The Universe and Me

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

24: 4-5 a.m.

24. 5.22. They’re about to call Congress, who apparently don’t ever sleep either, with hopes of beginning impeachment. Not so fast, Chloe. The recording is nothing but static. Its memory chip has been erased. It occurs to Chloe that Miles was the only person who sidled up to her, and that Karen sent him. Jack goes for his throat instead of his thigh but Miles has been transferred to the White House. Can’t touch him. Logan drops the charges against Jack, making him an easy target. As we all saw driving down Rodeo Drive, Brit Hostile escapes with help from “his men.” Who are these men so easily recruited and how does one go about engaging them? And how did they spirit away one of the Canisters of Doom?

Poor Aaron. He’s beaten and bloody but at least he’s not a traitor and a disgrace to the office. Somehow he’s going to make it his duty to see Logan brought to justice. After chucking down some humble pie, Jack offers immunity to Henderson who knows he’ll be killed if he walks because Logan isn’t the mastermind. Instead he wants Jack’s help in disappearing and will take him at his word. Didn’t we establish in a previous hour that Jack’s word is worthless? While I become more confused, Henderson leads Jack to arms dealer Joseph Melina whose computer makes CTU’s look like an internet café. Chloe is so jealous now. Martha sees Agent Adams about to lock Aaron in the trunk of a car and/or beat him senseless. When Adams senselessly drops his gun to pick up a tire iron, Martha grabs the gun and shoots him.

After Henderson tells Melina to crash his super duper computer, CTU moves in. Curtis obviously didn’t set up a wide enough perimeter and is winged. Henderson insists he was trying to make Melina lift the heavy duty firewall and move his files. Now CTU (that is, Chloe) will have to decrypt them. Aaron and Martha decide to make Logan believe he’s dead. Aaron, not Logan. Martha’s to tell Mike everything. Chloe decrypts info about a Russian submarine named Natalia. The lieutenant on board is warned that terrorists are after its missiles so he goes and checks that they’re still there, as if the crew wouldn’t have noticed a bunch of terrorists lugging them off the ship. Brit Hostile uses the last canister so he and “his men” can take control of the sub. Next: the final twist. Someone wake the writers.

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