The Universe and Me

Friday, February 17, 2006

"I've seen him blossom from an idiot to an imbecile"

On the latest Ricky Gervais podcast, he urges listeners to write in their blogs about one of his cohorts, Karl Pilkington (aka Dilkington to the British Post) who he is trying to turn into a global phenomenon. So, I’m doing my part here. Karl’s a radio producer who was born in Manchester, apparently near a chemical plant, which explains a few things about his mental capabilities. He possesses a perfectly round bald head which would be ideal for placing advertising on. He has a girlfriend named Suzanne who must be the most patient woman ever born. He believes dinosaurs should be brought back because there are too many people on the planet due to less natural selection. And he’s a very good sport to put up with the ribs, insults and “You’re an idiot! You’re an idiot!” comments from Gervais and Steve Merchant. Give the podcasts a listen, as well as the archived old radio show to learn more and laugh. Some quotes Wikipedia attributes to Mr Pilkington include:

  • There hasn't been one publication by a monkey.
  • Don't chuck stuff about because you'll break it.
  • People who live in glass houses have to answer the door.
  • Were those presents the three kings brought Jesus for Christmas or his birthday?
  • Even caveman had little pants on when you see footage of them.
  • One day, you'll be able to wake up and eat a yoghurt you can have a chat with.
  • If you saw an old fella eating a Twix, you would think, 'that’s a bit weird innit?'
  • Knowledge is almost annoying.


  • At 2:49 PM, March 06, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Questions that Karl would ask Siamese twins:
    "How can you buy her a birthday present?"
    "If one got into crime, right, and was sent to prison... what would happen?"
    "What do they talk about? Because, it's not as if you can say... 'guess what I did today?'"

    "...I was watching this programme on Dracula the other was rubbish, and I found a flaw.....he can't see himself in the mirror but his centre parting is always perfect...."

    "What I mean is, I don't know what I mean"


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