The Universe and Me

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

24 : 10 - 11 a.m.

24. 6.5. One square mile around Valencia has been destroyed. Chloe wonders, “Why do people I know keep dying?” Well, either because you work for CTU for because you know Jack Bauer or both. Fayed calls some Aussie who stole him the bomb or bombs. Aussie wants to try his luck in Vegas but is lured by Fayed’s promise of more money to find someone who can replicate the Device. The House always wins in Vegas, anyway. President Wayne and staff move into the bridge of the Starship Enterprise, or The Bunker. The Joint Chiefs convene. Admiral Somebody has the line of the hour: “These people want to live in the Stone Age, let’s put them there.”

Assad’s taken to CTU. Let’s all stare, everybody. All he knows about the Nuke Trail is that he sent Fayed to negotiate with Soviet General Gredenko a year ago. Ever quick on the uptake, Chloe pulls up a list of Gredenko’s contacts. Floating near the top is Phillip Bauer, Jack’s dad. They haven’t spoken for around nine years, but Jack’s ready now. In the dull subplot, the FBI enlists or forces Walid to help even though he’s not trained. He’s established a confidence and that’s good enough for them. Sandra/Saundra is livid. Aussie picks up Meg Ryan who doesn’t look like she can fasten her seatbelt, much less replicate a Nuke Device.

Jack calls Jeeves/Sam, his dad’s butler or boyfriend, we’re not sure. Dad mysteriously left yesterday. Didn’t take his cell. Next Jack tries his brother Graham or Graeme or Gray who turns out to be Bluetooth Evil Mastermind from last season. Harbouring a few grudges about not getting the rugged good looks and hair, we’d say. Jack drops in for a little chat and uncomfortable hug. Gray’s wife (Marilyn?) doesn’t appear to be over Jack. We’re betting teen son Josh is really Jack’s. Gray wishes Jack would relax a little so Jack decks him, then ties him up. Gray knows nothing, he swears on his family’s life. Says Jack, “Not good enough” and starts to suffocate him with a plastic bag. End of hour. From the previews, it appears Jack’s dad is Stretch Cunningham. Does Donald Sutherland know about this?

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