House-isms

• Are you comparing me to God? I mean, it's great, but so you know, I've never made a tree.
• Who the man? I the man. I always suspected.
• A secret club. What's the secret, they're all morons?
• I promise you, the next knitting injury that comes in, we're on it like stink on cheese.
• Like I always say, there's no 'I' in team. There's a 'me,' though, if you jumble it up.
• You put the Queen on your money, you're British.
• If you talk to God, you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic.
• Everybody lies.
• Truth begins in lies.
• You want to know how two chemicals interact, do you ask them? No, they're going to lie through their lying little chemical teeth. Throw them in a beaker and apply heat.
• We all make mistakes, and we all pay a price.
• Everybody does stupid things, it shouldn't cost them everything they want in life.
• The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up.
• Ideopathic, from the Latin meaning we're idiots cause we can't figure out what's causing it.
• The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth.
• It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain.
• How does someone just start drooling? Chase? Were you wearing your short shorts?
• You want to be a rebel; stop being cool. Wear a pocket protector like he does, and get a hair cut. Like the Asian kids that don't leave the library for a twenty hours stretch. They're the ones that don't care what you think.
• But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin.
• I find your interest interesting.
• You wanna come over tonight and watch old movies and *cry*?
• Overall, drug addicts are idiots
• So what's your plan? You take the big dark one, I'll take the little girl, and the Aussie will run like a scared wombat if things get tough.
• Oh, it's storytime! Let me get my baba.