I know what I like

Pilkingtonisms from "Guide to the Arts":

• It’s just something for your eyes to look at (art)
  
• I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually.
  
• That’s what art is to me: fill in a gap that otherwise would have naught in it.
  
• At the end of the day, if everyone wants one, then it’s gotta be good.
  
• I haven’t got any hair to comb so I don’t look in the mirror as much as the normal person.
  
• If Suzanne’s sat next to me, I tend to talk to her through the mirror.
  
• There’s no neck usage going on.
  
• It’s like there’s more people in the room.
  
• I can see everything in that room that’s going on in there without moving my head. Stephen Hawking would be well happy.
  
• If the flat’s a mess, it’s a mess twice.
  
• Why is it always a yak on every wall? (cavemen paintings)
  
• Why can’t they just do a full person? (statues)
  
• I don’t whistle that much I think ‘cause I’m fed up most the time in London.
  
• Me brain can come up with words that I don’t normally say: squirm.
  
• To make the classics live on, I’m surprised someone hasn’t added to ‘em.
  
• Nothing’s hard if you’re given it as a kid.
  
• A hobby shouldn’t take up a whole corner of the room. (piano)
  
• Just tell me what happened. I don’t want a weather forecast. (poetry)