Shipwrecked and comatose

I loaned my brilliant and lovely niece Shannen series 1 of the old BBC science fiction comedy Red Dwarf to see what she thinks of it. I didn’t have any movies to watch yesterday, so I popped in series 4 again, the year the show really starts taking off. Here are some quotes:

• It’s a small off duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden.
• I better go and take the penguin for a walk.
• It’s a yellow fruit that you unzip and eat the white bits.
• Glad you could make it this millennium.
• Is it possible you could go a little faster so we’re not being overtaken by stationary objects?
• He’s got mad droid disease.
• I thank you from the bottom of my rehydration units.
• The way the light catches the angles of your head, it’s enchanting.
• You must think me as stupid as a photocopier.
• You look like a giant half-chewed rubber tipped pencil.
• We’ll always have Parrots.
• No matter how hard I twiddle it, I can’t seem to pick up Jazz FM.
• No wonder humans don’t have a zoom mode.
• No vacuum cleaner should give a human being a double Polaroid.
• Spare head 3, he’s got droid rot.
• Screw down my diodes and call me Frank.
• It appears my intelligence circuits have melted.
• There’s no Eskimo word for Eastbourne.
• I’m fine, thank you Susan.
• What a guy!
• If you’re interested, I’ll be in my quarters covered in taramasalata.
• I didn’t know your bread was buttered that side, Bongo.
• Lunch is on Nellie.
• Would it make any difference if it was hummus?
• I’m strictly butter side up.
• Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast.
• Love the Cuban heels.
• The man’s a maggot.
• I am completely smegging ungripped.
• I still feel there’s a solution, probably involving triangles.
• We don’t like existentialists around here and we certainly don’t like French philosophers poncing around in their black polo necks filling everyone's heads with their theories about the bleakness of existence and absurdity of the cosmos, clear?
• Now all the corpses that litter that battlefield can just lie there safe under the knowledge that they snuffed it under a flag of peace and can now happily decompose in a land of freedom.