24: 7-8 p.m.

24. 5.13. Two requests. First, for the love of all that is good and holy, can they stop using the phrase “with all due respect”? Second, can they please stop killing off beloved main characters? Why should I care if a bunch of unknown actors on television are gassed? As for the hour, a Chemical Response Team possibly from Homeland Security is on its way but they’ve taken the scenic route and won’t reach CTU before some corrosive agent in the gas breaks down the seals in the safe zones. The gas masks are in a contaminated area. Way to go. Jack needs schematics but Chloe’s in shock and Kim’s Creepy Boyfriend’s psychobabble about breathing isn’t helping her. It may not have been deliberate on Jack’s part, but his confrontation with Creepy Boyfriend snapped Chloe out of it. Confrontation makes her uncomfortable. They need to flush the gas out of the building with the air conditioning but the controls are blocked by some program on a computer in the contaminated area. Jack is sure he can hold his breath long enough to reach it. I’ve been waiting half the day for his hood to come in handy for something.

Clearly Kiefer spent some of his childhood watching Red Green, for he knows the value of duct tape. But there’s a grate in his way, part of a security upgrade that someone didn’t file properly. Starting to think the CTU staff is a bunch of incompetent morons here. Lucky for the gang, Sam can reach the computer from where he is. And he has the guilty conscience to sacrifice his life. Pity he has to take some other CTU loser with him. Kim apologizes to Chloe who admits she sent Jack information about her life. That’s the final straw for Kim. Her father knew what bad shape she was in and didn’t help her. Worse, Henderson’s still not talking and appears to have slipped into a coma. Tony’s about to jab him with something lethal. Jack races there but not before Henderson wakes and jabs Tony instead. Since Michelle’s gone, Tony hasn’t the will to try live. Bummer.

Meanwhile, if anyone still cares, the Vice President is using Logan to promote his own agenda. Some hot babe named Collette (who really should have been Mandy) is providing Brit Hostile with plans for a new target, while she’s not furthering her own agenda with Desmond from Lost. Beware the Numbers! And Mrs Homeland Security inexplicably wants to take Buchanan’s place. All the best lines came from Chloe. Kim’s proximity seemed to bring out the snarkiness of her. “What’s with you and the breathing? Is that your solution to everything?” “It could be a good thing or it could be a bad thing. That’s what I don’t know means.” And something like: “I don’t judge information, I just pass it on.” Next: Lookout Curtis! You could be the next one caught in 24’s Killing Machine!