24: 12 - 1 am

Previously on 24: Those wacky terrorists. They’ve built mountains in Iowa. Good one. Where did Marwan download that marvelously sinister ringtone? Very cool. For a minute I thought Curtis had dived into the deep end of the Death Pool, but he’s a good swimmer. What’s the deal with the bobbleheaded Logan? He’s quaking in his boots even though he’s safely secured in the spiffy Oval Bunker. What a wimp. I can’t believe anyone would think he’s qualified to have a paper route much less be Vice President. Why would Keeler put this loser on the ticket? I’m sensing conspiracy and it’s making me uneasy too, Tony. A nuclear warhead's been swiped and Mike's pointing fingers. “The good news is most the country is still asleep.” Just as I was starting to give up hope, in walks Jack at 12:42 and I thought, wouldn’t it be neat if a time clock announced your arrival wherever you went? But poor Jack, thwarted by the Constitution. And Kiefer a Canadian. But wait. Nothing gets past our suds buddies to the north. There’s no way Amnesty Lawyer Guy could have reached CTU that fast. It’s not like he’s Tony or Chloe. When Jack resigned, I had a freaky flashback of Frank Furillo turning in his badge for the umpteenth time on “Hill Street Blues.” So Jack becomes a private citizen and slimy Joe Prado (no relation to Prada) finds out that the only thing worse than being picked up by CTU is being let go by CTU. “Cut to the chase”? Wasn’t that what Jack did in Season 3? Har har. This episode seemed full of unintentional innuendo, from Edgar’s, “I’d like to get him in a room for ten minutes” to Michelle asking Tony for his “tactical input.” But the funniest line was saved for last. Jack’s “this’ll help you with the pain” had me laughing into the previews. Next up: he’s back! I’ve been thinking for weeks their problems would be solved if they’d just call on Allstate.