The Universe and Me

Friday, February 29, 2008

Corollary to the toast always lands butter side down:

The dropped library book pocket always lands glue side down.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Lost: Eggtown

Locke takes breakfast and reading material to a captive Ben in the basement but receives only taunting in return. Kate asks to talk with Miles but Locke’s regime is not a democracy. She intercepts Hurley taking Miles lunch. He’s more than happy to let her waitress since “That dude creeps me out.” Yeah, me too. Miles (Bruce Lee from the freighter) wants to talk with Ben. Over Dharma wine in a box, Kate tries to enlist Sawyers help. He runs straight to Locke for a game of backgammon. Or to delay Locke so Kate can nab Miles. She takes him to Ben, gives them one minute to talk.

Miles knows who Ben works for and will tell him he’s already dead in exchange for 3.2 million. Call it blackmail, call it extortion. Ben has two days to come up with the money even though his “present situation is a little bit restricted.” Locke finds them all chatting and banishes Kate. Sawyer unbanishes her and promises to keep her safe. She informs him she’s not pregnant. His relief gives her an excuse to split but he knows she’ll bounce back. Locke places a live grenade in Miles’ mouth. He’s responsible for the wellbeing of the island and won’t let Miles jeopardize that. At some point during this mess, Dan calls the boat. Jack and Juliet want to make sure their friends arrived safely. What friends? Regina on the boat thought the chopper was with them.

In the flash forward, Kate’s up against the People on charges of fraud, arson, theft, murder, etc. And she has the guts to plead not guilty. She refuses to allow her lawyer to use her son at the trail. Her mother’s going to testify against her. Or not. She backs out after gibbering about the doctors giving her six months to live four years ago. Them’s some good doctors. On the witness stand, Jack testifies he and 7 others crash landed in the water and Kate miraculously took care of them, even though two didn’t survive. He says he doesn’t love her anymore. Or he does and wants to go for coffee. But he doesn’t want to see the baby. After being granted a ten year probation, Kate goes home to relieve the sitter who has the strangest line of the episode, saying, “I’m so glad you’re back.” Free might have been a better word choice since she almost went up the river for life, not just down to the Piggly Wiggly for milk. The baby in question turns out to be Aaron. So where’s Claire? Truest line of the episode: “You’re more lost than you ever were.”

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Lost : The economist

Not caring for Miles’ bad attitude and nickname giving is Sawyer’s domain. Frank promises to fly Sayid off the island in exchange for Charlotte. Sounds like Sayid will try diplomacy with Locke rather than shooting him, unlike is flash forwards where we see him playing a friendly round of golf with the Spanish Alfred Molina. Had Letterman been there, he could have said, “No wagering please.” When Sayid mentions being one of the Oceanic 6, all bets are off and bang bang, Señor Molina, whoever he was, is dead.

While Sayid, Kate and Irascible Miles search for the Locke Gang, Juliet retrieves Desmond who demands to know why Naomi had the picture of him and Pen. Frank didn’t hang around with Naomi in the cafeteria since she was senior management. The possibly schizoid or at least bipolar Dan performs some experiments with a tripod and beacon which proves “far more than weird.” I don’t know what that was about, but am sure it’s been dissected in detail by the Internet People, since it involved the Numbers. Locke can’t find Jacob’s movable cabin. Sawyer wishes he could send a certain little piggy (Ben) to market. Hurley didn’t sign up for hostages but Locke feels they’re beyond compromise and he’s the one making the decisions. “Is that gonna be a problem for ya?”

Soon Sayid’s Gang find Hurley tied up in an Other house. He claims Locke left him but it’s really a trap. Sorry dude. Sawyer guards Kate, wondering why she wants to return home when nothing awaits them. He’d rather stay on the island and play house. Locke and Sayid agree the Boat People are liars and they need to find out who they are and what they want. Ben’s spy on the boat is a secret. Sayid ends up returning to Jack and Frank with Charlotte. He traded Miles for her. Dan warns Frank to follow the exact same bearing when flying the chopper. Roger that.

Back in the future, Sayid chats up Elsa in a Berlin café. There’s discussion of his Employer and her Employer and dinner and whatnot. Sayid mentions that people will ask what happened to her Employer and she realizes Sayid used her to get to him. Sayid tries to explain her Employer is on some list and not an economist but she shoots him in the shoulder. He grabs a gun and kills her, which he feels bad about, if that’s any consolation. She appears to be wearing the same bracelet as Naomi. For help with the bullet, Sayid goes to what might be a veterinary clinic and explains to his Employer that Elsa was trying to get info on who he works for. And that would be… Ben. So, is he working for Ben in the present?

Until the next episode, check out Lost : the Rock Opera.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

And I'm stranded here with my empty basket

When you need to make a grocery list, check out this online helper at Working Mom's Grocery List . While it's a convenient and quick way for busy Mom's to print out just what they're looking for, non-Mom's can benefit too. All you have to do is check which items you need that week or day and then submit them and a form will be generated for you to print out and take to the store. For the courageous, also see about their printable Working Mom's Coupons. But if "buy 1, get 1 free" doesn't mean I can buy just one for free, count me confused.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Sung to the tune of "I Fought the Law and the Law Won"

With apologies to Bobby Fuller:

Breaking up ice chunks in the bitter cold
I fought the driveway and the driveway won
I fought the driveway and the driveway won

I needed a snowblower but I had none
I fought the driveway and the driveway won
I fought the driveway and the driveway won

My back is aching and I feel so bad, this is no longer fun
The city plow throwing me an extra 4 feet of ice makes me mad
I fought the driveway and the driveway won
I fought the driveway and the driveway won

Why are people out, why is anything open?
I fought the driveway and the driveway won
I fought the driveway and the driveway won

My fingers have frostbite, this is no longer fun
I fought the driveway and the driveway won
I fought the driveway and the driveway won

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Lost: Confirmed dead

At some point in the not too distant past, a sonar team stumbles on the sunken Oceanic airplane off the coast of Bali. Physicist Daniel from Mass seems upset about the news, yet ends up in a mysterious Gang of 4 in a helicopter, being pushed out onto the island during an electrical storm or similar. Kate and Jack see him and his precautionary gun. He admits their rescue is not his primary objective. Cohort Miles, a ghostbuster or soil sample collector, knows they killed Naomi because she used a code over the phone. Kate quickly rats out Locke. Miles is more concerned that the island doesn’t scan right until Jack informs him the Lostaway Calvary has guns trained on them. A signal coming towards them turns out to be Vincent, making Kate realize Locke has Chopper Gal. They find the pilot Frank who landed safely, though. He studied the plane manifest enough to know there was no Juliet Burke on flight 815 and demands she tell him where Ben is. Curiously, he was supposed to pilot the Oceanic flight that fateful day. So why didn’t he?

Hurley starts to tell Locke the cabin is in a different direction. But never mind, dude. Locke receives his orders from Walt, only taller. “Like a giant?” He didn’t ask any follow up questions because he’d be dead if he still had a kidney. Ben wonders why Sawyer thinks Kate would chose a lowlife scam artist over a fist class surgeon, causing Sawyer to go ballistic on him. They find Charlotte who has already encountered the Dharma sign on a polar bear’s collar at an archaeological dig in Tunisia. She may have encountered R2D2 too. Ben shoots her when she says she didn’t drop in to rescue them. Luckily, since she still has two kidneys, she thought to wear a bullet proof vest. Ben begs Locke not to kill him since he has answers. Not to what the monster is, but he does know the backgrounds of all four chopper gangers and know they’re a threat. Plus he knows they’re after him because he’s planted a man on their boat. Line of the episode: “What’s wrong with you people?” The show is only 60 minutes with commercials. There’s so not enough time to answer that.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

From the: How lazy do we have to be? files

I'd heard of the robotic roomba type vacuum cleaners for carpets and floors indoors. Yesterday while reading This Old House, I saw a blurb about robotic lawn mowers. You set them outside and they do all the work for you, providing you have the cash to buy one. Sadly, I don't. If you Google robotic lawn mowers, you can get an idea of their prices and what each type is capable of. They're quiet, lightweight, batterey powered, so all you have to do set up a perimeter (much like on 24) and press the Go button. Other features:

A cutting method much healthier for the lawn.
Valuable nutrients return to the lawn. (Grass is cut into very small clippings buried in lawn roots where they decompose and act like natural fertilizer, giving you a better looking lawn and no need to collect and remove clippings.)
Trims up to walkway edges and around flower beds and swimming pools.
Identifies trees, rocks and obstacles.
Environmentally friendly (No Gas, No Oil, No Emissions)
They mulch better than a traditional mower due to a Triple-Chamber-Mulching system.

Check out the Robomower
And the Lawnbott

Crazily enough, something called an Aquabot also exists. This is a pool cleaner vaccum that automatcially cleans your pool.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Lost : the beginning of the end

I’m not sure where we left off but it doesn’t matter since I didn’t understand what was going on back then anyway. Some guy from the possible rescue boat (George?) calls and wants to speak to Naomi. She’s gone “to get some firewood,” a euphemism for having a knife thrown in her back by Locke. But wait, she’s not quite dead and has crawled away. Jack and Danielle go looking for her but lose her trail almost as fast as Jack loses the phone to Kate who embarks on her own search. She’s tackled by Naomi falling from a tree onto her. Naomi claims she was only trying to help rescue them. Kate reminds her that Locke acted on his own. When the Boat People call, Naomi lies and says she was wounded by a branch. She helps them change their tracking frequency, then dies.

Hurley sees Desmond/Scotty return with the canoe but no Charlie. Bummer, dude. Later Hurley stumbles on the shack of whatever the Head Honcho’s name was (Joseph? Jonah?) but it may not really be there. Locke finds the disoriented Hurley and reminds him Charlie can’t have died for nothing. Then Jack comes along and clocks Locke a good one and grabs his gun. Locke’s sure Jack won’t shoot him but Jack pulls the trigger. Good thing the gun wasn’t loaded. Locke still asserts that he acted in everyone’s best interest while Jack thinks he blew up every chance they had to get off the island. Locke’s going to the barracks where he’ll have some security from the Boat People. Hurley goes with, as do Claire, Sayid and some others.

In the flash forwards, Jack watches the police chase a vintage Camero on the news. Turns out Hurley is driving. He’s cornered and tries to make a run for it, despite his weight. Then he tries for lenience by reminding the officers he’s one of the Oceanic 6. We guess Kate and Jack are two of those six, leaving three Lostaways who probably escaped. But who? Ana Lucia’s partner questions Hurley but has a lot to learn from Jack Bauer about the fine art of interrogation. Hurley claims he never met Ana and hallucinates he’s at the submerged hatch.

Relief should come from being tossed in the nut house but first he’s visited by an Oceanic attorney who feels terrible and wants to upgrade him to a better facility. Since his business card is at home, Hurley says, “Then we’re done, dude.” Later Hurley sees Charlie who’s dead but also there and tries to convince Hurley, “They need you.” Finally Jack visits. Hurley wonders if he’s checking to see if he was going to tell. Tell what? He apologizes for going with Locke and says “It” (the island?) wants them to go back. Jack’s vehemence against it turns around in the next few months, whereupon he contacts Kate.