Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?

I saw this in a magazine (which magazine, I have now forgotten) that I read a couple weeks ago. While you’re out shopping, you may want to be aware that colors can affect how you spend your money. And those colors are placed there on purpose to make you spend your money like the “ad wizards” want you to. Here’s some helpful hints:

Black: Makes everything seem more posh.

Blue: One of the most favored colors. Customers are 15% more likely to return to stores with blue color schemes. Makes people feel secure.

Burgundy: Reminds customers of the rich and refined. So that must be why so much of my house is decorated in burgundy. If I can’t be rich and refined, I might as well fool myself.

Orange: Associated with affordability.

Pink: Has calming effects.

Red: Too much like a stop sign. Stores should avoid using.

Green: Eco minded, even if what the customer is buying is not eco friendly.

Violet: Think of royalty.

White: Simplicity and purity, modernity and honesty.

Yellow: Fast food favorite, supposedly increases appetites.

Separated at birth?

I always suspected Canadian musician Lisa Dalbello was secretly a Romulan.

Never break the chain

It was interesting re-watching Simon & Garfunkel's concert in New York City from around 30 years ago. Among many other things I noticed, the duo coincidentally happened to mention all three of my cats by name during this show: May, she will stay and Hop on the bus, Gus, and Wake up little Susie. Shortly after watching this concert, Jeopardy had an answer about a song of theirs that used tire chains. I thought "Bridge Over Trouble Water" used drums and cymbals, etc. when it builds to a crescendo. But that was the correct question. In listening to it, expecting the sorts of chains ghosts might be rattling, I didn't hear chains, so I had to look up where it really was. Drummer Hal Blaine said, “The image I got when I heard the song was a black man in a chain gang. So I went out to my car, got my chains from my snow tires, and overdubbed the ending section. I was on my knees in front of the snare, pulling the tire chains across the head, and slapping them down on two and four. It created a cool after-beat."

You gotta look sharp!

Recently read about this woman who, in 2012, wrote a poem every single day and then posted them on her blog Amy Turn Sharp.. And they're good poems. Wonderful to read. So I've been needling myself, saying to myself, Why am I not doing this? Drag myself out of bed 15 minutes earlier & write something, anything and put it in a Varushka poetry blog. At any rate, when the weather's been nicer, I've been taking my lunch half hour to sit outside & scribble a page or so of lunch poems, much like Frank O'Hara, but of course, not at all like Frank O'Hara because he wrote so phenomenally, even during his lunch hour.

Separated at birth?

Shakira and Abba'sAgnetha Fältskog?

An Idiot Abroad Season 1

Some of  my favorite lines from Karl (and Ricky and Steve)'s series where Karl visits the seven wonders of the world and whines:

• They wreck everything. They make everything weird. 
• He's scared to go to China in case he gets a taste for toad.
• Their alphabet is like someone testing out a biro.
• Everything we've gone, the did it weirder. 
• Everything's sort of hazy, like some Kate Bush video.
• I don't think I've ever felt this lost, even in Wales. 
• Was that a masssage or was I just mugged?
• Where's the line between food and insect?
• Just the weirdness of China, that tires you out on its own.
• This ain't a place where they need an iPod.
• It goes on for miles over hills. So does the M6 and that does a job.
• It's not the Great Wall. It's an alright wall.
• I've never said to you, "I'll have a bit of toad."
• You don't normally have to have a fire extinguisher on standby when you're having a massage.
• I'm not going on a camel again.
• I didn't come here for a Latin lesson.
• What do you put down as an address? The Cave? 
• My eyes have never been so busy.
• They just overload the bike so much that you just think "get a van."
• I'm getting bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I'm him."
• I think I've seen a fish with three heads.
• I'm not gonna use a pyramid.
• Chocolate eggs, that's what Easter is. Take the eggs away, it's Friday.
• Why have we got a day for pancakes?
• It's like everyone's daring each other to do something stupid.
• You don't get that fat from wasp larvae.
• I'm half tempted to fall over, like that woman, get a lift home.
• It's like something out of Planet of the Apes.
• It's like a game of jenga that's got out of hand.
• Is it normal to have sweaty ears?
• Me ears haven't stopped since I've been here.
• I've never watched Tarzan and thought I'd love to go there on holiday. 
• It's a hard life to be a stick insect.
• No matter where you live, there's a nutter.

Cold as ice to me

One of the times I visited Niagara Falls, the American side was nearly frozen over. I took a photograph of it but don't know where that is now. The weird part was that it was the beginning of May. While I don't remember that winter and spring being exceptionally cold, I do remember being disappointed that the Falls weren't roaring down the hillside. But I'm more of a summer type of person. Some winter enthusiasts would probably be thrilled to see the Falls frozen. It's happened a few times in history. 1848 and also both very cold winters of 1911 and 1912. At that time people walked across the Falls until the ice broke and three people lost their lives. After that it didn't seem like a good idea anymore. The above picture looks similar to when I visited, although not in color and obviously all those people weren't there when I was!

Twilight, time to dream awhile

First I must say I enjoyed the Twilight books and first three movies but while watching "Breaking Dawn Part 2" I found myself thinking "This is really dumb" and "I hope it's over soon." So, what was the problem? Too much of CG effects? I know they wanted it from vampire Bella's point of view but was there no way to realistically portray this? During the too long "battle," we started laughing that heads were being flipped back like Pez dispensers. Not the reaction producers and directors wanted, I'm sure. For the first twenty minutes the repetition of "Twinkle twinkle little star" music in the background (or possibly in my head) annoyed me. There was no subplot whatsoever, which could have easily been accomplished by incorporating Meyer's "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner." That would have played on our emotions since her story is heartbreaking. Oh well.

Cat's choice

Most cats like being up high and in trees. With indoor cats, that's not always easy. But Pet Tree Houses has expertly crafted furniture it seems cats would love. Made out of real trees, unique and with a lifetime guarantee. Not sure if that means the tree or the cat. Probably the tree. Here's a picture that would make my 3 cats drool.

Birdie in the hand

Last night after dinner, about 100 crows were perched in the very tops of two trees at my neighbor's place, much like something out of Alfred Hitchcock's movie "The Birds." By the time I grabbed my camera, they had scattered. Apparently this behavior is called roosting. Why crows roost is still speculative. They may be congregating in a favorite, safe spot. They may find protection from predators by this safety in numbers method. They may be near a food source (which I hope was not meant to be me.) Maybe they had word something exciting was going to happen here at a certain time, but it never panned out, so they left.

Searching so long to find an answer

Documentary: "Searching for Sugar Man." Imagine being at work one day and a co-worker you've known for decades non-chalantly says, "I've discovered I'm a rock star in South Africa and I have to go on tour there now." So is the story of the musician known as Rodriguez. He released two albums in the early 1970s in America but they didn't chart so the record company dropped him. We wondered if his voice was too similar to James Taylor's (with a touch of Jose Feliciano and Dylanesque lyrics) and since there already was such a singer, if that's why he went nowhere at that time.

The rest of the story is that some girl traveled to South Africa with one of his records and a friend there copied it. Nowadays the rest of the story would not happen because copying music is illegal, making me wonder how many countries will miss out on future Rodriguezes because music is now property. Back to the 70s: his music spread through South Africa and he became a phenomenon. For decades he was rumored to be dead. Finally in the late 90s, through help from the Internet and one of his daughters posting on a website, he was discovered alive and scraping by in Detroit. Now his records will be re-released. Like everything else, he seems to be be taking this new notoriety in stride with humility and grace.

Me and you, my Pluto

If you'd like to help name the small moons that orbit Pluto, check out Pluto Rocks and vote for your favorite names.

Can you see the real me?

Last January production of the 100 watt incandescent light bulb was terminated. At some point in the fall I replaced the light bulb that died in the living room with a 75 watt. Because my brain bulb was also dim, it took me a few weeks to realize why I couldn't see as well to read in that spot. Well, this January the 75 watts have been eliminated. So I'm left with 90 watt knock offs from Hungary or choosing the new ugly and much more expensive fluorescent bulbs which are dimmer than my brain bulb and take time to warm up, leaving me to wonder what century I'm living in when I'm expected to wait for a bulb to warm up and think it's progress.

That aside, Philips in the Netherlands has created an LED hue home lighting system that can be controlled by your phone so you can switch lights on or off, adjust their brightness and color from anywhere, even another country. They'll remember favorite settings and have possibly 16 million colors to chose from. A starter kit of three bulbs and some sort of router bridge costs $200. Each additional light is $60. I'm not sure how much light they provide.

Do we need 'em : Wovel

I've never used one but I suspect I might need  a Wovel. They are wheeled snow shovels designed to pick up more snow three times faster than an ordinary shovel, plus reduce physical strain. Apparently comparable to walking, you use your body weight to life and throw snow. Snow blowers are loud and I don't want to wake the entire neighborhood at 6 a.m. Plus they're not green. Many days we only have an inch or two of snow, which the Wovel is best used for. So if someone wants to buy me one, I'll give it a try!

Who Are You, Downton Abbey version

While I haven't as yet seen the British show "Downton Abbey," I do have series one on reserve and hope to catch it soon. I don't know any of the characters, but this Downton Quiz Site says I'm "Robert, Earl of Grantham. Honest and old-fashioned, you’re primarily motivated by honor and duty. You’re so honorable, you’re actually willing to let a virtual stranger inherit all your worldly goods rather than risk breaking up your family’s legacy. Some people might call you a stick in the mud, but you can be extremely generous and forgiving toward those you feel have earned your loyalty."

Do we need 'em : Interactive Ski Goggles

Imagine zooming down a mountain called Whiteface and receiving a text message from the friend who you have tracked as being 50 feet behind you. Your speed, altitude and air time of your last jump? All this data pops up right there on a small interactive screen built into your visor. In the least intrusive spot possible, of course. Still, concentrating on the display may distract you and cause injury or death. Personally, I'd rather focus on whether or not I'm going to smack into a tree and break a leg or neck, but I have a couple nephews who would probably love this technology.

Do we need 'em? : Gorilla Arm

Windows 8 may very well be the best operating system in the world, ever. I don't know because I haven't used it. Reading about it using touch screen menus has made me wonder why they (Gates and Co.) chose to make it more phone & tablet user-like because: 
"humans aren't designed to hold their arms in front of their faces making small motions. After more than a very few selections, the arm begins to feel sore, cramped, and oversized — the operator looks like a gorilla while using the touch screen and feels like one afterwards."

It's crazy enough that certain software is so heavily mouse-centric. Type on a couple keys, reach for mouse. Reach back to keyboard, type on a couple keys, reach back to mouse. Repeat all day long and ignore cranky right shoulder muscles.

Tell you all about it when I get home

Ewan and Charley went back out on the road again in "Long Way Down," this time riding from the northern tip of Scotland (count how many times Ewan says John O'Groats) to the southern tip of Africa. Watching this immediately after finishing "Long Way Round" made for an abrupt change of feel - they seemed more subdued and serious, like this was a job (which it was) rather than just an adventure. Everyone seemed tense from expecting to meet schedules and deadlines until they had a huge off-camera blow up in Ethiopia. Then tensions eased and the guys seemed more like themselves, fraternizing with the locals, being sillier. Later Ewan's wife pulled a Yoko. I understand her wanting to be with her husband but since she previously had zero experience riding any type of motorcycle anywhere, it seemed dangerously foolish.

The disparity of attitude and landscape from one African country to another was often staggering. A school friend of mine has done missions work with the orphans of Ethiopia so I appreciated seeing a small glimpse of what she and her family have lived with. The scenery was always astounding no matter where they were. Count how many times Ewan compares where they are to Scotland. I didn't think any of it looked like Scotland, except Scotland. I loved the people who put up a huge sign near the road for them to stop in for a cup of tea. Amazing to see the pyramids right beside the road. Amusing how no one at the Tunisian "Star Wars" set recognized Ewen.

Hang my head, Drown my fear, Till you all just Disappear...

One of the places the guys stopped in "Long Way Round" was the Aral Sea in Kazakhstan which isn't nearly as much a sea as it used to be. Previously one of the four largest lakes in the world, it's been shrinking since the Soviets diverted the rivers feeding it. Its near disappearance has wrecked the local economy and climate. Hundreds of ships were left to rust in the now desert. They'd all still be there if locals hadn't scavenged them for scrap metal. It would be very strange to walk out the front door of your house and right there in your yard is this huge ship.

It looks a lot like the one used by Jimmy Page

Watched documentary: "It Might Get Loud" featuring the remarkable guitarists Jimmy Page, The Edge and Jack White, all of whom are musical geniuses. And they have some beautiful guitars. Even one Jack makes with an old soda pop bottle. The guys discuss their formative years and trade info on how to play some of their hits. "Kashmir" in the bonus features is brilliant. I've always loved the way Page plays for the sound as well as how he puts his entire body and soul into it, becoming fluid with the guitar. The Edge must be very good natured to allow a clip of extremely early U2 looking like they were about 15 and playing dreadful kitsch. I was embarrassed for him, just watching it. Glad they improved! Nice to see some clips featuring Meg White who might have explained The Tractatus from Wittgenstein in depth. We have no way of knowing because she's a Quiet Talker.

Call me in Alaska if it all turns out right

We watched this old (2004? How is it that 2004 is now considered old?) special/series that Ewan McGregor made with his friend Charley Boorman, "Long Way Round." Enjoyed it so much, we're next going to watch the sequel, "Long Way Down." The first one, the lads start out in London and ride their very spiffy motorcycles east through incredible terrain, sometimes without a hint of a road, nothing but marshlands or rivers to cross over Europe and Asia, into Alaska, down through Canada and over to New York City. It took them 3 or 4 months plus prep time. I hear they have a special edition of this were they spend more time in Europe and America which would be even better because other than Montana, you really see next to nothing of this part of the world. From the map, it looked like they rode very close to us here, possibly just over the PA border. Would've been so cool to see them. Maybe if they take another trip!

What I am is what I am you what you are or what?

My  niece mentioned a 20-questions-like web page The Akinator, the Web Genius that can be fun to play. It took the thing more than the original guesses to come up with what I was thinking of both times I played, but when I continued, it guessed correctly. And without really a lot of information to go on. I think I'll try again with Edina Monsoon.. Yes, it guessed her with no problem.

Separated at birth revisited

Zoe Kazan and Kristin Hersh?

I love Paris in the springtime

One of the best movies I've seen this year is last year's Oscar winner for best original screenplay: Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris. Tremendous cinematography created an ambiance that transports you there where you enjoy a tight, flawless script. Whether you want to suspend disbelief and think Gil/Owen Wilson truly time-traveled back to the 1920s or whether it was poetic license of the viewer gaining insight into his developing creativity, doesn't matter. The result was superbly lovely. And now one of my favorite Allen movies of all time. Since he's filmed around 41 movies, that speaks volumes.

The cast portrayed their characters so deftly that it seemed like being able to meet these great writers and artists from 90 years ago. Being a literature fan, I loved seeing Hemingway, Fitzgerald and Stein brought to life. Coincidentally, two days after watching this movie, a Jeopardy question/answer concerned a composer who lived in Paris in the 1920s. I'm shouting at the television "Porter! Porter!" but none of the contestants knew it. They should have watched the movie. Also coincidentally, it seems from my memory that in his later years, Dali was friends with Mia Farrow. Cue: it's a small world.

Better off dead if you haven't yet died

A couple months ago, we watched Michael Moore's documentary "Capitalism: a Love Story." Agree or disagree with Moore, and there are plenty of people who do both (personally I like to do both at the same time), he always makes some jaw-dropping points. The previous post about FDR stuck in my mind. Another "what in the name of sanity?" moment was about how employers are taking out life insurance on their employees. If your company does so, you are worth far more to them dead than alive. Think about the implications. And then check Dead Peasants to find out how much your workplace may value you.

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness

On January 11, 1944, Franklin D. Roosevelt gave a State of the Union address and proposed a Second Bill of Rights. This included:

• The right to a useful and remunerative job in the industries or shops or farms or mines of the nation;
• The right to earn enough to provide adequate food and clothing and recreation;
• The right of every farmer to raise and sell his products at a return which will give him and his family a decent living;
• The right of every businessman, large and small, to trade in an atmosphere of freedom from unfair competition and domination by monopolies at home or abroad;
• The right of every family to a decent home;
• The right to adequate medical care and the opportunity to achieve and enjoy good health;
• The right to adequate protection from the economic fears of old age, sickness, accident, and unemployment;
• The right to a good education.

FDR did not live to implement these ideas. If anyone wants to pick this up and run with it, the entire nation would benefit from a touchdown.

Tell me who are you

For all your Dr Who crocheting needs, see: Dr Who Crochet. Okay, maybe they're lacking one rather important need. The patterns!

The qwerty effect

I don't know about anyone else, but right now I'm trying to type around a big fat cat body. Because of this, my right elbow is jutting out towards the front porch and the right side of my neck is scrunched up. This means that letters I'm typing with my right hand are significantly harder than those with my left hand. I suppose one could infer from this that I like the letters on the left side of the keyboard better because they're easier to type. I know my favorite password is all typed on the left side.

But wait. There's two linguists named Kyle Jasmin and Daniel Casasanto who may have never had to type around a big fat cat body. In their newly published paper, they argue the opposite. They state that because the QWERTY keyboard has more letters on the left than the right, it's easier to find the correct letters for right-side dominated words. Also, letter combinations for those right-side dominated words are easier. Therefore, words dominated by right-side letters "acquire more positive valences." That is, we like 'em. Well, do we kitties?

Your mother was a hamster!

Or head on over to the Luther Insulter for some creative gems from centuries past. This morning I got:

"Your words are so foolishly and ignorantly composed that I cannot believe you understand them."

From Explanations of the Ninety-Five Theses, pg. 87 of Luther's Works, Vol. 31.

Hit the "Insult me again" button over & over for more.

The genealogy chart goes ever on

If you absolutely need to know how in the world all those Tolkien characters are related to each other, they're working on making it less complicated at

The Tolkien Project.

No monopoly on common sense

I don't drink but if I did and had some vodka around the house, This Old House magazine suggests some other uses for it:

• Erase Window Streaks - Use diluted spray
• Shine Chrome - Soak in soft cloth & wipe fixtures
• Deodorize Laundry - removes musty smells
• Remove Rust from Screws - leave in for a few hours, wipe clean
• Preserve Cut Flowers - it inhibits production of ethylene, which makes flowers wilt.
• Remove Stains from Upholstery - takes out ink, grass, and some foods.
• Kill Weeds - Mix 1 ounce of vodka, a few drops of liquid dish soap, and 2 cups of water in a spray bottle.
• Clean Mold and Mildew - Spray on, let sit up to 30 minutes, scrub clean.
• Soothe Aching Muscles - make a frozen pack with equal parts vodka and water.
• Stop Odors - use diluted spritz insides of shoes and boots

The girl with the most

A couple weekends ago we watched (or read, since they were in Swedish and subtitled in English) two of the "Girl Who" movies. I inadvertently picked up one and three, so we missed the second one. Last fall I'd read the first Stieg Larsson book, "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" (or in Swedish, "Men Who Hate Women") and found myself for the first time in my life NOT wishing to grab the next flight to Sweden. Wow, that was a lot of violence and cringe-worthiness. The movie, though more visual, seemed less violent to me. Perhaps because it was shorter and less internal. Meaning, I wasn't always aware of the mental and emotional pain and suffering the book showed.

Found the movies very well produced and acted. My only couple gripes are personal. Knowing some Swedish, I find myself annoyed when the subtitle translation isn't exact. And I see no need for Hollywood to re-do this, as they did, with British (James Bond?) or American actors. The dvd's had dubbing available if one didn't want to read the subtitles. I'll give their version a miss.

Advantage World

Last month, at the recommendation of my friend Dan, we watched Scott Pilgrim vs. the World & loved it. B said it was the most creative film he'd seen all year or more. When they did the shout out to Pizza Pizza, I was like "so cool!" B says, "I thought you were making that up." (I still sing the jingle around the house sometimes. And it goes like this: "967-1111, phone Pizza Pizza hey hey hey.") The girl whose expletives were black boxed over was hysterical. Some quotes I really liked:

Envy : You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst.
Gideon : You made me swallow my gum! That's going to be in my digestive tract for seven years!
Matthew : Didn't you get my email explaining the situation?
Young Neil: He punched the highlights out of her hair!
Crash: This song is called "I Am So Sad. I Am So Very Very Sad."
Crash: Ok this next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It's called "We Hate You, Please Die."

Smitten much?

If you enter your annual salary into the nifty Romney Income Calculator, it will figure out how long it took Mitt (in 2010) to make that amount. In my 10 hours 26 minutes and 1 seconds, he probably didn't even break a sweat.

I'll be right here when you come back

Having worked the front desk at a public library, I know you can find some interesting things left behind in books. For a while I saved bookmarks that I found and liked. Bookseller Michael Popek has been saving many things he's found and has compiled over 150 of them in his new book Forgotten Bookmarks. Tickets, receipts, love notes, flowers, drawings, grocery lists, postcards, recipes, even money. One of his rarest finds is a 1904 costume ball invitation. File under: wish I'd thought of this book idea, but I didn't so I'm giving this guy credit.

Do we need 'em: Pig speakers

If you have about 50 dollars hanging around & would like to plug your mp3 player or ipod into a pig's behind, you're in luck!

What, no cat model??

Please Mr Postman

When we got home from work last Friday, B says to me: "Stamps are going up to 61 cents!"
I said: "What?! They are not! They're 44 now. The post office is not going to raise them almost 20 cents."
B: "Yes they are! I saw it on the news."
Me: "Were you watching Canadian news?"
B: ....

Out on the wiley windy moors

Move: The Trip. When his girlfriend backs out of accompanying him on an assignment to tour Northern England's restaurants, actor Steve Coogan asks his fellow actor/friend Rob Brydon along. The gorgeous & breathtaking scenery made me want to start planning a vacation to Great Britain. The actors holding dueling impressions made tears start rolling down my cheeks. Their Sean Connery's reminded me of my nephews at Thanksgiving. I'm still not sure who had the better Michael Caine. Appreciated the "Wuthering Heights" nod and their trying to do Swedish accents without slipping into the Muppet chef. Fun ride.

I see that hand

Schools in a Florida county, a healthcare system in the Carolinas, a bank in Japan: they're all using a digital wallet. Instead of paying with cash or credit card, when you buy a lunch or pay a bill, the veins in your palm are scanned by near infrared light and your transation is completed electronically.

The 3D configuration of hand veins has proven more unique than fingerprints and faces. It's easy, quick and offers less chance of error and fraud. So why do I think of a Red Dward episode where they had to chop off someone's hand to use as ID verification in order to open a door? And, put down that carpenter's tool belt, Harrison. They may need you in yet another Fugitive remake.

Address unknown

Yesterday at break while reading Time magazine, I saw a blurb about the US Post Office putting zip codes into place in 1963. When I mentioned it to Carolyn, she asked what they did before that. I tried to kick-start the old brain, because I knew that there was a song which mentioned the previous system. All that came to mind was "Please Mr. Postman" but I knew that wasn't it. So, I was forced to Google and learned that for 20 years pre-63, the PO used zones (usually one or two digit numbers.) And then the light bulb lit. In the Elvis song "Return to Sender" he sings:


Return to sender, address unknown.
No such number, no such zone.

Up in the sky

Although the weather is near blizzarding, Wolfram Alpha says there are airplanes flying above me as I type. They are:

United Airlines from New York to Chicago.
Jet Blue from Buffalo to Ft. Myers, FL.
Jet Blue from New York to Vegas.
Atlantic Southeast from Connecticut to Detroit.
Delta from Newark to Salt Lake City.

To check who's above you, just ask Wolfram Alpha : "What flights are overhead?" In a Big Brother way, it knows.

Separated at birth?

Kim Jong Il and Andrew Garcia ??

Career via color

Dewey Color System Career Path gives an easy test where you chose the color that you like the best and/or least. After a series of those, it will calculate what your careers most suit your preferences. As they say, "The Dewey Color System® is now the world's most accurate career testing instrument."

Here's how mine turned out:

Best Occupational Category
You're a CREATOR: Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional

These original types place a high value on aesthetic qualities and have a great need for self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Fields of interest are art, drama, music, and writing or places where they can express, assemble, or implement creative ideas.

Suggested careers: Advertising Executive, Architect, Web Designer, Creative Director, Public Relations, Fine or Commercial Artist, Interior Decorator, Lawyer, Librarian, Musician, Reporter, Art Teacher, Broadcaster, Technical Writer, English Teacher, Architect, Photographer, Medical Illustrator, Corporate Trainer, Author, Editor, Landscape Architect, Exhibit Builder, and Package Designer.

Consider workplaces where you can create and improve beauty and aesthetic qualities. Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with your free-spirited nature. Suggested Creator workplaces: advertising, public relations, and interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools. Other workplaces to consider are art institutes, museums, libraries, and galleries.

Do we EVER need 'em!

When your workplace is being renovated and they can't have any heat on in the entire building and winter is on the way, I'd say TPTB/TIIC ought to spring for Slankets for the staff. With high heating bills and needing to keep the thermostat low, I wouldn't mind having one at my house either!

Do we need 'em? : Bumpits

Are hairstyles going back to 1962? If they are and you need some height, there's something called Bumpits to help you out.

Separated at birth?

John Lennon and Jet's lead singer Nic Cester?

24 : 4 a.m. - 5 a.m.

24. 7.21. Tony and his woman frame Jibran by putting terrorist type information on his computer. If he doesn’t film a statement, they will kill his brother Hamid. The police respond to this domestic disturbance but Jibran tells them there is no trouble. Some friends were drinking and got to arguing. Aw, c’mon, wink wink, at least. Jack orders every Muslim in the area investigated. It’s not racial profiling. Hodges said he was going to blame them. Chloe learns that Jack is infected with the prion variant. Olivia and Martin scheme to take care of Hodges who will leave for his new life in thirty minutes. Some account of Jibran’s clues the gang in on his expired visa. Rene and Jack visit Mr Gohar’s temple, where Jibran worships. Gohar doesn’t know where Jibran is, but he’s certain he’s not a terrorist.

Janis picks up on the earlier domestic disturbance call at Jibran’s. Jack and Renee take Gohar with. Martin calls his hit man. Olivia is to transfer funds and then he’ll proceed. She decides she can’t go through with it and leaves a message that she’s walking away. Chloe finds money in Jibran’s accounts were deposited thirty minutes ago but back dated. He’s innocent. Hodges doesn’t intend to be Mr Tippett forever, he ironically says just before he and his car blow up. Mrs President is informed that it must be an inside job. Jack and Renee find an armed hostile holding Hamid. They storm the place. Hamid attacks his attacker. Not the wisest move, since they need him to say who’s responsible. Jack calls for a medic. Best line: The rabbi’s: “It’s never too late to turn towards God.”

24 : 3 a.m. - 4 a.m.

24. 7.20. Jack informs Renee that Tony was the second man and is to be approached with extreme caution. Jack feels to blame for trusting him. Tony shoots his way outside the perimeter. Have the perimeters ever done any good on this show? Galvez wants money for the canister. Tony’s already wired it but the canister isn’t in the bag and Galvez pulls a gun on Tony who warns him “you don’t wanna do this.” I guess not. Jonas pulls through. They figure out his suicide attempt was coerced by the woman impersonating his lawyer who must be part of the larger group he mentioned. If they convince Jonas that the people who wanted him dead succeeded, that will protect his family. Mrs President can make him disappear to a hundred acre ranch in Colorado.

Tony and mystery woman discuss their next move. He thinks they should finish off the enemy while he’s down. But it isn’t their decision to make. The Evil Group holds a phone conference. Everyone received a data pack. The evidence trail will finger an innocent. Olivia isn’t happy with Jonas’s witness protection plan. Jack questions him but all he can reveal is he worked with like minds. People who can protect the country and show that the government can’t. He doesn’t know names. The project was based on anonymity and held together by one woman. Seems to involve private military firms, did they say?

Jack wants access to CTU servers and needs someone who knows the protocols. He phones Chloe to reconstitute the servers. She tells Morris to take their son and leave the city. Olivia can’t live with her mother’s decision. After venting to Aaron about killing Jonas, she calls a man named Martin who once mentioned there was no problem that couldn’t be handled or eliminated. Janis objects that Jack is violating the Bill of Rights among other things. Wow, she becomes more annoying every episode. Jack wants her to go whine somewhere else. In his rant, he calls the president Palmer. Chloe’s concerned about his confusion. Two brothers find the lights in their apartment go out and they receive a visit from Tony. Most poignant line: Aaron’s “I have seen the guilty walk free many times.”

24 : 2 a.m. - 3 a.m.

24. 7.19. Jonas requests his attorney, Miss Eames. As she’s getting ready to leave, she’s maced and injected with something that can’t be good. Her identity is stolen by a look alike. The suspect, Galvez, is in a storage yard in the projects. Tony tells him to stay put and wait for his call. Tony shoots himself to look like Galvez did it. Previously unbeknownst to us, Tony talked Galvez into working and stealing the canister for him. During debriefing, Jack hears Larry’s dead. He decides to help Renee. Tony tells Galvez to draw the FBI into the building and blow them up with the C4 he gave him. The fake Eames meets with Jonas. She guarantees his family’s safety if he does the right thing (have a natural dignified death) and slips him a pill that will induce cardiac arrest.

Kim didn’t have the heart to tell Jack he has a granddaughter named Teri. Jack notices both 9 millimeter and spent 45 casings at Larry’s death site. That many weapons doesn’t add up, so someone must have helped Galvez. While being delivered to the FBI, Jonas gulps the pill and is taken to the hospital instead. Jack’s notified of a discrepancy in his debriefing. Tony’s source, Cardiff, who supposedly died during Tony’s investigation, was arrested just now while going to Canada.

I think I fell asleep here and missed something. When the building blows up, Jack notices someone’s transponder wasn’t in it, so he wants the perimeter kept. Jack finds Renee. They concur that the sweep patterns were known. Jack pulls a gun on Tony. He’d told him earlier if he was lying, he’d kill him. Now he demands an explanation. Tony says he cut a deal with Cardiff. It was a meaningless lie. To Jack, there is no such thing. What is Tony’s involvement? Tony thinks Jack’s toxin is affecting his judgment and he’s paranoid. Jack suffers an untimely seizure so Tony can take his gun. Galvez kills a medic and commandeers his vehicle.

Citizens of hope and glory

Some of Karl’s quotes from Ricky Gervais’ Guide to the English.

• Being old isn’t great, is it?
• I suppose I was happiest in 1984.
• I could frown before I could walk.
• Me eyes moved about more than I did.
• Me Mum tried to send me to nursery. I said, no, I’m not having this.
• I was a late comer to pasta… There isn’t really anything like that in England.
• There was a fellow called Shorts Man.
• I’m being bombarded by everyone else’s hassle.
• It’s like grabbing a slug… Have you ever tried to grab a tongue?

24 : 1 a.m. - 2 a.m.

24. 7.18. Mrs President pulls out Tony and Company. Starkwood has surface to surface missiles in an underground depot next to the bioweapon storage. Who doesn’t? Tony has C4 on him. Again, who doesn’t? Jack demands Mrs President tell him the truth. Jonas wants a face to face meeting and she plans to make him realize the futility of his actions. Oh so naïve. Mrs President tells Jack she expects him to do what he thinks is right. He takes it as a cue for him and Renee to go covert. Jonas claims he didn’t know what Juma was up to and Starkwood should be allowed to protect the country. He wants to have level 6 access to classified material. Mrs President refuses to debate since he’s threatening to kill thousands.

The gang at Starkwood discover a government breech which is their cue to start the launch sequence. Tony fights with some guy which results in the bioweapon facility being destroyed. The presidential meeting is interrupted with the news. Mrs P wants Jonas and flunky Greg taken into custody. He warns her that it doesn’t end with him. Jack asks to have Tony cleared. Renee brings in Kim since she might have compatible stem cells. Jack’s furious but Renee explains Kim was at the Senate hearing in the morning and has been trying to see him all day. Kim regrets pushing him away but Jack believes the treatment’s small risk to her is too great. Aw. The Starkwood dude who was so keen on the launch has a canister of the bioweapon. He overpowers an FBI agent and flees. At a roadblock on Highway 42, Larry is hit. Tony, apologizing as he does so, finishes him off.

24 : 12 a.m. - 1 a.m.

24. 7.17. There are hostiles on all sides. Jonas insists weapons don’t exist in the building and the FBI has five minutes to get off the base. Since things are out of control, Jack calls Chairman Knowles who was cooperating with Mayer. What’s a prion variant? Anyway, an impromptu fist fight helps Tony and Knowles slip by unnoticed. The FBI feeds them numbers they need for entry. Knowles bolts and is discovered by one of Jonas’s people and taken to his office. Tony gets in. Jack’s symptoms begin. An air strike is ready for when the weapons are located. Olivia’s news guy, Ken, threatens to say she’s responsible for the chief of staff leaving and a source saw the WMD hijacked. The story would create panic. He’s willing to have her convince him to kill the story but even after she takes one for the team, he says he plans to run it anyway.

Jack will be injected with pandopamine or similar every two hours to mask his symptoms. There are experimental studies including possible treatment using stem cells from a family member. Jack won’t let them contact Kim. Tony has a visual and sends the picture for verification. The canisters are being transferred to a delivery system. Jonas questions Knowles about his snooping. He says he saw the FBI raid. They can’t take on the federal government. Jonas, having a different opinion, kills him. A squad of F18’s is headed for Starkwood. Olivia tells Ken if he runs the story or tries to blackmail her, she will use the cleverly recorded videotape of their tryst. Jonas has a proprietary line to Mrs President. Three missiles are loaded with the pathogen and aimed at cities. She has thirty seconds to abort the air strike. Best line we all want to ask the writers: “Who dreamed up this charade?”

24 : 11 p.m. - 12 a.m.

24. 7.16. They need Jack to get undressed. Been waiting seven seasons for that! In case we’re not worried enough about his fate, they show us horror films of what happened to the Sengala villagers who were exposed to same bioweapon. Jonas is getting ready to deploy. Tony won’t admit to knowing anything. Larry and Mrs President finally realize Starkwood framed Jack, were behind the day’s attacks, and worked with Juma. Renee debriefs Jack. One of the bad guys is about to kill Tony but is shot by another bad guy, Greg Seaton, who claims he needs help to stop Jonas. He refuses to spend his life in prison because Jonas has lost his mind. If granted immunity, he’ll show Tony where the weapons are located. They can set up a secure land line in his office. And this is where I fell asleep.

Jack’s blood work is positive. He’s infected. The disease isn’t contagious but there’s no cure. Tony calls the FBI. Greg wants a deal. Mrs President will be consulted. Greg takes Tony to the warehouse on the northeast part of the Starkwood compound. Jack wants to go, but they can’t risk his symptoms starting while he’s in the field. The FBI arrives at the compound with an executive order to search the building but the weapons aren’t there. Greg says Tony threatened to kill him so he told him what he wanted to know. Jonas is glad Greg bought them some time. The FBI plans to keep looking but Starkwood people ask them to leave. They’re on private property and Starkwood is prepared to defend itself. Best line: “Know the psychology of your subject. That’s in our manual.”

and the hubcaps all gleam

Drop by Walkscore and enter your home address. It will calculate how walk friendly your neighborhood may or may not be. Mine is 48 out of a possible 100, meaning I need a car. Here's the distance to some place they think I need to go:


Grocery Stores
0.36 Mi
Kwik Fill-Services
0.45 Mi
Fresh Cut Meats & M
0.63 Mi
Farm Fresh Foods
0.64 Mi
Lake County Dairy
0.7 Mi
Rite Aid
0.77 Mi
Gokey Mini Market
0.83 Mi
5th Street Sunoco
0.9 Mi
Kwik Fill-Services
Restaurants
0.45 Mi
Fresh Cut Meats & M
0.63 Mi
Fisher's Family Res
0.66 Mi
Shawbucks
0.69 Mi
Ironstone Restauran
0.7 Mi
Friendly Restaurant
0.7 Mi
Tim Hortons
0.74 Mi
Golden Griddle Fami
0.86 Mi
Mac Duff's Restaura
Coffee Shops
0.7 Mi
Tim Hortons
0.86 Mi
Timothy's
0.87 Mi
Labyrinth Press Com
0.91 Mi
Stedman Corner Coff
1.82 Mi
Coffee Cup
2.31 Mi
Starbucks
2.7 Mi
Tim Hortons
2.82 Mi
Dunkin' Donuts
Movie Theaters
0.79 Mi
Lucille Ball Little
0.83 Mi
Crown Theater & Ban
0.85 Mi
Chautauqua Cinema
0.87 Mi
Reg Lenna Civic Cen
2.05 Mi
Park 60 Drive-In
2.86 Mi
Cinema I & II Theat
4.06 Mi
Lakewood Cinema 6
13.68 Mi
Chautauqua Cinema
Schools
0.4 Mi
DeMarco Sisters Sch
0.48 Mi
Lincoln Elementary
0.51 Mi
Holy Trinity Luther
0.52 Mi
Milton J Fletcher E
0.6 Mi
Hillcrest Christian
Parks & R
0.6 Mi
Fenton Park
0.73 Mi
Baker Park
1.36 Mi
Nordstrom Park
Libraries
0.62 Mi
Fenton History Cent
0.87 Mi
Prendergast
0.9 Mi
WCA Health Sciences
3.13 Mi
Fluvanna Free Libra
3.34 Mi
Falconer Public Lib
3.8 Mi
Hazeltine Public Li
4.21 Mi
Lakewood Memorial L
6.5 Mi
Ashville Free Libra
Bookstores
0.69 Mi
Chautauqua Comics
0.82 Mi
Christian Treasures
0.82 Mi
Paperback Exchange
1.05 Mi
Book Outlet
2.69 Mi
Waldenbooks
13.9 Mi
CLSC Veranda
13.91 Mi
Barbara Berry's Boo
14.07 Mi
Chautauqua Bookstor
Drug Stores
0.63 Mi
Quality Markets: Ph
0.7 Mi
Rite Aid
0.7 Mi
CVS Pharmacy: Store
0.71 Mi
Walgreens
0.8 Mi
Resource Center
0.99 Mi
Parmed Pharmaceutic
1.13 Mi
Eckerd
Hardware Stores
0.6 Mi
Chautauqua Brick Co
0.6 Mi
Nelson Brothers Lum
0.63 Mi
Southern Tier Wood
0.73 Mi
Holmlund's Wallpape
1.21 Mi
Astry Bob Hardware
2.42 Mi
Home Depot
2.48 Mi
Sherwin-Williams
Clothing & Music
0.75 Mi
Bag Babe The
0.77 Mi
Lander's Men's Stor
0.79 Mi
Top Hat N Tails
0.81 Mi
Benson's
0.83 Mi
Suburban Blend
0.87 Mi
Townhouse Records a
0.87 Mi
Labyrinth Press Com

24 : 10 p.m. - 11 p.m.

24. 7.15. Somehow Jack and/or Tony figure out the bioweapon is at the Port of Alexandria with a thousand other canisters to search through. Since Ethan sanctioned Jack’s release from custody, he feels he must resign as chief of staff. Jack and Tony approach port authority officer Carl. The bad guys (led by Jonas, whoever he is when he’s at home) told Carl they were smuggling weapons from South America. Since he needed money for he and wife to conceive, he agreed to help. Jack needs the manifest but the database is password protected. Where’s Chloe? They need her. Wouldn’t you know, the phone lines are jammed. Bad Starkwood guys contact Carl by radio. He’s to pretend all is normal and let in the eight heavily armed hostiles.

Olivia informs a press guy that Jack killed Mayer. Isn’t she special? The FBI finds it curious that Mayer was killed with a machine gun Jack didn’t have. Plus there were broken doors and extra slugs around. And open files about Starkwood. Renee tells Larry that Jack believes Starkwood is behind Juma’s attacks. Bad Guy Cooper promises money for Carl in a truck but instead he’s to be killed. Jack can’t let Carl down and takes out Cooper. Carl runs away, with thanks. When Cooper doesn’t copy, combat ensues and suddenly it’s Butch & Sundance against the Bolivians. Jack leaps on a semi and escapes but Tony is caught. Jack calls Larry to inform him of the latest events. Amidst more gunfire, a chopper swoops down and airlifts the bioweapon out. Unfortunately, when Jack was doing something or other in the back of the semi (it’s night, it was dark), one canister was breached and he may have been exposed. Now we’re talking! Best line: Jack’s, “Don’t even think about going for your weapon.”

24 : 9 p.m. - 10 p.m.

24. 7.14. When he looks for Chloe, Morris is told the FBI has her in holding because she’s been arrested. Jack calls the suspended Renee and reiterates that he’s being framed. He manages to grab a frame from the hospital surveillance camera of the hit man who killed Burnett and sends it to Renee. She identifies him as John Quinn who works for Starkwood defense consultants. Senator Mayer would know if Quinn worked with Juma. Jack heads off the see Mayer who I thought was the bad guy, but it appears to be someone else who actually said “the loss of one soul is tragic to me” followed by stating how “collateral damage” was different. Larry figures out Renee talked with Jack and has her records checked. They trace calls to a stolen phone. She’s put in holding. Not the same holding as Chloe. Mayer listens to Jack’s reasoning and allows him access to his files.

Janis can’t decrypt Renee’s files. Only Chloe has the power to do that. Larry informs Morris that he needs to help them find Jack or Chloe will be prosecuted for colluding and given a fifteen year sentence. No slouch, Morris easily figures out the override codes and decrypts the files. Instead of answering the question of where did Renee send Jack, I’d like to know why the FBI hasn’t hired Morris. Jack discovers an accident victim alleged that Starkwood was involved in assassination plots and attempts to acquire weapons of mass destruction, particularly bio weapons. Juma tested a pathogen on a village in Sengala. Chances are Starkwood has the same weapon and intends to use it.

The metro police knock on Mayer’s door. Knowing the police won’t listen to him, since they haven’t for the previous six seasons, Jack plans to run. Mayer advises him to trust the people he’s protecting. Trust isn’t Jack’s greatest asset, but he tries. Unfortunately, it was Quinn, not the police, at the door. Quinn guns down Mayer and Jack makes a run for it. He cuts his hand so Quinn has a blood trail to follow to a shack. When Quinn goes inside, Jack tips the shack over. Quinn jumps out the window and they fight. I believe before dying, Quinn said the weapons were already there. Thinking Jack killed Mayer, Larry orders him to be shot on sight. Jack calls Tony and arranges a meeting. Best line: Jack’s “If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead already.”

Go ahead you can laugh

Some Pilkington quotes from The Guide to Philosophy:

• Because I haven’t been sleeping that well (re: how does he know this isn’t a dream?)
  
• If I was dreaming all this, I reckon my boiler would have been fixed ages ago.
  
• You don’t want fun all in one go.
  
• You’ve got the problem gene in your head.
  
• The problem hole is a standard size on everyone.
  
• You’ve got a load of skittles. I’ve got a big cream egg. (The difference between Ricky’s problems and his.)
  
• The problem ball is growing.
  
• I was emptying my worry hole.
  
• That me name was Brett (re: the one thing he would want to change.)
  
• I kept forgetting I was Brett ‘cause I wasn’t answering, so they went back to Karl.
  
• The thing with numbers is, there’s loads of ‘em.
  
• You could rule numbers out of your life if you wanted to.
  
• Anything over 3, they say we’re just being greedy.

24 : 8 p.m. - 9 p.m.

24. 7.13. Conveniently for the good guys, there are five canisters (oh, canisters again!) of CH-4 or similar in the lockdown room. Jack figures he can make a run for it and cause an explosion. Mrs President asks for the release of the other hostages. Juma’s semantics may need help. Depending on your definition of release, he does release one. Mrs President is forced to read a statement. Bill overhears that Juma is not acting alone. Jack will need to find out who on the outside is helping so Bill runs for the CH-4 and causes the explosion. A shootout ensues. Juma orders the hostages killed but Jack corners him, planning to bring him in. Juma moves and Jack brings him down. And Bill is honored by the silent clock. With his hair emitting a golden halo this season, I figured he was already halfway to the angels. Sad, sad…

Mrs President brings FD Olivia on as an advisor, or a political liability since she leaked damaging personal information during the campaign. Larry suspends Renee for going behind his back and talking Ethan Kanin into allowing Jack access to Burnett. Meyer has twelve possible targets programmed in. He sends hit man Quinn to the hospital. Quinn kills a patient so the nurses will have to leave their station and he can block their computer monitor. A pen drops from the ceiling in Burnett’s room. The gas it gives off renders Jack unconscious long enough for Quinn to slit Burnett’s throat. When Jack comes to, he jumps up in the ceiling to escape, then he calls Larry to inform him he’s being set up by someone wanting to distract the FBI. The threat isn’t over. Best line: “The rules don’t apply to you anymore.”

24 : 7 p.m. - 8 p.m.

24. 7.12. The frogmen swim across the Potomac and quite easily gain access to the White House from underground. Burnett is transferred to Kennedy memorial. Jack wants Bill to go to him and get information but Bill doesn’t think that would be prudent. Renee runs mighty fast. Not fast enough. Dubaku’s son reaches her. She informs him that Juma killed his father to stop him from talking. He doesn’t buy that story. They fight. As he’s about to strangle her, he’s shot from behind. Renee tells the FBI where the target is and they lockdown the WH. But too slow. Juma’s men are headed straight for Mrs President. Bill puts on her tracker and heads west with it, drawing them away from her. He’s seen and taken hostage with some other unknowns. Aaron and the First Daughter look for a way past the hostiles. Jack and Mrs President are sealed off in lockdown. Agents move in but Juma claims he has the president and they must evacuate or she will die.

They can’t risk that Juma is lying. Juma’s men think they can open the lockdown door in fifteen minutes because they have access codes. They don’t know Jack. He finds a toolbox and disables the door. Juma calls Mayer. They don’t have the shipment yet. What shipment? Suddenly I’m lost. If they find FD, Mrs President will have to open the door. Aaron knows Juma is bluffing and hopes to get out a signal but he’s shot. He sends FD to a security kit where she can signal code green out the window. She’s grabbed before she finishes. Juma spots the camera in the chandelier and threatens to kill FD if Mrs President doesn’t come out. Jack doesn’t want to open the door, but relents. Best line: “Stress is the fertilizer of creativity.”

24: 6 p.m. - 7 p.m.

24. 7.11. Code blue in ICU. I take it there’s no hospital security. Again. An unidentified man was with Dubaku before his sudden heart attack. Jack calls Chloe and asks her to delete Ryan Burnett’s name from the list or they won’t get the information in time. Janis interrupts her. Burnett’s trying to extend the window. If they recess the hearings, Jack’s subpoena expires, and Mrs President can pardon him. Senator Mayer won’t hear of it. Jack renders Bill unconscious so he can have a little chat with Burnett. Janis plays her boss a call between Chloe and Jack that implicates Burnett. Jack’s chat with Burnett includes a lot of high voltage tasering and the risk of becoming paralyzed but Burnett insists he doesn’t know the target. Mrs President pages Jack to stand down. He shoots out the intercom but the door is blasted through before Burnett gives in.

Mrs President offers Burnett full immunity if he talks. Otherwise, he’ll be charged with treason and she has no problem with the death penalty. On her own, Renee follows the soldiers to a warehouse basement. She calls Larry to inform him she saw Juma with the soldiers who she then follows to a boat, giving us new respect for her swimming abilities. Janis loses Renee’s signal. Glub glub. When the scuba geared guys jump off the boat, Renee quickly finds their plans include targeting the White House. She’s seen by Dubaku’s son, I think it was, and quickly dives in the water. He follows in a motor boat.

24 : 5 p.m. - 6 p.m.

24. 7.10. Marika tries to play dumb but Dubaku shoves her around and takes her phone. He quickly tries to cover his tracks by saying his enemies showed her lies when he actually brought peace to Sangala. He’d still like her to accompany him. Whether to play the hero or martyr, she does. Jack and Renee are released but lose Marika’s phone signal when Dubaku crushes it. Somehow they get a make on the car. Copy that. Big car chase ensues. When it looks like Dubaku will escape, Marika attacks him and the car crashes. Jack easily takes out the driver and pulls Dubaku from the car which is about to explode. Jack begrudgingly helps Renee drag Marika out of the car, but to no avail. She’s a martyr. Dubaku’s critical. Jack has him brought around with epinephrine. Talk or he’ll make his son suffer. He has a list of names. Interestingly, he carries it with him in a plate just beneath his ribs. Who doesn’t? Jack extracts the digital storage device.

The device has an auto erase function. Chloe will have just one chance to download. Sean realizes he and Erika’s names will be in the database. If he crashes the server, they’ll have time to reformat and she can configure parameters or whatnot. When it’s accomplished, Sean shoots Erika. Chloe figures someone deliberately crashed the system. Sean claims Erika followed him up to the server room and shot him so he grabbed her weapon in defense. He didn’t mean to kill her. Chloe miraculously recovers the file, as only she can. Sean has a sudden errand but the FBI is quick and he doesn’t get away, but starts crying for his lawyer. Bill goes to bat for Jack with Mrs President. Tony has a lead for Jack. There will be another attack, target unknown, by Juma. The window opens at 1900 hours. Ryan Burnett, who works for the confusingly named Senator Mayer, is involved in its planning. Best line: Jack’s, “You ever pull your weapon on me again, you better intend to use it.”

24: 4 p.m. - 5 p.m.

24. 7.9. Information is not to be disseminated. Jack calls Mrs President to say the FH has been transported to the hospital. Dubaku is trying to leave the country, with an exit strategy already in place. Bill wants Chloe cleared to help the FBI. Dubaku tells Marika his visa expired and immigration caught him. He must leave tonight, but invites her to go with. Her sister can join them later. Mrs Vosser’s anguish bothers Renee who should feel better knowing Mr Vosser was a killer and a traitor. In a weird scene, Morris, with son Prescott in the back seat, drops off Chloe at the FBI. Will she ever see them again?

Here is where the cat sat on my notes and things become even sketchier.

Mrs President has Aaron contact the First Daughter. Rosa rats out Dubaku. Our heroes want Marika to help them find out where he wants to meet. She doesn’t know, since he’s sending a car and driver for her. They can use her cell phone as a transponder. Janis is suspicious of Chloe who briefly loses the tracking grid because someone/Janis was in the system. The metro police place a road block around Jack and Renee. Federal warrants for their arrest were issued by the FBI/Sean. Dubaku is tipped off about Marika. Best line: “Life gets ugly, innocent people get hurt.”

24: 3 p.m. - 4 p.m.

24: 7.8. The First Husband is locked in the trunk of a car. I hate when that happens. This was a few weeks ago, so I’m trying to remember if he overheard that Dubaku was behind the First Son’s death or how we viewers were informed. Mrs President wants an explanation from Jack, Bill and Renee. They say using the CIP device as bait was necessary to get Dubaku. He has names of government betrayers so they can’t involve the FBI or Homeland Security. Dubaku calls. He has FH. Mrs President will meet his demands or he’ll send FH back once piece at a time. Mrs President feels she can’t give in. Jack offers to find FH.

Renee inexplicably trusts Larry Moss and enlists him to help find out who Gedge was in contact with. Sean doesn’t like being kept out of the loop. While Jack finds/crashes into Edward Vossler, Renee goes to Vossler’s house. She threatens to off his wife and child. There’s a green grocer with a staircase in back, Vossler offers, but then tries to one-up Jack so Jack must kill him in self defense. Marika’s sister Rosa doesn’t trust “Samuel.” She checks with immigration and finds out he doesn’t exist. Marika decides to break up with him that night. At the grocer’s Jack and Renee exchange hand signals. In a shootout, the FH is shot. Jack yells for an ambulance. Best come back line: “The rules are what make us better.” “Not today!”

I know what I like

Pilkingtonisms from "Guide to the Arts":

• It’s just something for your eyes to look at (art)
  
• I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually.
  
• That’s what art is to me: fill in a gap that otherwise would have naught in it.
  
• At the end of the day, if everyone wants one, then it’s gotta be good.
  
• I haven’t got any hair to comb so I don’t look in the mirror as much as the normal person.
  
• If Suzanne’s sat next to me, I tend to talk to her through the mirror.
  
• There’s no neck usage going on.
  
• It’s like there’s more people in the room.
  
• I can see everything in that room that’s going on in there without moving my head. Stephen Hawking would be well happy.
  
• If the flat’s a mess, it’s a mess twice.
  
• Why is it always a yak on every wall? (cavemen paintings)
  
• Why can’t they just do a full person? (statues)
  
• I don’t whistle that much I think ‘cause I’m fed up most the time in London.
  
• Me brain can come up with words that I don’t normally say: squirm.
  
• To make the classics live on, I’m surprised someone hasn’t added to ‘em.
  
• Nothing’s hard if you’re given it as a kid.
  
• A hobby shouldn’t take up a whole corner of the room. (piano)
  
• Just tell me what happened. I don’t want a weather forecast. (poetry)

It's only living, it don't matter at all

From the Gervais, Merchant, Pilkington e-book: "Guide to Natural History." Some of Pilkie's quotes:

• A spider won’t be unlocking any mysteries.
  
• It’s like having an old woman as a neighbor: she never goes out, she doesn’t bother you, let her be.
  
• Look at the stuff that’s being invented now: the Frisbee.
  
• There must’ve been some alien involved here.
  
• A computer chip, where’s that come from?
  
• Your eyes are what comes up with a lot of thoughts.
  
• If you look half decent to the human race, they’ll take care of you.
  
• Nature chucks up odd things, doesn’t it? (looking at Steve Merchant)
  
• If we ate polar bears, we wouldn’t be short of ‘em… What’s a polar bear doing? Sat on a block of ice, floating about.
  
• You had your day, it didn’t work out.
  
• Them two should never even meet. How did that disagreement happen? (horse & frog)
  
• I mean, who knows what’s gonna happen?

24: 2 p.m. - 3 p.m.

24. 7.7. PM & wife are taken to the Router Building to meet Dubaku who demands they give Juma names of fellow traitors. Janis (who can live without Sean’s negativity today) somehow notices the next target might be Kidron, Ohio’s Boyd Chemical which makes insecticide. Renee enters Router & informs security she’s on official FBI business. I found it weird no one noticed her talking to herself. She helps the guys enter the building. Chloe steers them to some floor panels they can boogie on through. Janis phones the Ohio plant and speaks with John Brunner about possible breaches in the area. Are they having problems? Are they ever. Three safety vales won’t re-set. They initiate on-site emergency procedures but can’t shut down the place. The pressure builds and in 15 minutes 3,000 gallons of insecticide will be released in Kidron’s atmosphere. The workers are evacuated except Brunner who will try release the chemical in the room where he is. Although he’s wearing protective gear, he doesn’t seem confident about it.

Dubaku sees Tony & Jack and decides to attack a different location. The breach closes but Brunner doesn’t get out in time. Bummer, Brunner. Following a shootout with Dubaku’s men, PM and Wife are safe but Dubaku escapes and threatens some guy named Latham’s family. Latham must help, but for his efforts, is blown up. Mrs President is informed that First Husband is pursuing their son’s death and is missing. One of Brian Gedge’s accomplices arrives at Sam’s apartment, trapping FH. Since when can Chloe only do one thing at a time? Jack believes they need help from the government. Bill agrees and has PM call Mrs President. Tony bows out so he’s not arrested. It’s not that he doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of his actions, it’s that he wants Dubaku caught first. Uh huh. Dubaku and some chick named Maria arrange a dinner date. Best line from Janis: “Normally I don’t allow people to call me honey but we can talk about that later.”

A hoopy frood

Which Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Character are You?

You are FORD PREFECT. You are a relaxed, hoopy sort of frood when it comes to big mind-boggling things like life, the universe, and everything. You are not, as many people think, an out-of-work actor from Guildford, but rather an alien from somewhere around Betelgeuse, and a writer for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. You love towels, drinking, girls, and maybe also the ape-descendant you rescued. One never knows with you.

24: 1 p.m. - 2 p.m.

24. 7.6. Sean may be hasty in presuming or hoping that Renee is dead. Chloe and Bill magically find/uncover her and revive her with a shot of adrenaline. They warn her not to contact the compromised FBI. Jack asks how Emerson sprang Tony from CTU. He says Christopher Anderson, who I just about remember, missed the artery on purpose. Tony has to shoot Emerson to stop the deal. Jack explains to the PM and wife that they need their help and says they won’t let Dubaku torture them. Let’s all laugh. The PM is against being used as a pawn but wife wants some excitement after all these years.

Dubaku phones Mrs President so she can witness a plane hit another plane or flock of birds. Seagulls, perhaps. She must withdraw forces from Sangala or more will die. Why does Joe from the cabinet appear to be Tony’s twin? PM wonders who Chloe is and why she’s putting a transmitter on his teeth. She says she’s a stay a home mom. During the diamonds exchanged for PM, Jack saves Tony from being shot. Let’s put that behind us. When Samantha returns to her apartment, Brian stabs her to death. He tries to hang First Husband from the rafters but the paralyzing drug wears off. FH starts to strangle him and they fall. Brian dies. Dubaku targets a small town in Ohio to destroy next.

24: 12 p.m. - 1 p.m.

7.5. The FBI calls back Renee but she won’t go. Jack pumps ammonia something into the safe room. Although PM and wife try to tell themselves their cause is more important than they are, she wimps out and opens the door. The attorney general’s office has questions for Janis but she insists she’s not involved at all. Jack frisks Renee, which we’re sure he didn’t enjoy. Emerson checks with his source at the FBI to find out how much she knows. With is wife safely landed, Sean is once again friendly with Erika. The FH meets with Roger’s friend Brian who says he has documents to prove Roger was murdered. Brian takes FH to Sam’s apartment, drugs him with tetradyazine or similar, with plans to kill him and bring Samantha there and kill her too.

Emerson learns Renee is extraneous. They take her to an abandoned construction site to kill her, which Emerson orders Jack to do. He tells her he can get her out alive, but then makes it appear he shoots her and kicks her in a ditch. He hopes plastic tarp will be good enough cover but Emerson demands Jack and Tony bury her. With only half an inch of dirt covering her face, I guess we were supposed to be worried she’ll suffocate. Did the writers not see what happened to Nikki & Paolo on Lost?

24: 11 a.m. - 12 p.m.

7.4. Alan Tanner, confidante of Tony, is out of surgery. Mrs President doesn’t want to negotiate with terrorists. Tony explains to Jack that David Emerson paid off someone at CTU to inject him with something to make him appear dead, but later revived him. Of course. Emerson targeted former employees with grievances against the government and Tony worked for him, which he must pretend to do again to retrieve the device. Sean snaps at an FBI co-worker named Erika who appears confused. Emerson doesn’t think it’s worth the risk to include Jack and wants Tony to kill him. Jack fights the guards. He’s offended because he came there to do a job, not to be double crossed. Emerson warns him, by killing an employee who doesn’t, “Fall in line or you’re gone.”

Sean impersonates an Agent Moss and arranges for his wife’s flight to be moved to the head of the queue to land. Juma’s troops advance on a refugee camp. The Sangala PM wants help/weapons. Mrs President is reminded that “a superpower has to act on its own interests.” Emerson’s gang plans to pick up a package/person: the PM. Roger Taylor (still not the Queen drummer), discovered bank records that proved trading with Sangala. The accounts were traced to a senior member of the administration. On questioning, Tanner scoffs at Renee and demands his lawyers who Janis stalls long enough for Renee to pull out his ventilator. I’m not comfortable with that either, but Renee learns Tony’s group plans to abduct the PM who is locked in a safe room of reinforced concrete. As if that will hold Jack back. Best line: “You have enough to think about without being burdened with details.”

24 : 10 a.m. - 11 a.m.

7.3. Tony, in custody, claims he’s working for the Juma regime which demands the US get out or stay out of Sangala. To save himself time and pain, Jack wants Tony to explain how he’s still alive. More important, why would he want to aid a genocide? Jack about strangles him for information, which turns out to be “deep sky,” their previous code to call CTU. Since it’s been disbanded, Jack calls Bill who appears to have colored his hair to the point of achieving a halo glow. Tony is actually working undercover for Bill, though now there’s the problem of Tony not being able to control the CIP device as they planned. They need him back undercover. And hello there Chloe who commends Jack for looking good on C-Span.

Samantha, former girlfriend of Roger Taylor (not the drummer from Queen,) calls the First Husband. Janis discovers Sean’s involvement in something. He claims he wanted to see if his wife’s plane was involved. Janis deletes his name from the evidence. Jack renders Renee unconscious as I wonder why Bill and Chloe didn’t tell Jack what was going on to being with. Jack springs Tony, who’s grateful. Jack’s “just glad I didn’t break your neck.” Janis notices someone has accessed the FBI’s surveillance system and boots them out, so Chloe loses her feed. Tony jumps from the parking lot to Bill’s van. Pursued, Jack has to hot wire a car and drive over the building side to reach them. Why do it the easy way? I’m still wondering what “cycling frequencies” means. Best line: “The government poisons everything in its path.”

24: 9 a.m. - 10 a.m.

7.2. Looks like someone working for the FBI tipped off Tony. Anyone suspect Janis? The screens for the Eastern Quadrant are locked. Probably important. At JFK planes are on a collision course and everyone holds their breath until Tony orders one up before they crash. Next time it won’t be just a warning, he warns them. The sniper hides in the basement of the Columbia building. Tony sends FBI agent or similarly dressed person possibly named Lennart to help him escape. But forgot it’s in the details. Jack notices the dude’s shoes are different from the others & clues in Renee. They intend to handle it on their own. This should go well.

The First Gentleman (Mrs President’s Mr) hires a private investigator to check out his son’s death since he refuses to believe it was a suicide. Samantha, the former fiancée, tells FG there was money in an offshore account. Not her money, but her aunt’s. Hiding from the IRS. Why this is important is unclear in my notes, as are the notes that follow. I might have been half asleep at this point. Tony’s priority is the CIP device. He’s on a boat and plans to chopper out with the device, but Jack stops him. As Shakespeare said: They fight. The device gets away. Most don’t tell that to Chloe line: “It’s just technology.”

24: 8 a.m. - 9 a.m.

7.1. Some rogue group kidnaps Michael Latham (whoever he is when he’s at home) and forces him to make a CIP device (whatever that is) work. Jack tries to avoid answering questions at a senate hearing with the old “that’s classified info” trick. He adapted and broke procedure (i.e. used extreme interrogation methods) to achieve results and protect innocent lives. Renee Walker interrupts the hearing. Jack is needed to help with a homeland security problem. It seems Tony Almeda isn’t dead after all. He is, though, blaming the government for losing Michelle.

Jack and Renee follow a forged access card lead from old CTU files to find Gabriel Schecter. They “get behind the operation with both shoulders,” whatever that means. Schecter won’t talk until Jack’s ready to “break procedure,” but shots blast through the windows and Schecter’s taken out. Jack and Renee pursue the assailant in the building across the street. The Sangala subpot continues to bore. Juma must be stopped. Mrs President ponders what to do. The Feds notice a 767 has lost control. Tony, with CIP device, orders a plane to lower altitude. Line most Chloe-like from FBI’s Janis: “Most people don’t like sarcasm.”

Don't go imagining that time is medicine

The Big Three (Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and round-headed Karl Pilkington) recently released a new podcast or ibook or similar called Medicine. Keeping up with Karl's quote gems, here's some to add:

• What did he say? (wondering what he just said)
• If your brain was in your foot, it’d take ages to say anything.
• “Smallpox, we’ll keep it just in case”? Get rid of it!
• There are not tough babies anymore.
• Sometimes I don’t know whether I feel well.
• If an idea isn’t daft, it isn’t worth thinking about. (what Einstein might have said)
• If you can’t get through the door, I’m not seeing you (re: fatties getting special treatment at the doctor’s)
• She rattles, she carries that many pills, like a maraca (re: Auntie Norah)
• With all fiction comes the future.
• A problem solved is a problem caused.