24: 1 - 2 a.m.

Previously on 24: Audrey, I know it’s late but wake up! Your boyfriend is a thug! Acting President Nervous Nixon reminds me of substitute teachers we used to have who couldn’t keep control over the class and then became furious when the class grew rowdy. I’m guessing Pseudo-Nixon never had kids to keep in line. And then he whines “It’s not my fault” in much the same tone as “I am not a crook.” So Mike taps his speed dial to Palmer who we know from past seasons never sleeps and I wondered if that was the plan all along. Maybe it’s not Marwan who’s the mastermind. Maybe it’s Mike. All this was to bump Keeler and party out of the White House and put Palmer back in. Or I’ve completely flipped. Yeah, that could be. I half expected Palmer to burst into George Costanza’s “I’m back baby!” So Marwan’s big plan is to blow up Iowa? And to implement that, he’s gettin’ down at some disco in downtown LA. Boogie on reggae Marwan! One of the sentry’s in the club looked a lot like Lurch. And I think my imaginary husband might have been one of the Secret Service. Jack chooses such a crucial moment to suddenly respect authority? Where did that come from? Interesting how whenever anyone begins a sentence with the phrase “With all due respect, sir,” it’s followed by a completely disrespectful comment. For a moment I thought Chloe had developed agoraphobia but it was really a healthy fear of wading into the Death Pool. If she’s so smart, why didn’t she think she might need a weapon? She knows what goes on in The Field. And good for Edgar for offering to take her place even after she gave him a “pretty rude attitude.” But our gal Chloe comes through in the end. Not only does she grab the laptop and the informant, she finds an M16 and blasts the bad guys to smithereens. Everybody say: “Chloe rocks!” Next up: somebody at CTU realises nobody’s eaten for 18 hours and the gang drops by a Chinese restaurant but they can’t get seated and go ballistic.