There's a Starman waiting in the sky

Movie: The Martian. One of the best movies I've seen in months or longer. When last we saw Matt Damon, he was a nasty slime bucket in Interstellar. In a dramatic role reversal here, he plays a motivated, logical, enterprising MacGyver type protagonist. Well done, sir. Technology aside, I didn't understand why or how a woman crew member of this day and age (probably in her late 20s) would be into disco music but was grateful that they played mostly good disco songs from the likes of Vicki Sue Robinson, The Hues Corporation, Gloria Gaynor and Abba compared to some of what my ears had to live through in the late 1970s. The council of Elrond inside joke with Sean Bean was funny but I didn't like Kristen Wiig's disparaging lines about it because it reinforced stereotypes often found on The Big Bang Theory that women do not like and/or are not interested in and/or can not possibly comprehend science fiction. Minor gripes. Nice to see such good usage of duct tape: "The handyman's secret weapon." Next trip: bring lots!

Separated at birth?

Author J.R. Ward and actress Meryl Streep?

Wodehousing

From my friend Mose who found it somewhere or from someone and posted it on facebook, The Drones Club is a site where you can find a new silly P. G. Wodehouse quote upon every page refresh.

Separated at Birth?

Pharrell and a Siamese cat?

Cold as ice to me

How winter is like an abusive boyfriend: 

• He pushes for quick involvement.  Blizzards and 9 feet of snow as early as October.
• He is controlling. Who wants to drive very far on ice and/or slush covered roads or be outside in minus 20 wind chill for more than a couple minutes? We have to wear certain clothes, put on extra moisturizer, pay high heating bills.
• He has very unrealistic expectations. Shoveling the sidewalk and driveway. Sometimes twice a day. The snow ends up piled so high, it’s difficult to throw it atop the heap with the shovel.
• There is isolation. Stuck mostly inside the house for months, watching endless bad television, bored.
• He blames others for his own mistakes. It’s global warming. It’s the polar vortex. It’s the arctic vortex. It’s El Niño. It’s the jet stream.
• He makes everyone else responsible for their feelings. We’d enjoy it if we were skiers.
• He is cruel to animals and children. Homeless animals freeze. Deer can’t find food. Kids have to walk in the street or trudge through snow up to their knees & risk being run over just walking to school for an education.
• He has sudden mood swings. Minus 30 wind chill one day and 50 degrees and sunny the next. If you're lucky.
• He has a past of battering. Centuries of abuse.
• There are threats of violence. The weather report.

Dear sir or madam will you read my book?

If you have some books (paperback, hardcover) or even audio discs and cassettes at home that you no longer want for one reason or another, but don't want to throw them in the recycling bin, check out the Paperback Swap site.You can list books you want to swap and when someone requests it, mail it to them. The first ten books you list earn you two credits to choose two books. Looks like after that whenever someone requests a book of yours, you receive a credit. There are over over 4 million titles to choose from. You print the postage labels for books people request from you at home and simply mail it to them.

Together for the first time

One morning last week my stapler became hopelessly jammed. Not what I was wanting when I had to staple together 24 invoices. And it's a little embarrassing having coworkers see one trying to fish out the stuck staples with an unbent paperclip. Honestly, those little buggers (the staples, not the coworkers!) took me about 20 minutes to free. The previous week I had to figure out how to reload staples in an electronic stapler. Open the visor, that was easy. Next step took me several Google searches to find and the next step was: unlock the cartridge. Nowhere did the internet tell me HOW to unlock the cartridge. I finally figured out to press down very hard (breaking a fingernail in the process) on a teeny blue button which apparently was the cartridge lock.

So for a couple weeks it seemed staples and/or staplers were out to get me. If only someone would invent a staple-free stapler. Oh wait, someone has!

There's a new handy device that cuts a little flap in the corner of your papers, folds those flaps back and tucks them into a tiny slit. It can clip together up to five sheets at once. It's safe for all ages and supposedly maintenance free. Prices start at six dollars. Government offices in Japan almost all use these devices exclusively. The current market for these is about 30% more than traditional staplers.

If I could save time in a fish tank

"An oasis of calm in your hectic cube."

On my work desk I have my computer and assorted dull things like: stapler, calendar, hand lotion, tape dispenser and paper clips. It would be very cool to add this for life, color and even functionality. I'd probably end up watching the fish swim around far too much, though, since there's something hypnotizing about that.

For around forty dollars, you can buy this beauty. It's powered entirely by your computer's USB power. Plays soothing nature sounds. I suppose not everyone considers all nature sounds soothing. Frogs and birds are very well outside, but I don't know about indoors and the sound of running water would probably make me have to use the ladies room more often. It contains a multifunctional pen holder, multicolor interior lights, under-gravel filtration system, low voltage pump, LCD calendar with time and date plus the temperature, alarm clock and countdown timer (hopefully not countdown to when you're fired for watching your fish too much.)

So you are a star

If you would like you, your family and your friends to star in novels, Ustarnovels can make that literary dream come true. They have ebooks, romance novels, vampire thrillers, childrens and teens books, the classics and more categories to choose. The books are bound paperbacks that look like any other book you'd buy except you star in the story. The personalized romance novels can be 150 to 180 pages. The personalized classics from 120 to 520 pages. You choose your own cover and spend five minutes filling out a questionaire to provide details required to personalize the story. Cost is between $24.95 and $39.95 plus shipping and handling. 

How many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall

Trypophobia is a fear of holes, or objects with holes. Beehives, ant hills, sponges, seed pods. That sort of thing. Apparently people with this fear see holes like these and have a reaction in their brains that signals danger. I'm mentioning this because the street where I live currently is turning into what resembles a bomb site, with hundreds (seemingly thousands) of potholes. Driving down it makes one wonder if one of those holes (or a conglomeration of them) will turn into a gigantic sinkhole and one will be sucked into the earth's core. If I suddenly disappear, look for me there.

Check it and see

One night sitting, listening to an old ELO album, the song "Ma-ma-ma belle" came on and in a moment of epiphone that should have happened decades ago, I realized it was way too similar of a sound to Foreigner's "Hot blooded." The ELO song was released in 1973. Foreigner's in 1978. Listen for yourself. And someone give Jeff Lynne a call.

Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?

I saw this in a magazine (which magazine, I have now forgotten) that I read a couple weeks ago. While you’re out shopping, you may want to be aware that colors can affect how you spend your money. And those colors are placed there on purpose to make you spend your money like the “ad wizards” want you to. Here’s some helpful hints:

Black: Makes everything seem more posh.

Blue: One of the most favored colors. Customers are 15% more likely to return to stores with blue color schemes. Makes people feel secure.

Burgundy: Reminds customers of the rich and refined. So that must be why so much of my house is decorated in burgundy. If I can’t be rich and refined, I might as well fool myself.

Orange: Associated with affordability.

Pink: Has calming effects.

Red: Too much like a stop sign. Stores should avoid using.

Green: Eco minded, even if what the customer is buying is not eco friendly.

Violet: Think of royalty.

White: Simplicity and purity, modernity and honesty.

Yellow: Fast food favorite, supposedly increases appetites.

Separated at birth?

I always suspected Canadian musician Lisa Dalbello was secretly a Romulan.

Never break the chain

It was interesting re-watching Simon & Garfunkel's concert in New York City from around 30 years ago. Among many other things I noticed, the duo coincidentally happened to mention all three of my cats by name during this show: May, she will stay and Hop on the bus, Gus, and Wake up little Susie. Shortly after watching this concert, Jeopardy had an answer about a song of theirs that used tire chains. I thought "Bridge Over Trouble Water" used drums and cymbals, etc. when it builds to a crescendo. But that was the correct question. In listening to it, expecting the sorts of chains ghosts might be rattling, I didn't hear chains, so I had to look up where it really was. Drummer Hal Blaine said, “The image I got when I heard the song was a black man in a chain gang. So I went out to my car, got my chains from my snow tires, and overdubbed the ending section. I was on my knees in front of the snare, pulling the tire chains across the head, and slapping them down on two and four. It created a cool after-beat."

You gotta look sharp!

Recently read about this woman who, in 2012, wrote a poem every single day and then posted them on her blog Amy Turn Sharp.. And they're good poems. Wonderful to read. So I've been needling myself, saying to myself, Why am I not doing this? Drag myself out of bed 15 minutes earlier & write something, anything and put it in a Varushka poetry blog. At any rate, when the weather's been nicer, I've been taking my lunch half hour to sit outside & scribble a page or so of lunch poems, much like Frank O'Hara, but of course, not at all like Frank O'Hara because he wrote so phenomenally, even during his lunch hour.

Separated at birth?

Shakira and Abba'sAgnetha Fältskog?

An Idiot Abroad Season 1

Some of  my favorite lines from Karl (and Ricky and Steve)'s series where Karl visits the seven wonders of the world and whines:

• They wreck everything. They make everything weird. 
• He's scared to go to China in case he gets a taste for toad.
• Their alphabet is like someone testing out a biro.
• Everything we've gone, the did it weirder. 
• Everything's sort of hazy, like some Kate Bush video.
• I don't think I've ever felt this lost, even in Wales. 
• Was that a masssage or was I just mugged?
• Where's the line between food and insect?
• Just the weirdness of China, that tires you out on its own.
• This ain't a place where they need an iPod.
• It goes on for miles over hills. So does the M6 and that does a job.
• It's not the Great Wall. It's an alright wall.
• I've never said to you, "I'll have a bit of toad."
• You don't normally have to have a fire extinguisher on standby when you're having a massage.
• I'm not going on a camel again.
• I didn't come here for a Latin lesson.
• What do you put down as an address? The Cave? 
• My eyes have never been so busy.
• They just overload the bike so much that you just think "get a van."
• I'm getting bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I'm him."
• I think I've seen a fish with three heads.
• I'm not gonna use a pyramid.
• Chocolate eggs, that's what Easter is. Take the eggs away, it's Friday.
• Why have we got a day for pancakes?
• It's like everyone's daring each other to do something stupid.
• You don't get that fat from wasp larvae.
• I'm half tempted to fall over, like that woman, get a lift home.
• It's like something out of Planet of the Apes.
• It's like a game of jenga that's got out of hand.
• Is it normal to have sweaty ears?
• Me ears haven't stopped since I've been here.
• I've never watched Tarzan and thought I'd love to go there on holiday. 
• It's a hard life to be a stick insect.
• No matter where you live, there's a nutter.

Cold as ice to me

One of the times I visited Niagara Falls, the American side was nearly frozen over. I took a photograph of it but don't know where that is now. The weird part was that it was the beginning of May. While I don't remember that winter and spring being exceptionally cold, I do remember being disappointed that the Falls weren't roaring down the hillside. But I'm more of a summer type of person. Some winter enthusiasts would probably be thrilled to see the Falls frozen. It's happened a few times in history. 1848 and also both very cold winters of 1911 and 1912. At that time people walked across the Falls until the ice broke and three people lost their lives. After that it didn't seem like a good idea anymore. The above picture looks similar to when I visited, although not in color and obviously all those people weren't there when I was!

Twilight, time to dream awhile

First I must say I enjoyed the Twilight books and first three movies but while watching "Breaking Dawn Part 2" I found myself thinking "This is really dumb" and "I hope it's over soon." So, what was the problem? Too much of CG effects? I know they wanted it from vampire Bella's point of view but was there no way to realistically portray this? During the too long "battle," we started laughing that heads were being flipped back like Pez dispensers. Not the reaction producers and directors wanted, I'm sure. For the first twenty minutes the repetition of "Twinkle twinkle little star" music in the background (or possibly in my head) annoyed me. There was no subplot whatsoever, which could have easily been accomplished by incorporating Meyer's "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner." That would have played on our emotions since her story is heartbreaking. Oh well.

Cat's choice

Most cats like being up high and in trees. With indoor cats, that's not always easy. But Pet Tree Houses has expertly crafted furniture it seems cats would love. Made out of real trees, unique and with a lifetime guarantee. Not sure if that means the tree or the cat. Probably the tree. Here's a picture that would make my 3 cats drool.

Birdie in the hand

Last night after dinner, about 100 crows were perched in the very tops of two trees at my neighbor's place, much like something out of Alfred Hitchcock's movie "The Birds." By the time I grabbed my camera, they had scattered. Apparently this behavior is called roosting. Why crows roost is still speculative. They may be congregating in a favorite, safe spot. They may find protection from predators by this safety in numbers method. They may be near a food source (which I hope was not meant to be me.) Maybe they had word something exciting was going to happen here at a certain time, but it never panned out, so they left.

Searching so long to find an answer

Documentary: "Searching for Sugar Man." Imagine being at work one day and a co-worker you've known for decades non-chalantly says, "I've discovered I'm a rock star in South Africa and I have to go on tour there now." So is the story of the musician known as Rodriguez. He released two albums in the early 1970s in America but they didn't chart so the record company dropped him. We wondered if his voice was too similar to James Taylor's (with a touch of Jose Feliciano and Dylanesque lyrics) and since there already was such a singer, if that's why he went nowhere at that time.

The rest of the story is that some girl traveled to South Africa with one of his records and a friend there copied it. Nowadays the rest of the story would not happen because copying music is illegal, making me wonder how many countries will miss out on future Rodriguezes because music is now property. Back to the 70s: his music spread through South Africa and he became a phenomenon. For decades he was rumored to be dead. Finally in the late 90s, through help from the Internet and one of his daughters posting on a website, he was discovered alive and scraping by in Detroit. Now his records will be re-released. Like everything else, he seems to be be taking this new notoriety in stride with humility and grace.

Me and you, my Pluto

If you'd like to help name the small moons that orbit Pluto, check out Pluto Rocks and vote for your favorite names.

Can you see the real me?

Last January production of the 100 watt incandescent light bulb was terminated. At some point in the fall I replaced the light bulb that died in the living room with a 75 watt. Because my brain bulb was also dim, it took me a few weeks to realize why I couldn't see as well to read in that spot. Well, this January the 75 watts have been eliminated. So I'm left with 90 watt knock offs from Hungary or choosing the new ugly and much more expensive fluorescent bulbs which are dimmer than my brain bulb and take time to warm up, leaving me to wonder what century I'm living in when I'm expected to wait for a bulb to warm up and think it's progress.

That aside, Philips in the Netherlands has created an LED hue home lighting system that can be controlled by your phone so you can switch lights on or off, adjust their brightness and color from anywhere, even another country. They'll remember favorite settings and have possibly 16 million colors to chose from. A starter kit of three bulbs and some sort of router bridge costs $200. Each additional light is $60. I'm not sure how much light they provide.

Do we need 'em : Wovel

I've never used one but I suspect I might need  a Wovel. They are wheeled snow shovels designed to pick up more snow three times faster than an ordinary shovel, plus reduce physical strain. Apparently comparable to walking, you use your body weight to life and throw snow. Snow blowers are loud and I don't want to wake the entire neighborhood at 6 a.m. Plus they're not green. Many days we only have an inch or two of snow, which the Wovel is best used for. So if someone wants to buy me one, I'll give it a try!

Who Are You, Downton Abbey version

While I haven't as yet seen the British show "Downton Abbey," I do have series one on reserve and hope to catch it soon. I don't know any of the characters, but this Downton Quiz Site says I'm "Robert, Earl of Grantham. Honest and old-fashioned, you’re primarily motivated by honor and duty. You’re so honorable, you’re actually willing to let a virtual stranger inherit all your worldly goods rather than risk breaking up your family’s legacy. Some people might call you a stick in the mud, but you can be extremely generous and forgiving toward those you feel have earned your loyalty."

Do we need 'em : Interactive Ski Goggles

Imagine zooming down a mountain called Whiteface and receiving a text message from the friend who you have tracked as being 50 feet behind you. Your speed, altitude and air time of your last jump? All this data pops up right there on a small interactive screen built into your visor. In the least intrusive spot possible, of course. Still, concentrating on the display may distract you and cause injury or death. Personally, I'd rather focus on whether or not I'm going to smack into a tree and break a leg or neck, but I have a couple nephews who would probably love this technology.