Your mother was a hamster!
Or head on over to the Luther Insulter for some creative gems from centuries past. This morning I got:
"Your words are so foolishly and ignorantly composed that I cannot believe you understand them."
From Explanations of the Ninety-Five Theses, pg. 87 of Luther's Works, Vol. 31.
Hit the "Insult me again" button over & over for more.
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