Not a match, the board goes back

While I’m not looking to be matched up with anyone just now or possibly ever, I did find myself curious about the website match.com. All you have to do is enter your zip code and what approximate age you want your potential match to be and they’ll give you a lengthy list of possibilities in return. Simple enough. My problem with the potential matches is many of the names they chose to use. The worst I saw was “intonothing” which is quite the endorsement, isn’t it? Then there are the guys trying but failing to be clever: “canudiggit” “ohsogoodtou” “bendreamingofu” “deliver4you” “vacancy4two” and “goodthingsintime.” Right off we can rule out any guy who uses the word "normal" in his name. Must be no one told him normal means boring. And anyone who uses "exceptional". Ego problems ahead. Same with “markofquality” and “handsomebiker.” I’m too skeptical or jaded to believe “mrhonesty.” And creeped out by “wigglylove” “geronimo” “thumper” and “bigdaddy.” As for “golfpro”, if he really was one, I doubt he’d have trouble finding a date and I don’t think many women appreciate being golf widows. “Custodian” and “figgynurse” seem a little wimpy. The worst name I saw was “iwantparis.” Seriously! No girl will or should ever have to try to measure up to Miss Hilton or anyone.