The Universe and Me

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Return to wildlife


Welcome May and Gus!

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Lost: Live together, die alone 2

Lost. 2.24. Charlie takes Eko to the dynamite, then thinks twice about it and warns Locke that Eko’s going to blow the blast doors. Desmond’s not worried. He’s sure the doors will hold, like he’s been through this before. Back up to Desmond’s flashback where Kelvin is working on the ultraviolet map beneath a brown stain (aka Radzinsky) on the ceiling. The magnetic field is definitely not a joke. At some point in their hatch time together, Desmond finds Kelvin drunk in the lower catacombs, muttering over a failsafe system complete with key. The Incident was a leak of electromagnetic electricity/energy which now builds up until the button is pushed to discharge it. Whereupon it begins building up all over again. Or something like that.

One day, as Kelvin is preparing for an excursion topside, Desmond sees a tear in his yellow suit and doubts the suit’s necessity. He follows Kelvin outside and watches him take off his mask and suit, then go to where he’s hidden the Elizabeth boat. Desmond confronts him about fixing it and/or leaving with it. In an ensuing struggle, Kelvin’s head is hit against a rock and Desmond gives him up for dead. Is he? Who knows. Desmond rushes back to the hatch which is electromagnetically freaking out under a system failure. Lookout for the flying silverware. Back in their current time, Locke shows Desmond the printouts from the Pearl. Desmond finds the system failure happened on September 22 and utters something he probably feared, “I think I crashed your plane.”

Sayid finds the Others camp abandoned and their hatch doors nothing but doors. The Dumpling Gang wanders onto a pile of canisters full of notebooks. Jack sees Sayid’s smoke signal, but it’s too far away, and realizes Michael has deliberately led them off path. Cue the spooky whispers. And tranquilizing darts. The Gang’s taken to an Others pier where Kate mumbles that she knows Zeke/Tom’s beard is fake and he gives up the hillbilly charade. The Deliverance boat pulls up and Fake Henry steps off. He seems to be in charge of these Others, insisting they’re the “good guys.” Walt (whose speciallness was apparently more than the Others bargained for) is in the boat. Fake Henry gives Michael a compass bearing to follow, assuring him they’ll be rescued. And Michael goes. Well, good riddance. This time Walt cares nothing about his dog’s fate. Buh bye. Fake Henry sends Hurley back with orders to tell the Lostaways to stay away. Kate, Sawyer and Jack? If there’s a plan, we’ll learn about it next season.

While all this is happening, Locke completely loses his faith. Desmond can’t convince him the experiment may really have been the men in the Pearl, not the Swan. Quoting “Strawberry Fields Forever,” Locke says “nothing is real” and smashes the computer monitor. The countdown reaches zero and the magnetic field can’t hold. Desmond decides it’s time to use the failsafe key. Locke admits he was wrong. But about what? Wrong to think he was wrong? Wrong to give up faith? I’m not sure we’ll see him or Eko again to find out. Charlie, though, miraculously survives the fireball and the washer/dryer Dalek-like attack and nonchalantly turns up on the beach to snuggle with Claire. In what appeared to be a commercial, two Portuguese guys’ chess game is interrupted by a signal bleeping. They give Desmond’s gal Penny a call to tell her they’ve found him or it. Best line: Charlie’s “I’ll see myself out.” Next: a summer of speculation galore!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Lost: Live together, die alone 1

Lost. 2.23. Jack, Sawyer and Sayid are kind to the female viewers and swim out to the boat to find Captain Jack Sparrow. Oh bugger. No, it’s a drunken Desmond. I saw that coming. The Desmond part, not the drunken part. He’s been sailing for 2 ½ weeks but ended up right back at the island and is convinced they’re stuck in a snow globe. They should be so lucky. In his flashback, he’s released from jail in Scotland, I believe. If it’s raining, it must be Scotland. Enter his girlfriend’s father with the previously mentioned last name Widmore. He made sure his daughter Penelope didn’t receive Des’s love letters. She’s set to marry someone else and Des is to stay away. Later on Desmond meets Libby in a café. She’s so friendly, or nuts, or freaked out about her hideous wig, that she offers him her late husband’s boat for his sailing race around the world. A storm at sea shipwrecks Desmond onto Crap Island where he’s dragged by what appeared to be several people in yellow suits down into the hatch. There we see only Kelvin who enlists him as button partner. As for the orientation film, Kelvin tells Des that former button pusher Radzinsky “made some edits.” Hmmm.

As for the Lostaways: Sayid decides to sail the boat to the Others camp and scout it out. Once there, he’ll send a message of black smoke to Jack and the Apple Dumpling Gang. Jin and Sun offer to go with to help him with the boat. On the way, they pass the remains of a statue: a big foot with four toes. Locke tries to convince Eko not to be a slave, but to allow the countdown to reach zero. Eko locks out Locke. Locke informs Desmond about the Pearl hatch saying the Swan hatch was a psychological experiment. Desmond knows how to fake a lockdown and does so to keep Eko from reaching the button. Eko crawls back up the hatch and sees the quarantine on its lid. He enlists Charlie’s help. The Gang is accosted by a CGI bird that likes Hurley. When Michael tries to shoot it, his gun doesn’t work. Jack tries to act surprised that he forgot to load it, but Michael’s suspicious. Kate realizes the Gang is being followed. She shoots an Other. Another Other escapes. Michael confesses about the list and the murders. His best excuse is he “didn’t have time to think.” Jack appears to be thinking. He has a plan. Best line: “I’ll make the popcorn.” Next: hour 2.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

24: 6-7 a.m.

24. 5.24. I’m watching in disbelief as Jack changes from his Hoodie into a flight suit. And not because he’s going to replace Logan’s helicopter’s co-pilot, which he does with ease. He tasers the Secret Service and orders the pilot to land in an industrial park. Chloe sends Morris with the modified equipment. No pressure, but Jack has only ten minutes, minus commercials, to make Logan confess. Typically, Logan tries to blame the people who work for him for everything that went wrong. He may not know Jack, who has nothing to lose. But in one of the worst moments of the show, Jack wimps out and can’t kill the president who flies off to meet Palmer’s casket.

Martha meets him there but she’s hysterical so he takes her aside and actually slaps her. As if we didn’t hate him enough before. He accuses her of being part of the plan to get Jack on the chopper and threatens to ship her off to an asylum. Martha has accusations of her own and Logan admits everything. Under the radar, Chloe sets up a conference call with the Attorney General. She has a recording between the First Couple from five minutes ago, thanks to Jack placing a listening device/microtransmitter in Logan’s pen. Martha and Mike look on smugly as Logan is escorted out by a federal marshal.

Jack’s informed he has a call from Kim, and is way too tired to be as suspicious as I was at home. It’s not Kim and he’s kidnapped. China has a long memory. They also have a slow boat. Jack’s too valuable to them to kill. But that doesn’t mean he’s going to enjoy any of his ride. Especially since he doesn’t have his purse or his Hoodie of Invisibility. Tsk tsk. No word on the whereabouts of his PDA. Next: the following takes place between the next six or seven months: I try to figure out how you get the pronunciation of Rice-cub out of Rajskub.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

24: 5-6 a.m.

24. 5.23. Brit Hostile is upset over the alliance with Moscow and has taken over the Russian sub that happened to be around because of the day’s earlier treaty signing. CTU picks up a radio beacon from something like a signal tube, I believe they said. It’s a distress signal from petty officer Mickey Rooney, still looking about twelve years old, who survived the gassing in a sealed compartment. Jack instructs Rooney how to viciously kill the guard so the lad can reach the escape hatch and let him and Henderson on board. Henderson sets about manually reversing the launch codes while Jack uses his killer legs to exterminate Brit Hostile.

The launch sequence has been cancelled but Henderson is nowhere in sight. He finds Jack atop the sub, and is ready to kill him because he knows Jack was never going to let him go. Not so fast. The cartridge of the gun Jack gave him is empty. As revenge for Palmer, Tony, Michelle and probably everyone else who died that day, Jack shoots him and then tells CTU that Henderson fired first, making it seem like self defense. With no time to lose on particulars, Jack talks to Chloe privately. He’s going after Logan and needs some field communication equipment modified. Chloe doesn’t think she’s qualified so she brings in a Beverly Hills shoe salesman named Morris who’s up to the task.

Morris arrives at CTU and we find out he’s Morris O’Brien, Chloe’s ex-husband. Huh? Oh, the whiplash. Martha takes Mike to Aaron. And can someone get the poor man a wet wipe? Jack needs a direct confession from Logan but the President is leaving to eulogize Palmer in twenty minutes. Martha will have to stall him. She gives her best Oscar worthy performance of apologizing to her husband and then…and then… oh, it’s too nauseating to contemplate. Especially because the director felt the need for extreme close ups. Best exchange: “I’ll cover you.” “That’s what I’m worried about.” Next: the day’s final hour.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

SpongeVarushka

Take his test and find out what cartoon character you are! Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble? A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well known and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test: Answer all the questions with what describes you best, add up all your points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and look for your results.
1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)
b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)
c) Painting in the park (5 pts.)
d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)
2. What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)
b) Alternative (1 pt.)
c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
d) Country (5 pts.)
e) Pop (3 pts.)
3. What type of movies do you prefer?
a) Comedy (2 pts.)
b) Horror (1 pt.)
c) Musical (3 pts.)
d) Romance (4 pts.)
e) Documentary (5 pts.)
4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?
a) Waiter (4 pts.)
b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
c) Teacher (3 pts.)
d) Police (2 pts.)
e) Cashier (1 pt)
5. What do you do with your spare time?
a) Exercise (5 pts.)
b) Read (4 pts.)
c) Watch television (2 pts.)
d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
e) Sleep (3 pts.)
6. Which one of the following colors do you like best?
a) Yellow (1 pt.)
b) White (5 pts.)
c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)
d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)
e) Red (4 pts.)
7. Which of these would you prefer to eat right now?
a) Snow (3 pts.)
b) Pizza (2 pt.
c) Sushi (1 pt.)
d) Pasta (4 pts.)
e) Salad (5 pts.)
8. What is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween (1 pt.)
b) Christmas (3 pts.)
c) New Years (2 pts.)
d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)
e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)
9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
a) Paris (4 pts)
b) Spain (5 pts.)
c) Las Vegas (1 pt.)
d) Hawaii (4 pts.)
e) Hollywood (3 pts)
10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?
a) Someone smart (5 pts.)
b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
c) Someone who likes to party (1 pt.)
d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)
e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)
Now add up your points and discover which character you most resemble.
10-16 points- You are Garfield: You are very comfortable, easy going and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme. You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember your happy spirit may hurt you or others.
17-23 points- You are Snoopy: You are fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in and you never are out of style. You are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.
24-28 points- You are Elmo: You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and you always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer, if not you will have many conflicts with life.
29-35 points- You are Sponge Bob Square Pants: You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never want to lose. You never cause harm to anyone and they always understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people, then you will be stress free.
36-43 points- You are Charlie Brown: You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.
44-50 points- You are Poindexter: You are smart and definitely a thinker. Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. Maintain a stable routine but ignore a bad situation when it comes.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Lost: Three minutes

Lost. 2.22. The light bulb goes on over Jack’s head and he mentions the guns they gave to the Others, but still no one doubts Michael’s story. Even more annoying, Michael will continue to play the Parent Card throughout this entire episode. He only wants Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sawyer to go with him to the Others camp, reasoning they’re the ones who know what happened. By episode’s end, everyone seems to know anyway. None of the Lostaways excel in logic and reasoning, do they? Backing up 13 days ago when Michael was in search of Walt, he sees an Other. Fake Henry aside, do they ever travel alone? Not this time. Zeke captures Michael from behind. He’s taken to the camp where I didn’t see many old women and children. I did see what appeared to be a lot of twenty to forty somethings. Michael doesn’t seem at all curious when Alex asks him about Claire and the baby.

A Miss Clue (or Klugh), who seems to be in charge of the camp, has questions of her own, mostly concerning Walt. In particular, she asks if he ever saw Walt some place he wasn’t supposed to be, such as Australia. Not being part of Walt’s childhood, Michael has no answers for her and she sums up what I’ve been thinking by saying it’s strange that he wants Walt back so badly when he doesn’t know anything about him. Is it genetics or pride? Is Michael more concerned that he’ll be branded a bad father? He demands to see Walt and Klugh gives them three minutes together. No one mentions Walt’s sudden growth spurt. Walt does warn Michael that the Others are making him take tests and they’re not who they say they are. They’re pretending. Does Michael think about the statements? Does he wonder why they took a blood sample and how they’re going to check it out in the jungle? Naw. Klugh demands he release Fake Henry and bring back the four people on her list. Never does she say he’s to kill anyone to accomplish this. Michael is on my Bad Side. And good luck getting off it.

Charlie gives Claire the vaccine he found, thinking it’s safe because he tried it. She’s to pneumatically inject herself and Aaron every 9 days. Eko decides to forgo the church building in favour of making the hatch his bachelor pad, making Charlie feel abandoned yet again. Vincent brings him a statue and leads him to more. Either the vaccine or time has helped Charlie realize it’s actions that determine one’s quality of character. He tosses the Mary’s into the ocean. Sawyer thinks they should take the Red Beret (aka Captain Arab) instead of Pippy Longstocking or the Grape Ape to attack the Others. Michael won’t hear of it. Sayid informs Jack he thinks Michael has been compromised and is leading them into a trap. They need to make him believe he’s in control to create an advantage. Sun spies a boat heading towards the beach. Best line: Sawyer’s: “At least now we get to kill somebody.”

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Lookin' so sharp

The video for Icelandic band Jeff Who?'s song Barfly is available at Kvikmynd. Just click on Tonlist near the upper left and you'll see the block for it at the bottom of the screen. Radio 2 has been playing this song for weeks and it's so upbeat, it's great. I love the piano going wild near the end. La la la la la la la... Listen to the song also at: NME's site

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

24: 4-5 a.m.

24. 5.22. They’re about to call Congress, who apparently don’t ever sleep either, with hopes of beginning impeachment. Not so fast, Chloe. The recording is nothing but static. Its memory chip has been erased. It occurs to Chloe that Miles was the only person who sidled up to her, and that Karen sent him. Jack goes for his throat instead of his thigh but Miles has been transferred to the White House. Can’t touch him. Logan drops the charges against Jack, making him an easy target. As we all saw driving down Rodeo Drive, Brit Hostile escapes with help from “his men.” Who are these men so easily recruited and how does one go about engaging them? And how did they spirit away one of the Canisters of Doom?

Poor Aaron. He’s beaten and bloody but at least he’s not a traitor and a disgrace to the office. Somehow he’s going to make it his duty to see Logan brought to justice. After chucking down some humble pie, Jack offers immunity to Henderson who knows he’ll be killed if he walks because Logan isn’t the mastermind. Instead he wants Jack’s help in disappearing and will take him at his word. Didn’t we establish in a previous hour that Jack’s word is worthless? While I become more confused, Henderson leads Jack to arms dealer Joseph Melina whose computer makes CTU’s look like an internet café. Chloe is so jealous now. Martha sees Agent Adams about to lock Aaron in the trunk of a car and/or beat him senseless. When Adams senselessly drops his gun to pick up a tire iron, Martha grabs the gun and shoots him.

After Henderson tells Melina to crash his super duper computer, CTU moves in. Curtis obviously didn’t set up a wide enough perimeter and is winged. Henderson insists he was trying to make Melina lift the heavy duty firewall and move his files. Now CTU (that is, Chloe) will have to decrypt them. Aaron and Martha decide to make Logan believe he’s dead. Aaron, not Logan. Martha’s to tell Mike everything. Chloe decrypts info about a Russian submarine named Natalia. The lieutenant on board is warned that terrorists are after its missiles so he goes and checks that they’re still there, as if the crew wouldn’t have noticed a bunch of terrorists lugging them off the ship. Brit Hostile uses the last canister so he and “his men” can take control of the sub. Next: the final twist. Someone wake the writers.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Lost: ?

Lost. 2.21. Proving being dead doesn’t mean you can’t be seen again in flashbacks and dreams, Ana Lucia appears to Eko and tells him to take Locke (aka Gimli McCrutch) to the question mark. When the posse reaches the hatch, the artist formerly known as Henry Gale has disappeared. Michael of course says Henry shot him and the girls who both appear to be dead until Libby spits up blood all over Sawyer in an ewww moment. Eko and Locke head out on Henry’s trail but there isn’t one. Following a major head butt, Locke hands over his rudimentary drawing of the hatches. Eko somehow knows the centre question mark is that way. Walking a ways, they find themselves back at brother Yemi’s old plane. According to Locke’s dream, Eko needs to climb up a steep cliff. When he does, and looks back down, he noticed a question mark on the ground.

In Eko’s back story, he’s working as a priest in Australia. With forged identification papers, no less. He’s sent to research a drowned girl who came back to life during her autopsy. The girl’s father, who happens to be Claire’s psychic, insists a little too much the story is partially a cover up for negligence (hypothermia made the girl appear dead) and partially his wife’s using the circumstances to get back at him for being a fake. So did he really see something when reading Claire? Who knows. The daughter, creepy in her own right, later tracks down Eko and gives him a message that Yemi sent her as she was drowning. Uh huh.

Locke and Eko discover a hatch under the question mark. It’s the Pearl, a monitoring station. Locke prints out a log which appears to be a record of when the numbers were entered in the computer. Will he be able to determine if Henry lied? Or see when Michael was typing to Walt? Eko and Locke watch the Pearl’s orientation video hosted by the doctor previously known as Candle who described a three week psychology project where the other hatches would be monitored by someone who was instructed to record everything in notebooks sent via canister to somewhere. Vague enough? Locke’s faith wavers. He feels they’re merely rats in a maze with no cheese and it’s all meaningless. Welcome to viewership. More heartbreaking: Libby manages to only say Michael’s name before she dies. Hurley already blames himself for forgetting the blankets. Will his mental state hold up?

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

24: 3-4 a.m.

24.5.21. The co-pilot’s whining because his nose might be broken. Didn’t I say last week: wimp! Audrey’s informed her father held his breath underwater for an hour or two (take that Mr Blaine!) and survived the plunge. Miles isn’t happy that Karen’s left him out of the New Intel Loop. A VCI emergency distress signal from the plane is enough for Logan to take pre-emptive action and order the military to shoot it down. Jack has a history of erratic behaviour and they don’t know his intentions. Informed there’s an F18 about to shoot him out of existence, Jack sticks CTU on finding a place for the plane to land, preferably a 5,000 foot length of freeway. The best Bill can find is the 118 which is 4,000 feet with an overpass. No one mentions the 118 is only a few miles from the airport. Where’s the drama in that?

Having tasered enough drunks for the day, Chloe opens a socket to the F18. Of course. When Mike tells Logan the plane is landing, he has to reconsider. His next great plan is to cordon off the landing sight and apprehend Jack. Not so fast. CTU sends Curtis and team, the Backstreets Boys. Jack, still managing to keep hold of his trusty purse, sneaks easily past the marines and into Curtis’s vehicle, even without putting up his Hoodie of Invisibility. Miles approaches Karen about her working with two people who are under arrest and more importantly, why he hasn’t been told what she’s doing. He whines some speech about unwavering allegiance and trustworthiness. And she buys it.

Brit Hostile is in the process of being transferred. You know this can’t end well. Jack hands the recording to Chloe. The Attorney General will be summoned to hear the Logan-incriminating tape. Logan can’t go on trial for murder. It would “expose certain realities” the country doesn’t want or need to know. He assures Baldie and Associates they won’t be implicated. Before he bows out, he goes to say goodbye to Martha who has the line of the hour: “If I wasn’t so horrified that I’m married to you, I might actually be impressed you’re such a good liar.” Miles calls Logan. He feels compelled to intervene with the recording that could compromise national security. Compromise it, I say! Naw, he doesn’t listen. He sidles up to Chloe with some red blinky device. We fear the tape is a goner.

Monday, May 08, 2006

House-isms

  • Are you comparing me to God? I mean, it's great, but so you know, I've never made a tree.
  • Who the man? I the man. I always suspected.
  • A secret club. What's the secret, they're all morons?
  • I promise you, the next knitting injury that comes in, we're on it like stink on cheese.
  • Like I always say, there's no 'I' in team. There's a 'me,' though, if you jumble it up.
  • You put the Queen on your money, you're British.
  • If you talk to God, you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic.
  • Everybody lies.
  • Truth begins in lies.
  • You want to know how two chemicals interact, do you ask them? No, they're going to lie through their lying little chemical teeth. Throw them in a beaker and apply heat.
  • We all make mistakes, and we all pay a price.
  • Everybody does stupid things, it shouldn't cost them everything they want in life.
  • The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up.
  • Ideopathic, from the Latin meaning we're idiots cause we can't figure out what's causing it.
  • The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth.
  • It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain.
  • How does someone just start drooling? Chase? Were you wearing your short shorts?
  • You want to be a rebel; stop being cool. Wear a pocket protector like he does, and get a hair cut. Like the Asian kids that don't leave the library for a twenty hours stretch. They're the ones that don't care what you think.
  • But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin.
  • I find your interest interesting.
  • You wanna come over tonight and watch old movies and *cry*?
  • Overall, drug addicts are idiots
  • So what's your plan? You take the big dark one, I'll take the little girl, and the Aussie will run like a scared wombat if things get tough.
  • Oh, it's storytime! Let me get my baba.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

RIP Selina Kyle

9 June 1992 - 5 May 2006

"I won't be seeing you for a long while.
I hope it's not as long as the country miles."
-Camera Obscura

Friday, May 05, 2006

Lost : Two for the road

Lost. 2.20. In the flashback, Ana’s mother figures out the Jason shooting, prompting Ana to quit the force and become an airport security wander. Where she meets Jack’s Dad and accepts his offer to be his personal bodyguard in Sydney. Why he needs a bodyguard, I’m not sure. To stop him from drinking and driving? To go out walking after midnight with him? To protect him from some previously unseen Australian woman who won’t let him in her house to see a daughter we didn’t know he had? To keep Sawyer from suing after being hit by a car door? Seems Ana ran out of ideas too and called her Madre to say she was flying home on Flight 815. Not so fast there, Muchacha.

In the hatch, Ana wonders why Fake Henry doesn’t like to talk as much as killers. He ruins his Others are Harmless Theory, and that Goodwin wasn’t going to kill her, by trying to strangle her himself. Locke wallops him with a crutch that Henry’s glad his head didn’t break. When Locke asks why he tried to hurt Ana but not him, Henry says Locke is one of the good guys. The Man in Charge sent him to get Locke but his mission has failed and he expects his own people will kill him for it. Time to find some other people. Sawyer’s amused when Ana asks him for a gun. Here’s another idea: scram! Little Red Riding Hood/Lucie predictably uses her feminine wiles instead. Meanwhile Hurley plans a picnic with Libby. When he slips and mentions being hospitalized, he lies and says he broke a hip. Worse, he forgot blankets. Libby goes in search of some.

Locke thinks the Others want to trade Michael for Henry, but Jack thinks it’s a coincidence. So Locke doesn’t tell him about the earlier strangling episode. Michael claims he followed an Other to their primitive camp. There are 22 of them, mostly elderly and women. Two men with two guns guard metal doors leading underground. No doubt to a hatch where they are keeping Walt and the other kidnapees. Kate says nothing about the costumes she found and Jack and Locke say nothing about the many guns they gave Zeke. Instead they decide to go after the Others but they need the guns from Sawyer who realizes Ana has his revolver. She plans to kill Henry, but can’t. Michael can so she gives him the gun. I admit I never saw it coming. Michael shoots Ana. When Libby and walks in, she shoots her, right in the blankets. Then Michael shoots himself in the shoulder, no doubt to set up Henry while in fact letting him go. Best line: Sawyer’s “Guess that takes cuddlin’ off the table.”

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

24: 2-3 a.m.

24. 5.20. Bill decides to take his chances and take the fall for Chloe. She hurries off to a hotel and calls Karen for information on Jack’s flight. It’s heading to Frankfurt. Jack sneaks out of the luggage compartment and sits next to the air marshal, George Avila, claiming he’s trying to get some rest. Then he elbows George into unconsciousness. I laughed all through the commercials after that. It was so Jack. With Avila’s badge (and gun), Jack approaches Hans Meyer who Chloe has connected to Henderson. They end up back in the luggage hold discussing carry-on.

Martha discovers her husband’s staff doesn’t have much of a personality. She needs more meds to deal. Mike suspects there’s more of a problem than that. Some drunk guy tries to chat up Chloe. She tasers him for his efforts. When advised that a hijacker is in the hold, the pilot depressurizes it. But Jack won’t be killed so easily. He has his phone patched through to Stan the pilot who really should have been named Victor since it would have come in useful when he was getting vectors. The co-pilot doesn’t like the idea of letting Jack live which makes us suspicious of him right away.

Jack uses his belt to move some wires in the ceiling which cause the plane to swerve. How did he know to do that? He’s Jack Bauer, that’s how. He wants the pilot to remain in a holding pattern rather than land. Miles calls Mike, who doesn’t have time for prefaces, and whines about Karen’s soft Q&A of Bill. “Sometimes finesse and diplomacy are better than coercion,” is Mike’s answer. In between tasering episodes, Chloe figures out the co-pilot was a last minute replacement named Scott Evans who worked with Omicron. Jack informs the pilot who ends up struggling with the Evans who Jack manages to corner. Evans hands over the recording without much coercion. Wimp. Bald Guy tells Logan he better shoot down the plane unless he wants to go to prison for treason and murder.