Do we need 'em? : Jellyfish

Another of Mr Pilkington’s annoyances (because he stepped on one on holiday) is jellyfish. Since they are at least 95% water, Karl feels they should just give up the remaining 5% and become pure water. There are around three thousand kinds of jellyfish, some small as a pea and others big as a barrel. They only live about a year, have no brain, no head, no skeleton, no scales, no heart. Many have no eyes. Resembling a bell or parachute or open umbrella (take your pick), they are basically a floating bag of gelatin that absorbs oxygen from the water. They eat fish, shrimp, crabs, worms, plankton, plants and other jellyfish. To move, they squirt water out of their mouths. Their tentacles resemble cooked noodles, and can be up to a hundred feet long, but have stingers that poison other fish and hurt like the dickens when you step on them, so it sure seems like we don’t need them. The few fish and turtles that feed on them could likely find easier food sources. Jellyfish fans and connoisseurs (apparently when marinated, they can be quite tasty) are free to disagree.

Yes we're going to a party, party

Documentary/Reality show/PBS special: Regency House Party. Can’t say it was six hours of unmitigated fun, but it was interesting to see modern Brits propelled back in time to the Regency era. And thinking of how I might live in the early 1800s. If I could adapt or not. Jane Austen makes it sound so romantic and intriguing. This film showed the time in a different light. Some things would be horrible, like one bath per week (and everyone smelling like a badger), three hour dinners, not being able to dress oneself to the extreme of not even being allowed to take off your own gloves, women not being independent, not allowed to say and do whatever one wants or feels.

The women on the show complained about being terminally bored, since they were stuck inside most of the time, with each other, doing little besides gossiping and the occasional dance lesson. I felt they didn’t take enough initiative to fill their time in better ways, such as sewing (although they did sew when they were told to) or taking piano lessons, reading, writing poetry or prose (although chaperone Lady Davenport wrote a poem or two and one of the girls mentioned it took her an hour with a quill to write a letter), going for chaperoned walks with the other girls since they weren’t allowed to walk alone or with the men. The men’s existence seemed filled with (to me) pointless feats of bravado. Boxing matches, endless exercises, military drills, drinking too much, and purges.

The show was set up to be a form of reality dating, but someone didn’t realize that there was no dating in the Regency era. There was matchmaking, engagement and marriage. All done for the sake of securing the best social and financial status for the woman. And then one in three women died during childbirth. I’m with the one girl (Hayley?) who said marriage on these terms (being totally at a husband’s mercy, bearing too many children, and having a good chance of dying before the age of 35) wasn’t for her. Me either. The one chaperone (of Miss Braund’s) came across as mean at one point, when she said she couldn’t bear to leave her room and therefore Miss Braund couldn’t leave either. The chaperone was smiling creepily as she said it. I’d have clashed with her too.

The narrator mentioned competition was rife among real Regency women. Something that should have made them vindictive and back-stabbing. But I’ve never noticed much of that in films made about this era. And these modern girls thrown back in time seemed to develop great friendships. Perhaps both eras of women felt such sympathy for each others fate, they couldn’t help but be disposed towards kindness. The main difference between the women of that time and these girls was that, no matter what they were told, the modern girls still chose to listen to their hearts. One major omission from the DVD: an update on where the gang is now, although if you google, you can find some interviews.

Play me my song

On Sunday my oldest nephew mentioned that he's taken to listening to Genesis, a band I used to listen to back in the 70s and 80s. More coincidentally, when I babysat my nephew lo all those many years ago, I used to sing him a bunch of Genesis songs to try to keep him from crying and coax him to sleep. A while back I'd been trying to think of which were my favourites in the Genesis discography. Here's the rudimentary list:

• In the Wilderness – All I hear is music. When Piano Boy (since Piano Man would be Billy Joel) and I first started dating, I was listening to this song over and over and it always reminds me of that time.
• Visions of angels – Dance in the sky
• Dusk – A pawn on a chessboard. It’s those Banksian background lyrics that add enough to make it great.
• The Knife – Give us a land fit for heroes! It seems I once read Peter stating that “Back in New York City” was the most violent song he’d ever written but I always thought this was moreso what with lopping heads off. I always loved the live version with the audience shouting out their request for it and Peter nonchalantly saying the title before beginning.
• The Musical Box
• For Absent Friends - leaving tuppence
• Harold the Barrel - hasn't got a leg to stand on
• Can Utility and the Coastliners – Starts out so peaceful, like looking out on a pacific (if not the Pacific) ocean and then builds until the last scathing line.
• Supper’s Ready – of course. "Something tells me I better activate my prayer capsule." The ultimate struggle of good vs evil with the book of Revelations and the Apocalypse in 9/8 time thrown in. And the fade-out at the end which ends on a symbolic upswing.
• Dancing with the Moonlit Knight
• I Know What I Like – Keep them mowin’ blades sharp!
• The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway – Title track to the album. An unbeatable opening piano section. And its refrain of “On Broadway.”
• Cuckoo Cocoon
• The Carpet Crawlers - extremely poetical lyrics and beautiful musicality
• Lilywhite Lilith
• Squonk
• Your Own Special Way – Everybody say “awwww.”
• The Lady Lies
• Follow You, Follow Me – Way back when, Piano Boy wrote a couple lines from this on a slip of paper he gave me which I tacked up on my door. The slip is probably still in a box of his letters and things I never had the cruelty to toss out.
• Me and Sarah Jane – The only song past 1978 worth considering. And that probably only for the Dr Who reference.

Berum út dívanana

A kind soul recently uploaded a video of husky voiced Icelandic singer Ragnhildur Gísladóttir at You Tube. The video is a collection of photographs spanning her career. Born 7 October 1956, she's had quite a career. Learn more about this "besta söngkona allra tíma" at Ragga's fansite.

Quote of the week

"I am one of the few actresses that enjoys a meal once in a while."

Bonnie Hunt

We could break the landspeed record

Movie: The World’s Fastest Indian. The first ten minutes or so I wondered if it was a guy film, what with the motorcycle, racing and speed talk and I actually asked myself if it was worth continuing to watch. But then he set off on his journey and it picked up. Way up. And became one of the most charming movies I’ve seen this year. Anthony Hopkins’ performance as affable New Zealander Burt Munro was largely responsible for that. Something that really struck me was how the film made people of that era (the sixties) act so different from the way people behave today. I couldn’t help thinking that these days Burt would have been murdered ten minutes after he stepped off the plane in Los Angeles. Fear or something seems to have turned people into angry killing machines. Back then people seemed kinder and willing to help a stranger because it was the right thing to do. Also, Munro’s spirited character made it easy to help him. I got a kick out of the concern for his leg being burned and he said that’s okay, I’ve got another one. A very feel-good movie about achieving one’s dream. Too much overlooked. Drop by your nearest Blockbuster of library and find this gem.

Do we need 'em? : Miller moths

Taking a page out of Karl Pilkington’s soon to be published book. In a recent e-mail, Bo mentioned how over in CO they are being plagued with migrating miller moths. So I was wondering what made them different from other moths and if we in fact needed them. They were named after the scales on their wings which rub off easily and resemble flour. In caterpillar stage, they present a problem for spring crops as they’ll eat alfalfa, wheat, spinach, etc. But there is only bad damage during highly populous years. The adult moths seem to be merely a nuisance. When they die, the fat in their bodies turns rancid which creates a smell if they die in your house, but when alive they don’t eat fabric and don’t bite. As far as the ecosystem goes, they are food for carpet beetles and other household scavengers as well as bats, birds and even grizzly bears. One bear can consume forty thousand moths a day, the energy equivalent of seventy snickers bars. But it seems it would take the bear the entire day. The moth’s wing dust can provoke allergies. So do we need them? Bo says her cat is extremely entertained jumping around chasing these critters. So on behalf of bored cats everywhere, I say keep ‘em.

Ung og ástfangin

Icleandic band Signía performed the song Ung og ástfangin on 24 May on Icelandic television. If you're going to watch it, be quick, as they only leave the clips on the net for about two weeks. The net may or may not also provide a working mp3 of the song, which also (or only?) goes by the title Amor.

Return to wildlife

Welcome May and Gus!

Lost: Live together, die alone 2

Lost. 2.24. Charlie takes Eko to the dynamite, then thinks twice about it and warns Locke that Eko’s going to blow the blast doors. Desmond’s not worried. He’s sure the doors will hold, like he’s been through this before. Back up to Desmond’s flashback where Kelvin is working on the ultraviolet map beneath a brown stain (aka Radzinsky) on the ceiling. The magnetic field is definitely not a joke. At some point in their hatch time together, Desmond finds Kelvin drunk in the lower catacombs, muttering over a failsafe system complete with key. The Incident was a leak of electromagnetic electricity/energy which now builds up until the button is pushed to discharge it. Whereupon it begins building up all over again. Or something like that.

One day, as Kelvin is preparing for an excursion topside, Desmond sees a tear in his yellow suit and doubts the suit’s necessity. He follows Kelvin outside and watches him take off his mask and suit, then go to where he’s hidden the Elizabeth boat. Desmond confronts him about fixing it and/or leaving with it. In an ensuing struggle, Kelvin’s head is hit against a rock and Desmond gives him up for dead. Is he? Who knows. Desmond rushes back to the hatch which is electromagnetically freaking out under a system failure. Lookout for the flying silverware. Back in their current time, Locke shows Desmond the printouts from the Pearl. Desmond finds the system failure happened on September 22 and utters something he probably feared, “I think I crashed your plane.”

Sayid finds the Others camp abandoned and their hatch doors nothing but doors. The Dumpling Gang wanders onto a pile of canisters full of notebooks. Jack sees Sayid’s smoke signal, but it’s too far away, and realizes Michael has deliberately led them off path. Cue the spooky whispers. And tranquilizing darts. The Gang’s taken to an Others pier where Kate mumbles that she knows Zeke/Tom’s beard is fake and he gives up the hillbilly charade. The Deliverance boat pulls up and Fake Henry steps off. He seems to be in charge of these Others, insisting they’re the “good guys.” Walt (whose speciallness was apparently more than the Others bargained for) is in the boat. Fake Henry gives Michael a compass bearing to follow, assuring him they’ll be rescued. And Michael goes. Well, good riddance. This time Walt cares nothing about his dog’s fate. Buh bye. Fake Henry sends Hurley back with orders to tell the Lostaways to stay away. Kate, Sawyer and Jack? If there’s a plan, we’ll learn about it next season.

While all this is happening, Locke completely loses his faith. Desmond can’t convince him the experiment may really have been the men in the Pearl, not the Swan. Quoting “Strawberry Fields Forever,” Locke says “nothing is real” and smashes the computer monitor. The countdown reaches zero and the magnetic field can’t hold. Desmond decides it’s time to use the failsafe key. Locke admits he was wrong. But about what? Wrong to think he was wrong? Wrong to give up faith? I’m not sure we’ll see him or Eko again to find out. Charlie, though, miraculously survives the fireball and the washer/dryer Dalek-like attack and nonchalantly turns up on the beach to snuggle with Claire. In what appeared to be a commercial, two Portuguese guys’ chess game is interrupted by a signal bleeping. They give Desmond’s gal Penny a call to tell her they’ve found him or it. Best line: Charlie’s “I’ll see myself out.” Next: a summer of speculation galore!

Lost: Live together, die alone 1

Lost. 2.23. Jack, Sawyer and Sayid are kind to the female viewers and swim out to the boat to find Captain Jack Sparrow. Oh bugger. No, it’s a drunken Desmond. I saw that coming. The Desmond part, not the drunken part. He’s been sailing for 2 ½ weeks but ended up right back at the island and is convinced they’re stuck in a snow globe. They should be so lucky. In his flashback, he’s released from jail in Scotland, I believe. If it’s raining, it must be Scotland. Enter his girlfriend’s father with the previously mentioned last name Widmore. He made sure his daughter Penelope didn’t receive Des’s love letters. She’s set to marry someone else and Des is to stay away. Later on Desmond meets Libby in a café. She’s so friendly, or nuts, or freaked out about her hideous wig, that she offers him her late husband’s boat for his sailing race around the world. A storm at sea shipwrecks Desmond onto Crap Island where he’s dragged by what appeared to be several people in yellow suits down into the hatch. There we see only Kelvin who enlists him as button partner. As for the orientation film, Kelvin tells Des that former button pusher Radzinsky “made some edits.” Hmmm.

As for the Lostaways: Sayid decides to sail the boat to the Others camp and scout it out. Once there, he’ll send a message of black smoke to Jack and the Apple Dumpling Gang. Jin and Sun offer to go with to help him with the boat. On the way, they pass the remains of a statue: a big foot with four toes. Locke tries to convince Eko not to be a slave, but to allow the countdown to reach zero. Eko locks out Locke. Locke informs Desmond about the Pearl hatch saying the Swan hatch was a psychological experiment. Desmond knows how to fake a lockdown and does so to keep Eko from reaching the button. Eko crawls back up the hatch and sees the quarantine on its lid. He enlists Charlie’s help. The Gang is accosted by a CGI bird that likes Hurley. When Michael tries to shoot it, his gun doesn’t work. Jack tries to act surprised that he forgot to load it, but Michael’s suspicious. Kate realizes the Gang is being followed. She shoots an Other. Another Other escapes. Michael confesses about the list and the murders. His best excuse is he “didn’t have time to think.” Jack appears to be thinking. He has a plan. Best line: “I’ll make the popcorn.” Next: hour 2.

24: 6-7 a.m.

24. 5.24. I’m watching in disbelief as Jack changes from his Hoodie into a flight suit. And not because he’s going to replace Logan’s helicopter’s co-pilot, which he does with ease. He tasers the Secret Service and orders the pilot to land in an industrial park. Chloe sends Morris with the modified equipment. No pressure, but Jack has only ten minutes, minus commercials, to make Logan confess. Typically, Logan tries to blame the people who work for him for everything that went wrong. He may not know Jack, who has nothing to lose. But in one of the worst moments of the show, Jack wimps out and can’t kill the president who flies off to meet Palmer’s casket.

Martha meets him there but she’s hysterical so he takes her aside and actually slaps her. As if we didn’t hate him enough before. He accuses her of being part of the plan to get Jack on the chopper and threatens to ship her off to an asylum. Martha has accusations of her own and Logan admits everything. Under the radar, Chloe sets up a conference call with the Attorney General. She has a recording between the First Couple from five minutes ago, thanks to Jack placing a listening device/microtransmitter in Logan’s pen. Martha and Mike look on smugly as Logan is escorted out by a federal marshal.

Jack’s informed he has a call from Kim, and is way too tired to be as suspicious as I was at home. It’s not Kim and he’s kidnapped. China has a long memory. They also have a slow boat. Jack’s too valuable to them to kill. But that doesn’t mean he’s going to enjoy any of his ride. Especially since he doesn’t have his purse or his Hoodie of Invisibility. Tsk tsk. No word on the whereabouts of his PDA. Next: the following takes place between the next six or seven months: I try to figure out how you get the pronunciation of Rice-cub out of Rajskub.

24: 5-6 a.m.

24. 5.23. Brit Hostile is upset over the alliance with Moscow and has taken over the Russian sub that happened to be around because of the day’s earlier treaty signing. CTU picks up a radio beacon from something like a signal tube, I believe they said. It’s a distress signal from petty officer Mickey Rooney, still looking about twelve years old, who survived the gassing in a sealed compartment. Jack instructs Rooney how to viciously kill the guard so the lad can reach the escape hatch and let him and Henderson on board. Henderson sets about manually reversing the launch codes while Jack uses his killer legs to exterminate Brit Hostile.

The launch sequence has been cancelled but Henderson is nowhere in sight. He finds Jack atop the sub, and is ready to kill him because he knows Jack was never going to let him go. Not so fast. The cartridge of the gun Jack gave him is empty. As revenge for Palmer, Tony, Michelle and probably everyone else who died that day, Jack shoots him and then tells CTU that Henderson fired first, making it seem like self defense. With no time to lose on particulars, Jack talks to Chloe privately. He’s going after Logan and needs some field communication equipment modified. Chloe doesn’t think she’s qualified so she brings in a Beverly Hills shoe salesman named Morris who’s up to the task.

Morris arrives at CTU and we find out he’s Morris O’Brien, Chloe’s ex-husband. Huh? Oh, the whiplash. Martha takes Mike to Aaron. And can someone get the poor man a wet wipe? Jack needs a direct confession from Logan but the President is leaving to eulogize Palmer in twenty minutes. Martha will have to stall him. She gives her best Oscar worthy performance of apologizing to her husband and then…and then… oh, it’s too nauseating to contemplate. Especially because the director felt the need for extreme close ups. Best exchange: “I’ll cover you.” “That’s what I’m worried about.” Next: the day’s final hour.

SpongeVarushka

Take his test and find out what cartoon character you are! Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble? A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well known and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test: Answer all the questions with what describes you best, add up all your points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and look for your results.

1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?

a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)

b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)

c) Painting in the park (5 pts.)

d) Rock concert (1 pt.)

e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)

2. What is your favorite type of music?

a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)

b) Alternative (1 pt.)

c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)

d) Country (5 pts.)

e) Pop (3 pts.)

3. What type of movies do you prefer?

a) Comedy (2 pts.)

b) Horror (1 pt.)

c) Musical (3 pts.)

d) Romance (4 pts.)

e) Documentary (5 pts.)

4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?

a) Waiter (4 pts.)

b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)

c) Teacher (3 pts.)

d) Police (2 pts.)

e) Cashier (1 pt)

5. What do you do with your spare time?

a) Exercise (5 pts.)

b) Read (4 pts.)

c) Watch television (2 pts.)

d) Listen to music (1 pt.)

e) Sleep (3 pts.)

6. Which one of the following colors do you like best?

a) Yellow (1 pt.)

b) White (5 pts.)

c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)

d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)

e) Red (4 pts.)

7. Which of these would you prefer to eat right now?

a) Snow (3 pts.)

b) Pizza (2 pt.

c) Sushi (1 pt.)

d) Pasta (4 pts.)

e) Salad (5 pts.)

8. What is your favorite holiday?

a) Halloween (1 pt.)

b) Christmas (3 pts.)

c) New Years (2 pts.)

d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)

e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)

9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?

a) Paris (4 pts)

b) Spain (5 pts.)

c) Las Vegas (1 pt.)

d) Hawaii (4 pts.)

e) Hollywood (3 pts)

10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?

a) Someone smart (5 pts.)

b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)

c) Someone who likes to party (1 pt.)

d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)

e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points and discover which character you most resemble.

10-16 points- You are Garfield: You are very comfortable, easy going and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme. You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember your happy spirit may hurt you or others.

17-23 points- You are Snoopy: You are fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in and you never are out of style. You are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.

24-28 points- You are Elmo: You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and you always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer, if not you will have many conflicts with life.

29-35 points- You are Sponge Bob Square Pants: You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never want to lose. You never cause harm to anyone and they always understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people, then you will be stress free.

36-43 points- You are Charlie Brown: You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.

44-50 points- You are Poindexter: You are smart and definitely a thinker. Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. Maintain a stable routine but ignore a bad situation when it comes.

Lost: Three minutes

Lost. 2.22. The light bulb goes on over Jack’s head and he mentions the guns they gave to the Others, but still no one doubts Michael’s story. Even more annoying, Michael will continue to play the Parent Card throughout this entire episode. He only wants Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sawyer to go with him to the Others camp, reasoning they’re the ones who know what happened. By episode’s end, everyone seems to know anyway. None of the Lostaways excel in logic and reasoning, do they? Backing up 13 days ago when Michael was in search of Walt, he sees an Other. Fake Henry aside, do they ever travel alone? Not this time. Zeke captures Michael from behind. He’s taken to the camp where I didn’t see many old women and children. I did see what appeared to be a lot of twenty to forty somethings. Michael doesn’t seem at all curious when Alex asks him about Claire and the baby.

A Miss Clue (or Klugh), who seems to be in charge of the camp, has questions of her own, mostly concerning Walt. In particular, she asks if he ever saw Walt some place he wasn’t supposed to be, such as Australia. Not being part of Walt’s childhood, Michael has no answers for her and she sums up what I’ve been thinking by saying it’s strange that he wants Walt back so badly when he doesn’t know anything about him. Is it genetics or pride? Is Michael more concerned that he’ll be branded a bad father? He demands to see Walt and Klugh gives them three minutes together. No one mentions Walt’s sudden growth spurt. Walt does warn Michael that the Others are making him take tests and they’re not who they say they are. They’re pretending. Does Michael think about the statements? Does he wonder why they took a blood sample and how they’re going to check it out in the jungle? Naw. Klugh demands he release Fake Henry and bring back the four people on her list. Never does she say he’s to kill anyone to accomplish this. Michael is on my Bad Side. And good luck getting off it.

Charlie gives Claire the vaccine he found, thinking it’s safe because he tried it. She’s to pneumatically inject herself and Aaron every 9 days. Eko decides to forgo the church building in favour of making the hatch his bachelor pad, making Charlie feel abandoned yet again. Vincent brings him a statue and leads him to more. Either the vaccine or time has helped Charlie realize it’s actions that determine one’s quality of character. He tosses the Mary’s into the ocean. Sawyer thinks they should take the Red Beret (aka Captain Arab) instead of Pippy Longstocking or the Grape Ape to attack the Others. Michael won’t hear of it. Sayid informs Jack he thinks Michael has been compromised and is leading them into a trap. They need to make him believe he’s in control to create an advantage. Sun spies a boat heading towards the beach. Best line: Sawyer’s: “At least now we get to kill somebody.”

Lookin' so sharp

The video for Icelandic band Jeff Who?'s song Barfly is available at Kvikmynd. Just click on Tonlist near the upper left and you'll see the block for it at the bottom of the screen. Radio 2 has been playing this song for weeks and it's so upbeat, it's great. I love the piano going wild near the end. La la la la la la la... Listen to the song also at: NME's site

24: 4-5 a.m.

24. 5.22. They’re about to call Congress, who apparently don’t ever sleep either, with hopes of beginning impeachment. Not so fast, Chloe. The recording is nothing but static. Its memory chip has been erased. It occurs to Chloe that Miles was the only person who sidled up to her, and that Karen sent him. Jack goes for his throat instead of his thigh but Miles has been transferred to the White House. Can’t touch him. Logan drops the charges against Jack, making him an easy target. As we all saw driving down Rodeo Drive, Brit Hostile escapes with help from “his men.” Who are these men so easily recruited and how does one go about engaging them? And how did they spirit away one of the Canisters of Doom?

Poor Aaron. He’s beaten and bloody but at least he’s not a traitor and a disgrace to the office. Somehow he’s going to make it his duty to see Logan brought to justice. After chucking down some humble pie, Jack offers immunity to Henderson who knows he’ll be killed if he walks because Logan isn’t the mastermind. Instead he wants Jack’s help in disappearing and will take him at his word. Didn’t we establish in a previous hour that Jack’s word is worthless? While I become more confused, Henderson leads Jack to arms dealer Joseph Melina whose computer makes CTU’s look like an internet café. Chloe is so jealous now. Martha sees Agent Adams about to lock Aaron in the trunk of a car and/or beat him senseless. When Adams senselessly drops his gun to pick up a tire iron, Martha grabs the gun and shoots him.

After Henderson tells Melina to crash his super duper computer, CTU moves in. Curtis obviously didn’t set up a wide enough perimeter and is winged. Henderson insists he was trying to make Melina lift the heavy duty firewall and move his files. Now CTU (that is, Chloe) will have to decrypt them. Aaron and Martha decide to make Logan believe he’s dead. Aaron, not Logan. Martha’s to tell Mike everything. Chloe decrypts info about a Russian submarine named Natalia. The lieutenant on board is warned that terrorists are after its missiles so he goes and checks that they’re still there, as if the crew wouldn’t have noticed a bunch of terrorists lugging them off the ship. Brit Hostile uses the last canister so he and “his men” can take control of the sub. Next: the final twist. Someone wake the writers.

Lost: ?

Lost. 2.21. Proving being dead doesn’t mean you can’t be seen again in flashbacks and dreams, Ana Lucia appears to Eko and tells him to take Locke (aka Gimli McCrutch) to the question mark. When the posse reaches the hatch, the artist formerly known as Henry Gale has disappeared. Michael of course says Henry shot him and the girls who both appear to be dead until Libby spits up blood all over Sawyer in an ewww moment. Eko and Locke head out on Henry’s trail but there isn’t one. Following a major head butt, Locke hands over his rudimentary drawing of the hatches. Eko somehow knows the centre question mark is that way. Walking a ways, they find themselves back at brother Yemi’s old plane. According to Locke’s dream, Eko needs to climb up a steep cliff. When he does, and looks back down, he noticed a question mark on the ground.

In Eko’s back story, he’s working as a priest in Australia. With forged identification papers, no less. He’s sent to research a drowned girl who came back to life during her autopsy. The girl’s father, who happens to be Claire’s psychic, insists a little too much the story is partially a cover up for negligence (hypothermia made the girl appear dead) and partially his wife’s using the circumstances to get back at him for being a fake. So did he really see something when reading Claire? Who knows. The daughter, creepy in her own right, later tracks down Eko and gives him a message that Yemi sent her as she was drowning. Uh huh.

Locke and Eko discover a hatch under the question mark. It’s the Pearl, a monitoring station. Locke prints out a log which appears to be a record of when the numbers were entered in the computer. Will he be able to determine if Henry lied? Or see when Michael was typing to Walt? Eko and Locke watch the Pearl’s orientation video hosted by the doctor previously known as Candle who described a three week psychology project where the other hatches would be monitored by someone who was instructed to record everything in notebooks sent via canister to somewhere. Vague enough? Locke’s faith wavers. He feels they’re merely rats in a maze with no cheese and it’s all meaningless. Welcome to viewership. More heartbreaking: Libby manages to only say Michael’s name before she dies. Hurley already blames himself for forgetting the blankets. Will his mental state hold up?

24: 3-4 a.m.

24.5.21. The co-pilot’s whining because his nose might be broken. Didn’t I say last week: wimp! Audrey’s informed her father held his breath underwater for an hour or two (take that Mr Blaine!) and survived the plunge. Miles isn’t happy that Karen’s left him out of the New Intel Loop. A VCI emergency distress signal from the plane is enough for Logan to take pre-emptive action and order the military to shoot it down. Jack has a history of erratic behaviour and they don’t know his intentions. Informed there’s an F18 about to shoot him out of existence, Jack sticks CTU on finding a place for the plane to land, preferably a 5,000 foot length of freeway. The best Bill can find is the 118 which is 4,000 feet with an overpass. No one mentions the 118 is only a few miles from the airport. Where’s the drama in that?

Having tasered enough drunks for the day, Chloe opens a socket to the F18. Of course. When Mike tells Logan the plane is landing, he has to reconsider. His next great plan is to cordon off the landing sight and apprehend Jack. Not so fast. CTU sends Curtis and team, the Backstreets Boys. Jack, still managing to keep hold of his trusty purse, sneaks easily past the marines and into Curtis’s vehicle, even without putting up his Hoodie of Invisibility. Miles approaches Karen about her working with two people who are under arrest and more importantly, why he hasn’t been told what she’s doing. He whines some speech about unwavering allegiance and trustworthiness. And she buys it.

Brit Hostile is in the process of being transferred. You know this can’t end well. Jack hands the recording to Chloe. The Attorney General will be summoned to hear the Logan-incriminating tape. Logan can’t go on trial for murder. It would “expose certain realities” the country doesn’t want or need to know. He assures Baldie and Associates they won’t be implicated. Before he bows out, he goes to say goodbye to Martha who has the line of the hour: “If I wasn’t so horrified that I’m married to you, I might actually be impressed you’re such a good liar.” Miles calls Logan. He feels compelled to intervene with the recording that could compromise national security. Compromise it, I say! Naw, he doesn’t listen. He sidles up to Chloe with some red blinky device. We fear the tape is a goner.

House-isms

• Are you comparing me to God? I mean, it's great, but so you know, I've never made a tree.
• Who the man? I the man. I always suspected.
• A secret club. What's the secret, they're all morons?
• I promise you, the next knitting injury that comes in, we're on it like stink on cheese.
• Like I always say, there's no 'I' in team. There's a 'me,' though, if you jumble it up.
• You put the Queen on your money, you're British.
• If you talk to God, you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic.
• Everybody lies.
• Truth begins in lies.
• You want to know how two chemicals interact, do you ask them? No, they're going to lie through their lying little chemical teeth. Throw them in a beaker and apply heat.
• We all make mistakes, and we all pay a price.
• Everybody does stupid things, it shouldn't cost them everything they want in life.
• The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up.
• Ideopathic, from the Latin meaning we're idiots cause we can't figure out what's causing it.
• The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth.
• It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain.
• How does someone just start drooling? Chase? Were you wearing your short shorts?
• You want to be a rebel; stop being cool. Wear a pocket protector like he does, and get a hair cut. Like the Asian kids that don't leave the library for a twenty hours stretch. They're the ones that don't care what you think.
• But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin.
• I find your interest interesting.
• You wanna come over tonight and watch old movies and *cry*?
• Overall, drug addicts are idiots
• So what's your plan? You take the big dark one, I'll take the little girl, and the Aussie will run like a scared wombat if things get tough.
• Oh, it's storytime! Let me get my baba.

RIP Selina Kyle

9 June 1992 - 5 May 2006

"I won't be seeing you for a long while.
I hope it's not as long as the country miles."
-Camera Obscura

Lost : Two for the road

Lost. 2.20. In the flashback, Ana’s mother figures out the Jason shooting, prompting Ana to quit the force and become an airport security wander. Where she meets Jack’s Dad and accepts his offer to be his personal bodyguard in Sydney. Why he needs a bodyguard, I’m not sure. To stop him from drinking and driving? To go out walking after midnight with him? To protect him from some previously unseen Australian woman who won’t let him in her house to see a daughter we didn’t know he had? To keep Sawyer from suing after being hit by a car door? Seems Ana ran out of ideas too and called her Madre to say she was flying home on Flight 815. Not so fast there, Muchacha.

In the hatch, Ana wonders why Fake Henry doesn’t like to talk as much as killers. He ruins his Others are Harmless Theory, and that Goodwin wasn’t going to kill her, by trying to strangle her himself. Locke wallops him with a crutch that Henry’s glad his head didn’t break. When Locke asks why he tried to hurt Ana but not him, Henry says Locke is one of the good guys. The Man in Charge sent him to get Locke but his mission has failed and he expects his own people will kill him for it. Time to find some other people. Sawyer’s amused when Ana asks him for a gun. Here’s another idea: scram! Little Red Riding Hood/Lucie predictably uses her feminine wiles instead. Meanwhile Hurley plans a picnic with Libby. When he slips and mentions being hospitalized, he lies and says he broke a hip. Worse, he forgot blankets. Libby goes in search of some.

Locke thinks the Others want to trade Michael for Henry, but Jack thinks it’s a coincidence. So Locke doesn’t tell him about the earlier strangling episode. Michael claims he followed an Other to their primitive camp. There are 22 of them, mostly elderly and women. Two men with two guns guard metal doors leading underground. No doubt to a hatch where they are keeping Walt and the other kidnapees. Kate says nothing about the costumes she found and Jack and Locke say nothing about the many guns they gave Zeke. Instead they decide to go after the Others but they need the guns from Sawyer who realizes Ana has his revolver. She plans to kill Henry, but can’t. Michael can so she gives him the gun. I admit I never saw it coming. Michael shoots Ana. When Libby and walks in, she shoots her, right in the blankets. Then Michael shoots himself in the shoulder, no doubt to set up Henry while in fact letting him go. Best line: Sawyer’s “Guess that takes cuddlin’ off the table.”

24: 2-3 a.m.

24. 5.20. Bill decides to take his chances and take the fall for Chloe. She hurries off to a hotel and calls Karen for information on Jack’s flight. It’s heading to Frankfurt. Jack sneaks out of the luggage compartment and sits next to the air marshal, George Avila, claiming he’s trying to get some rest. Then he elbows George into unconsciousness. I laughed all through the commercials after that. It was so Jack. With Avila’s badge (and gun), Jack approaches Hans Meyer who Chloe has connected to Henderson. They end up back in the luggage hold discussing carry-on.

Martha discovers her husband’s staff doesn’t have much of a personality. She needs more meds to deal. Mike suspects there’s more of a problem than that. Some drunk guy tries to chat up Chloe. She tasers him for his efforts. When advised that a hijacker is in the hold, the pilot depressurizes it. But Jack won’t be killed so easily. He has his phone patched through to Stan the pilot who really should have been named Victor since it would have come in useful when he was getting vectors. The co-pilot doesn’t like the idea of letting Jack live which makes us suspicious of him right away.

Jack uses his belt to move some wires in the ceiling which cause the plane to swerve. How did he know to do that? He’s Jack Bauer, that’s how. He wants the pilot to remain in a holding pattern rather than land. Miles calls Mike, who doesn’t have time for prefaces, and whines about Karen’s soft Q&A of Bill. “Sometimes finesse and diplomacy are better than coercion,” is Mike’s answer. In between tasering episodes, Chloe figures out the co-pilot was a last minute replacement named Scott Evans who worked with Omicron. Jack informs the pilot who ends up struggling with the Evans who Jack manages to corner. Evans hands over the recording without much coercion. Wimp. Bald Guy tells Logan he better shoot down the plane unless he wants to go to prison for treason and murder.

Has it got mayonnaise?

Movie: He Died With a Falafel in his Hand. Australian. Based on book of same name by John Birmingham. Full of extremely quirky characters and farcical situations that in real life wouldn’t be humourous, but were in this film. Protagonist Danny, unemployed and wannabe writer who can’t push his writer’s block past one line, shares many different houses with a variety of offbeat, neurotic, pagan, drug addicted or just plain insane roommates who will make any singleton glad to be living alone. I got a kick out of the oft repeated refrain of “you should call your mother.” And so many people in the one house they have to put the Japanese gal in the closet, but they still can’t come up with the rent money. Goofy enough to recommend, but also a little scary. Is this the norm for Aussies?

24: 1-2 a.m.

24. 5.19. Audrey appears to be fine. At least Jack with his trusty wire thinks so. Didn’t Henderson hit an artery after all? Did Jack give up the recording for nothing? I’m starting to get tired here. The writers seem overly fond of the “doing what I thought was best for this country” mantra this season/day. Over at Bill’s house, Chloe slips through his subnet to access CTU’s satellite stream, or similar, even though Bill’s computer is kind of pathetic. Not wanting to end up like Walt Cummings, Henderson keeps the recording as protection from Logan. Using Chloe’s magic powers of surveillance, Jack tracks down Henderson who’s out of ammunition. He does, though, have a contingency plan. He has to contact his men every fifteen minutes or Heller will be toast. Heller confirms there’s a chopper with a laser on him. But he’s nobody’s pawn. He drives his car off a cliff, into a lake. More disturbing: Jack said “copy that” three times before the first commercial. He must be tired too.

Okay, so Henderson has the recording. He just doesn’t have it on him. He handed it off to someone seconds before Jack found him. Whoever it is drives back to the airport. Logan’s security guys lock Martha, who's concerned about Aaron's disappearance, in a room and blame a glitch in the scheduling software. We’ve all heard that one before. CTU realizes Chloe has escaped and that Sherry didn’t try to stop her (never underestimate Chloe’s powers of intimidation!) and that Chloe is accessing their system remotely. They trace her to Bill’s and send a team to retrieve her. There are too many loose ends and too many unknown villains. Now there’s a whole room of them, seemingly lead by some bald guy who smells doubt.

While I’m left wondering what doubt smells like, Henderson tries playing mind games with Audrey. Her father may be breathing in an air pocket. She doesn’t buy it, but she can’t shoot him either. Jack sends Curtis to help her while he tries to figure out a way on the chartered diplomatic flight the recording is leaving on. Karen starts to think things through and asks Mike, who must be in the loop. He tells her there’s no loop. She gives Bill the heads up to save Chloe who’s trying to find the plane’s passenger list to explain those union jack flags. Beneath his trusted hoodie, which renders him invisible as a cloaked Harry Potter, Jack sneaks into the luggage hold. Next: Hi-Jack! And Tony Blair may have some ‘splaining to do.

They can dig it

Movie: The Tunnel. Or in German, Der Tunnel. I watched this 2001 foreign film several months ago and then promptly lost my notes for it but wanted to eventually be sure to mention it because I thought it was well done. Only drawback was its length, clocking in at a whopping 167 minutes. (At least it wasn’t a six hour Italian mini-series.) Based on the true story of East German champion swimmer Harry Melchior who, with cohorts, digs a 430 foot tunnel from East to West Berlin in 1961 so he and said cohorts can live in freedom. Along the way they find themselves beset by logistical problems and betrayals from friends and some comedic relief in the form of a US television news crew filming their efforts. The film’s tension kept building as the time went on until it felt like either the television or my heart was going to explode. The scene with Fritzi on one side of the wall and her boyfriend on the other was especially heartbreaking. Watch it if you can invest the time.

Under Over

Six Feet Under: The fifth and final season in which the Fisher family continues to struggle with their demons, desires, drugs and death. About the episodes, from my sparse notes:

A coat of white primer.

Hello Miss O’Hara: “Slap a veil on her and the biggest slut bag on the planet becomes a fresh faced ingénue.” Rico breaks up on an IM, telling the girl he’s “looking for someone with a more positive attitude.” Very thoughtful. “You could have a friend call and pretend to be a dead person.” “Try not to be blinded by lust if you can.” The bourgeois narcissists are hoping for an obese daughter. “I want to put as many versions of myself on the planet as I can.”

Dancing for me.

The Snuffits at the beginning are unsettlingly younger than me lately. The kitchen is Ruth’s territory. She doesn’t want to take care of George for the rest of her life. She might want to look into a little something called fraud. Worked for Renee. “We’re all human” “No honey, we’re not.” The other intern at the free clinic is kind of a moron. Hello Monti Sharp. Claire doesn’t want to be the mother of her niece. Sharon disappeared but Rico can’t take a hint. “If there’s no strawberry, it’s definitely not Neapolitan.” Billy dumps his meds.

Hold my hand.

“France is tired.” “You are such a mom.” George in bathrobe crashes a funeral. Singles night. I don’t even want to know what Waterless embalming involves. Welcome back mortician Mortitia/Angela from a previous season. “Advanced anatomy for restorative art class” – ooh, sign me up! Claire’s trust was to support her education until she’s 25. “I don’t want you to wear rotting food.” I suspect baby-addicted surrogate Mary is Michelle Duggar’s younger sister.

Time flies.

Nate turns 40 and kills what might have been the Bluebird of Happiness at his party. Billy’s cranky because his clothes are too heavy. The George Report. “We should just live in cake light.”

Eat a peach.

Does he dare? He dares. He snuffs it. The adoption fair is like going to look at puppies. Julio gets into trouble down by the schoolyard. Cold cuts and bacon wrapped ham balls for the viewing. Yum. Relationships change. Mrs Chenowith negotiates – or ambushes Claire. Ruth gets George his own place, but he doesn’t’ know it yet.

The rainbow of her reasons.

“Just me and the fumes from my kiln and that morose NPR.” “The spirit works in mysterious ways.” “Au pair is so bourgie.” Donna from Saskatoon takes in a homeless man so Vanessa boots her out. Durrell is a mess. Enter Claire’s Ode to Pantyhose, sung to the tune of “You light up my life” - “You ride up my thighs, you ruin my day and fill my soul with hate.” Kudos to Lauren. “Kids aren’t slippers you can return if they don’t fit."

The Silence.

“Doing nothing all day can be so tiring.” Nice Girl Time. Gyrotonic Trainer, did she say? – I can’t wait. Silent Centering Time. George thinks he and Ruth should get a Haitian divorce for their psyche’s – or because George is already engaged. Yeah baby. There’s some office staplers that will soon end up encased in jello. “I just wanna be left alone so I can shrivel up in peace.” “Do I look like a crazy person?” “A little.”

Singing for our lives.

Thirsty and on her way to Bible class. “You were like my boyfriend and suddenly you’re gone.” Quaker church service with that sappy little ferret Maggie. “I think I might become conveniently sick.” There’s no money to be made in cremation or green funerals. “You can kill a man with a chopstick.” Russell attacks a lollipop.

Ecotone.

Where wilderness and civilization interlap. Or is it overlap? “It’s nice to be quiet with somebody.” Someone please inform the extroverts. Claire has dinner at a Republican nest with vampires and redneck blogger pig, Ted. Nate suffers another AVM. “She could still show up for her own son’s coma.” Ruth finds camping strangely cathartic.

All alone.

Is all we are. “Couple shots of Stoli won’t kill the baby.” Ted reminds me of a grown up Eddie Munster. The boys are in iPod Bliss. Lookout for the scary fruit cake. George’s speech was excellent.

Static.

“You were raised to be impaired.” A square watermelon. Well, Brenda’s got the watermelon part down. “As we get older, the number of people that completely get us shrinks.” Yes it does. And that’s the reason why you shouldn’t ditch them just because you can. Claire totals the Clairemobile. Vanessa takes to the funeral home.

Everyone’s waiting.

Sounds suspiciously like Christian music. “It isn’t the 50s anymore, no matter how you dress.” “Motherhood is the loneliest thing in the world.” And the closing montage spanning many decades of Fishers snuffing it.

24: 12-1 a.m.

24. 5.18. We’re given no explanation what Henderson did with Evelyn and child. He’s gathered another or more of his team to intercept CTU’s search for Jack. Instead of following Audrey, they should have followed Bill. Jack orders him to take Wayne somewhere safe while he delivers the recording to Heller. Jack and Audrey greet Heller’s plane but Dad’s not impressed with Jack’s criminal behaviour. In private, Jack plays the tape for him but Heller’s still critical. One wonders how Audrey grew up with any self-esteem. Dad thinks the nation can’t handle this information. It would destroy the presidency and we’d all freak out. (A line used later in the show, “Our government has no integrity” would have fit nicely in here.) He’d rather use the evidence to make Logan step down quietly. As he’s off trying, he has Jack and Audrey restrained.

Chloe’s pouting because she wasn’t involved in a briefing. She doesn’t spot the wire Sherry must be wearing so Miles and Karen can hear the ensuing conversation. They catch her calling a pay phone at Van Nuys airport’s emergency runway. Mike learns General Warren, whoever he may be, never received a call from Logan to capture Jack. Logan claims they’re using a special corporate task force so the Chinese government doesn’t learn of Jack’s faked death and get their chopsticks all bent out of shape. Chloe steals Miles’ key card, with a nice parting shot of “I don’t think you’re as big of a jerk as you pretend to be” and escapes using it. Sherry sees her but Chloe explains the evidence implicates Logan and if Sherry tries to stop her next move, she’ll recommend her for psychiatric evaluation.

Martha arranges to meet Aaron, but only his cell phone shows up. Heller reminds Logan that his “chair is not a throne” but Logan thinks Americans will be lost without heat or fuel. Heller insists Logan drop the charges against Jack and resign. Somehow Chloe knows where Bill lives and drops by to create a work around. Jack and Audrey escape their lame restraints. He forces one of Heller’s men to give him the recording but a chopper starts shooting at them. In the mix, Henderson grabs Audrey. He’ll exchange her for the tape. Not the night for Audrey to wear a white coat. Henderson severs an artery, giving her about three minutes to live, and Jack no time to do anything besides relinquish the tape. Henderson “secures a vehicle,” that is, steals a car, and calls Logan to say all’s well. Logan orders Heller’s resignation since he has no evidence. Surprisingly good line from Miles which he applied to Chloe, but I’d apply to him: “I won’t miss you when you’re gone.” Next: With all due respect returns and Audrey makes an amazing recovery.

Best Living Songwriters

Something called Past Magazine is having a vote for who readers think are the best living songwriters. You can chose 20 from their list and they've kindly provided space to write in anyone they may have forgotten, if you want. The results will be published in their June/July issue.

Just the right sound

Movie: Cherish. Despite having some flaws in the character motivation and plothole departments, this was surprisingly engaging, compelling and entertaining. It starts with a twenty-something gal named Zoe (excellently portrayed by Robin Tunney) crashing a work party she, as the office loser, wasn’t invited to. She ends up framed for a policeman’s death and placed under house arrest. The movie turns into a thriller towards the end as she becomes desperate to find the real murderer and evade being killed by him. The title Cherish refers to the name of the radio station she listens to and calls to request 70s and 80s pop schmaltz, providing a killer soundtrack. The engaging parts were Zoe’s learning to deal with her forced isolation and her growing affection for her bracelet program monitor/policeman named Bill. Those two actors carry the movie. And carry it well.

Lost : S.O.S.

Lost. 2.19. Ruth’s not bothered by the sudden food drop, but Bernard was raised to question. As were more viewers of this show. His idea is to build a huge SOS sign out of lava rocks so the next plane flying overhead will see it. Ruth admonishes him for giving the Lostaways false hope. We learn the couple met only recently, somewhere in New York state, possibly near Niagara Falls since they dined at a restaurant overlooking its tremendous view. Bernard proposed to her there but she had to tell him the illness she’s been in remission with has returned and doctors give her only a year to live. Bernard wants to marry her all the same. They honeymoon in the Australian Outback which seems an odd choice until Bernard takes her to Australian faith healer Isaac Didntcatchlastname. Anyone notice the article on a lottery winner in the magazine Ruth looked at? Isaac spouts some mumbo jumbo about harnessing magnetic energy (anything to do with the island’s experiments in same?) but realizes quickly he can’t help her type of energy. She tells Bernard, though, that Isaac healed her. Talk about giving false hope! Back in the present, Ruth explains the island really healed her. Though there’s no proof, she thinks leaving it would bring back her illness. Bernard doesn’t question this like I do.

Otherwise: Locke is frustrated trying to recreate the hatch map. Or he’s frustrated because creepy Fake Henry’s comments about not pushing the button have tested his faith. Ruth reminds him of the island’s abilities and he regains it. We learn that before boarding the doomed flight, Ruth saw Locke in his wheelchair and he saw her with her medicines. Eko is building a church, with help from Charlie. I like the Frogurt nickname for the Frozen Yogurt guy. Fake Henry’s gone on a hunger strike. Jack takes up his tradeoff idea. They’ll give Fake Henry back to the others in exchange for Walt. Dr Giggles asks Kate (because everyone else turns him down) to accompany him. Kate finally mentions the medical hatch and the costumes, which she hadn’t because she didn’t appreciate being out of the loop. They reach the Do Not Cross Line and after awhile some lunatic runs towards them. Turns out to be Michael. Good lines: “You bunk with a guy for 48 days and now he doesn’t call or write.” “Union trouble down at the sand factory, Norma Rae?” And Ruth’s “We’re lost.” Who isn’t? Next: Michael thinks the Lostaways can take the Others.

24: 11 p.m. - 12 a.m.

24. 5.17. Evelyn smartly taped a phone call that proves President Weenie’s complicity in Palmer’s assassination and placed it with a toy airplane (no, wrong show) in a safety deposit box. Jack goes off grid to retrieve it. He and Audrey arrange to bring her father into the mix. Logan claims there’s new evidence that Jack was Palmer’s sniper and orders his arrest. They’ll sort out the particulars when Jack is in custody. Karen thinks they can bring him in peacefully. I laughed for a long time over that. Karen also thinks tracking Audrey will lead them to Jack who’s barged into the bank manager’s house with Wayne. It helped that he had some gadget to deal with the house’s magnetic alarm in his handy purse uh shoulder bag uh sack. What is that thing, anyway? Audrey’s Channel 17 picks up the tracker/transponder on her car. My Channel 17 picks up TLC. She does a switcheroo at a gas station.

Logan makes plans for a press conference despite the fact that it’s nearly midnight. Most presidents call press conferences around three o’clock in the afternoon. That way they can interrupt the soaps. Plus the press they’re conferencing is more likely to be awake. Evelyn collapses and Amy dials 911. Good luck with that, kid. Surprise, the operator is not from Detroit and pays attention to her. Subsequently, Henderson and cronies determine Evelyn’s current whereabouts. Bad luck for the EMT’s. Jack gives Aaron the heads up that all is not kosher with Logan. Sherry asks Chloe if she has a minute. Chloe says no. Sherry isn’t daunted. She explains she’s discovered part of the satellite’s vector has been locked out, or something technical like that. Chloe sees Audrey’s being tracked via satellite now.

Jack notices someone outside the banks. The windows are bullet proof but there’s no exit besides the front doors. Aw, c’mon. Crawl through a vent or something. Sleep deprivation must be setting in. Chloe changes the satellite. The signal feed breaks up and blames the server. When Miles confronts her about what she’s been doing as she’s coming out of the ladies room, she says “if you really want the details, I’ll write you a report.” I bet she would, too. And it would likely conclude, “Washed my hands with the disinfectant soap but didn’t feel comfortable about it since I didn’t know who had used it before me and what germs they might have left behind.” There’s a shootout at the bank. For all his help, Manager Carl doesn’t make it. Let’s all hope there are enough hours left to impeach Weenie President. Next: Chloe was set up and DoD Dad gets tough.

Lost : Dave

Lost. 2.18. Hurley’s problem is not a slow metabolism or even a stockpile of food. He’s conjured up a negative imaginary friend who’s a bad influence on his sanity. We learn his mother institutionalized him, most likely due to that rather than his problem with eating too much. He blames himself for a deck built for eight collapsing and killing two people when he was the twenty third person to step on it. He thinks, what with the hatch larder hatch and the recent drop of enough food to open a chain of mini marts, that the island isn’t letting him lose weight. We ultimately learn that Libby was at the Santa Rosa hospital too, but as a patient, not as a clinical psychologist. So is she all better now or not? Is she leading Hurley on? Can Hurley trust her, as she says he can? If the entire show isn’t a hallucination or dream of Hurley’s, is it perhaps a hallucination of Libby’s? Is she in league with the Others?

The backstories: In addition to Sawyer’s never ending habit of throwing nicknames around (Baby Napper, Deep Dish, Jabba, Lardo), he also isn’t a fighter. Maybe in the future the Lostaways can get what they want by threatening to sick Hurley on him. Locke has a hairline fracture and will need crutches for a few weeks. He defends Fake Henry for returning to help him rather than escaping. Fake Henry claims he was part of a search party for Real Henry but found he died when the balloon crashed. No, wait. Know it all Sayid didn’t leave any grave unturned or any pocket unpicked. He found a note Real Henry wrote after he crashed. Fake Henry lies again. Locke wonders if he got himself caught on purpose, as some sort of Others plan. Fake Henry denies it, then once again messes with Locke’s mind by saying he never entered the numbers or pushed the button. He saw the hieroglyphics turn up on the counter, but then it flipped back to 108 and nothing else happened. Still lying?

Otherwise: Eko may or may not be building a Starbucks. The Others Leader is not Zeke but some very dangerous, diabolical sounding “Him.” Ana saved Henry from Sayid’s bullet. Hurley’s imaginary friend strangely echoed Desmond’s line: “See you in another life.” Best lines: “After that we can sing Kumbaya and do trust falls.” “Celery is not a snack.” “You walk off and have yourself a nice long giggle.” Next up: No idea.

24: 10-11 p.m.

24. 5.16. They don’t prolong the suspense. Jack carries Brit Hostile out to the “staging area” as Curtis honestly called it. The explosions have taken care of the Canisters of Death. Now finding the slippery Henderson is their priority. Aaron sneaks Wayne into the Presidential Compound to talk with his brother’s source, the First Lady’s handmaiden Evelyn. She won’t reveal who’s behind everything until they rescue her daughter Amy who was kidnapped an hour ago. They’ll all meet Jack in some barn located conveniently close to downtown LA. Miles has whipped up a statement distorting the day’s events to blame Bill that he wants Audrey to sign. Never mind that CTU tortured her, Audrey would rather save her dignity than her career. At least until Jack calls. He needs the schematics of Henderson’s next lair. Chloe can triangulate the schematics or whatever she does to get them, except Homeland Security is about to replace her.

Here comes the quote of the episode: “I have a working relationship with Chloe. She is an asset that you cannot afford to lose.” Let’s hope the writers understand that line applies to more than CTU. Homeland agrees to keep Chloe on in exchange for Audrey’s signature. Henderson calls Evelyn and wonders why Wayne is at the Compound. Since the VP saw him, the gang is going with the assumption that he’s in with the bad guys. Henderson gives her an address to meet him and Chloe uploads its schematic to Jack’s PDA. Once there, Jack and Wayne take out four guards. As Amy is being returned to Evelyn, there’s a shootout. Henderson drives off in her car. Evelyn’s been hit but the wound isn’t serious. But wait, it’s not the VP who’s behind this. It’s the P. Yup, President Weenie. Next: Jack tries to make a deposit at the bank but they’d rather he didn’t.

Scratching the surface

Icelandic band of the moment: Hraun. Translated into English, Hraun means Lava, though I wouldn't say their music is characteristic of Lava. It's more acoustic, folksy guitar music. Lead singer and songwriter Svavar Hnútur Kristinsson looks a little like Jack Black's younger brother while the rest of the band may have stepped through a time warp from a sixties hippy commune. Last year I was quite taken with Svavar's haunting solo song "Dansa", whose mp3 you can find in the second left hand column of one of his web pages. Now Radio 2 is playing Hraun's "Clementine," sort of an updated, more melancholy, softer and unique version of the old song "Oh My Darling Clementine." There's a video stream to the band performing the song live on Iceland TV as well. Hraun also has some other mp3s available. And for anyone interested in "Celementine's" new lyrics:

Oh my darling Clementine
How could I leave, while you were sleeping
Oh my darling Clementine
I couldn't bear to hear you weeping
You tried to teach me right from wrong
You tried to burn off all my bad ways
But misery's a stubborn friend
And she persists in spite of good days
So I sailed from your white sands
On a ship of broken plans
And your face is on my mind
Oh my darling Clementine

Oh my lovely Clementine
It's such a hell to be without you
My soul tormented every night
And every day, I think about you
I adored your foolish charm
Never meant to do you harm
And your pain is on my mind
Oh my darling Clementine

Oh my precious Clementine
I never dared to look behind me
All this time I ran and ran
And I ran aground, and I pray you'll find me
And with all the damage done
I realise that you're the one
And I hope you'll still be mine
Oh my darling Clementine
And with all the bad I've done
I realise that you're the one
I'm such a fool, will you be mine
Oh my darling Clementine

Lost : Lockdown

Lost. 2.17. I thought it was lazy or weird of the writers to have Helen like obituaries. She could have merely been reading the morning paper, as so many people do. Her fascination with obits seemed placed in on purpose. Locke’s father, Anthony Cooper, if that is his real name and I doubt it, must not have been well liked or had any other family since only Locke and Helen (and two suspicious looking Thug Guys) showed up at the gravesite service. Considering how awful he was to Locke, that wasn’t a surprise. His showing up again after he died was. Suddenly I’m watching Days of Lost. Although he doesn’t want to show his face in public, he goes to a bar with Locke and explains his retirement con and need to extract the seven hundred thousand dollars from the bank. If Locke helps, he can have a share. Losing a kidney didn’t teach him anything. He actually helps. For a minute I thought there was going to be a toy airplane in the safety deposit box.

Worse than that, when Thug Guys show up at the house, Locke lies to Helen about his father being alive. She follows him to the Flightline Motel (that was the best name they could think of?) and sees Cooper very much alive so when Locke proposes to her, she turns him down. So that explains their breakup. We still don’t know how Locke went from being a home inspector (everybody wave at Nadia as she buys a house) to working at the box company and being a paraplegic. Back on the island, Locke hears a woman’s voice in the hatch’s speakers. She counts down to the blast doors dropping. Locke is sealed off in the living area with Henry. When they try to pry open the doors, Locke is trapped so Henry has to crawl through the vent to reach the computer button. He somehow remembers the numbers, though he only heard them once. After a black light shows Locke a schematic of the island’s six hatches and their centre hub, the blast doors raise. Henry swears he had nothing to do with it.

As for the rest of the Lostaways, Charlie finds Mrs Gale’s grave under a canopy of a balloon. Sayid’s not willing to take it at face value and discovers Mrs Gale isn’t buried there. Henry Gale is. Jack pits himself against Sawyer in a poker game to recover the meds. We learn Jack was in Thailand, but he doesn’t tell us if that’s where he picked up his tattoos. Jack lies to Kate, telling her there’s a cracked water pipe in the hatch so she won’t go there. They stumble on a parachute that appears to be a food drop by the Dharma Gang and the reason for the Lockdown. Best line: Hurley/Muttonchops’s, “Maybe if I were in the loop, I could be more helpful.” Next: Hurley goes bonkers.

Never trust a pirate

The trailer for the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie: Dead Man's Chest due in theatres July 7th.

24: 9-10 p.m.

24. 5.15. After all protocol she’s broken in one day, surprisingly Chloe isn’t in trouble. Instead Bill asks her to check out Audrey’s story. He detains Audrey for interrogation which Jack wants to handle. For the fun of it or because he thinks Collette is lying? We’ll see. Brit Hostile cleverly acquires himself and his thugs a police car. Chloe digs up a connection between Audrey and Walt Cummings. They cracked open the mini bar last April at the River Hotel. What a bad day Mrs Cummings is having. Some gal named Sherry Rothenberg from Section 5 replaces Edgar. Chloe is not amused. At first Audrey lies to Jack about Walt, but he makes her fess up as only he can. But she still knows nothing about Collette. Jack’s convinced. Karen, not so much. She calls for Burke. Jack’s tasered and can’t protect Audrey.

Miles gives Sherry grief about being on Level 3 of 24’s computer game when she isn’t qualified. But wait. She’s “provisionally qualified.” So there. She informs Chloe she filed a harassment suit against Miles back in their San Francisco office days. Chloe feels so bad for her, she later takes the blame for matrix data being sent unfiltered even though it was Sherry’s boo-boo. Wayne Palmer hasn’t shown up for their date/meeting so Aaron goes looking for him. To prove that Henderson is going after Jack by using Audrey, he needs to find proof Collette is lying so her immunity deal can be negated. Brit Hostile and men arrive at the Wilshire Gas Company and demand access to the control room. Some poor worker named Sam has to cut the pipeline pressure by half in 15 minutes.

Chloe finds Collette called Henderson eight times, something she didn’t tell them. That’s enough for Jack to rescind her deal. He threatens to kill her so she says Henderson told her to use Audrey’s name if she got in trouble. She doesn’t know the exact target. Just that it’s one of the natural gas companies. The Hostiles plan to pipe the gas into homes. As luck would have it, Sherry was a chemistry major and knows the company’s PSI would have to be lowered. Chloe finds the right place and is weirded out when Sherry complains about Bill’s hand brushing across her shoulder. I could just see her thinking, “And people say I have problems!” In the woods somewhere, Aaron and Wayne meet up, are involved in a shootout and escape. Looked like Wayne was injured, though. The CTU guys chopper to Wilshire but Brit Hostile releases the canisters. There’s not enough time to power down. Jack has to ignite the gas. The tanks start exploding but Jack goes back for Brit. They fight. Jack stuffs him in the police car as a tank near them explodes. Next: no sign of Jack.

March Madness

As defined by Becky: The emotion felt when you discover all your shows are pre-empted by basketball for several weeks.

It's a library thing

As someone who works in a library, I should have been aware of the Library Thing site as soon as it started, which was on August 29, 2005. It now has over 28,000 users and I have signed up myself. Users can "pull book data from libraries around the world and online bookstores to create a catalog of their own personal collection." A free account enables you to list 200 books but you can list an unlimited number for ten dollars a year or twenty five dollars for a lifetime account. You can also search for users with the same books you own and see what else they have that you might want to read. It's also interesting to check out the list of 25 most owned books and the 75 top authors. No big surprise who tops those. If the site continues adding books at the rate they are (over 10,000 per day), they estimate they'll overtake OCLC's billion book holding database (which adds over 8,000 books per day) in 3815. Something to look forward to.

Should be preceded by: Hopeless 

The Romantic Princess

You are absolutely in love with love! Charming, romantic, and feminine are all words that describe you. You are a huge flirt and know how to use your feminine wiles to get your way. You are always on the lookout for the guy who will sweep you off your feet.

Role Models: Isolde, Juliet

You are most likely to: Free a cursed prince from a terrible spell with a single kiss.

28501 other people got this result! This quiz has been taken 82991 times. 34% of people had this result.

What Kind of Princess are You?

Lost : The Whole Truth

Lost. 2.16. We thought Jin had learned to show his wife respect, but no, he’s still a hothead, ripping up her plants. Later Bernard and Rose, as they’re arguing/beachcombing, discover Sun lightheaded. I found it interesting that Bernard’s character seems rather fatalistic while Rose is always optimistic. How they’ve made their opposites attract relationship work all these years is another mystery since, according to John Cleese, the only thing opposites attract is divorce. We learn back in the past, Sun was meeting her former almost boyfriend to learn English from him, although she continued to see him after she became fluent. She even confides to him that the fertility doctor told her she couldn’t have children. The doctor’s one of the first who at first doesn’t tell the whole truth. His conscience leads him to tell Sun it’s Jin who can’t father children while she is fine. He was afraid of what Jin would do to him.

Are you there Sawyer? It’s Sun needing some medical supplies. He’s not running a drugstore so she has to blurt out she needs a pregnancy test. Why she thinks anyone would bring one on an airplane is curious, unless she’s the one who brought it. The test is from a Widmore Labs, mentioned or seen in a flashback in England. And it’s positive. Kate mentions to Sun she had to take one before, but does not tell us its results. Meanwhile Jin’s realized a lot of his frustration is coming from not being able to talk with anyone due to the language barrier. He doesn’t want to fight with Sun anymore and puts her garden back together. She tells him she’s pregnant. Daddy-o is thrilled. But it’s either an island miracle (not so farfetched considering Locke’s miraculous recovery) or Sun’s lying her head off and Jin’s not the Daddy-o. I’m betting on the latter.

Ana Lucia finds Locke outside her tent. He thinks she’s the most qualified to talk with the unmotivated Henry in his hatch. His hatch? Since when does the hatch belong to Locke? Guess he goes by the law of Finders Keepers. Ana convinces Henry to draw her a map. Rather than tell the Bickering Brothers about it, she takes it to Sayid. Charlie, bored with making a dining room table (??), invites himself along on their quest to find the balloon. Jack asks Henry to join him and Locke for a Dharma cereal breakfast. In yet another emotionally manipulative move, Henry ever so casually mentions the map he drew for Ana. And makes them wonder if he’s leading her into a trap. Best lines: “The steam opens my pores.” “Humour’s not his strong suit – and I’m saying this to you!” “You looking at my bum?” Next: the smiley face balloon shows up.

24: 8-9 p.m.

24. 5.14. Henderson might be an android. Although he’s been tortured, he feels well enough to skip out of the building before anyone but the security cameras see him. Take that, Marwan. Chloe decrypts a file from Henderson’s computer and finds information on Collette. Curtis readies a team to bring her in and you just know Jack’s going with. The President sets up a curfew for LA, to be enforced by the military. There’s a question as to whether this is legal or not. The VP claims his lawyers are on it. Let’s all laugh. Meryl Streep’s older sister Karen from Homeland Security usurps Bill’s control. Chloe doesn’t appreciate having to give her key card to minion Miles. Wayne Palmer calls Aaron to arrange a date. Or to give him something from his brother. Collette arranges to meet Desmond at the Van Nuys airport in 45 minutes. By the time the op team reaches the hotel room, no one’s there. ESP tells them to check the roof where Desmond tackles Curtis and takes his gun.

He’s not Desmond from Lost after all. He’s Teo from German Federal Intelligence. Giving up Collette will ruin everything he’s been working on. Jack promises to give him something more valuable: the WET List. To get it, Chloe needs her key card so she spills coffee on Miles. He asks her what’s wrong with her, as if there’s time for that lengthy list. After she uploads the WET List to Jack, he promises to give the memory card to Desmond/Teo once Collette is in custody. Meanwhile Brit Hostile is transferring a whopperload of money to Collette. Bill and Meryl’s Sis catch Chloe’s hack into NSA. She admits what she did and they get all huffy with Jack but there’s no time to wait for presidential authorization. Collette’s in the airport’s parking garage.

Desmond/Teo gives up the gal but the memory chip Jack gives him was programmed to self-destruct. And Desmond/Teo sums up Jack’s character with: “I had your word. Now I know what it’s worth.” We suspect Collette’s been chatting with Mandy because she’s not about to blab without full immunity. Besides, she doesn’t know where Brit Hostile is. She’s just an “independent contractor.” The source of the digitally encrypted schematic? That’s Audrey. Everybody say Huh? Since it’s unlikely Audrey would have done such a thing for money, any guesses as to her motivation? The van following Wayne shoots out his tire and his car crashes. He survives and races the heck out of there before he can be captured. Run Wayne! Get out of 24’s Killing Machine while you’re still breathing! Next: without stopping to think Audrey may be a patsy, Jack goes ballistic.

Some punk with a shotgun

Movie: Capote. Count me in on those not old enough to know what he was like in his prime. If I heard this correctly, following the book In Cold Blood (which was indeed ground-breaking and did change literary styles), Capote never finished a major work for the rest of his life. About twenty years. That tells us an enormous amount about how involved and emotionally torn apart he was with the case. He couldn’t forgive himself for putting his work over his friendship, but I seriously wonder if there was anything more he could have done and the fact remains his help gave those two undeserving murderers several more years than they would have had without him. What struck me as more surprising and horrific was his blatant lying to Smith. Something Capote seemed to do with ease. I was not expecting such heartless manipulation. Especially from a man who valued honesty and individuality. Guess the book’s title, as he said, referred to more than the crime after all. As for the movie: spectacularly filmed and an amazing performance by Hoffman. At times I caught myself wondering if they’d inserted preserved stock footage of the real Capote. Catherine Keener was also wonderful as Harper Lee. (Always wondered why Lee never wrote a second novel. The answer might be here.) And Clifton Collins Jr, who several times frightened me with just a look or expression. The only things that I thought should have been included from the book were: the killers emphasizing before they reached the house that they would leave no witnesses (the movie makes it sound unpremeditated) and that among Smith’s last comments, he said he thought he should be allowed to live because he might have something beneficial to offer society. Which is exactly why any murder is wrong.

That joke isn't funny anymore

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation.Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life...You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material.You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

What type of writer should you be?

24: 7-8 p.m.

24. 5.13. Two requests. First, for the love of all that is good and holy, can they stop using the phrase “with all due respect”? Second, can they please stop killing off beloved main characters? Why should I care if a bunch of unknown actors on television are gassed? As for the hour, a Chemical Response Team possibly from Homeland Security is on its way but they’ve taken the scenic route and won’t reach CTU before some corrosive agent in the gas breaks down the seals in the safe zones. The gas masks are in a contaminated area. Way to go. Jack needs schematics but Chloe’s in shock and Kim’s Creepy Boyfriend’s psychobabble about breathing isn’t helping her. It may not have been deliberate on Jack’s part, but his confrontation with Creepy Boyfriend snapped Chloe out of it. Confrontation makes her uncomfortable. They need to flush the gas out of the building with the air conditioning but the controls are blocked by some program on a computer in the contaminated area. Jack is sure he can hold his breath long enough to reach it. I’ve been waiting half the day for his hood to come in handy for something.

Clearly Kiefer spent some of his childhood watching Red Green, for he knows the value of duct tape. But there’s a grate in his way, part of a security upgrade that someone didn’t file properly. Starting to think the CTU staff is a bunch of incompetent morons here. Lucky for the gang, Sam can reach the computer from where he is. And he has the guilty conscience to sacrifice his life. Pity he has to take some other CTU loser with him. Kim apologizes to Chloe who admits she sent Jack information about her life. That’s the final straw for Kim. Her father knew what bad shape she was in and didn’t help her. Worse, Henderson’s still not talking and appears to have slipped into a coma. Tony’s about to jab him with something lethal. Jack races there but not before Henderson wakes and jabs Tony instead. Since Michelle’s gone, Tony hasn’t the will to try live. Bummer.

Meanwhile, if anyone still cares, the Vice President is using Logan to promote his own agenda. Some hot babe named Collette (who really should have been Mandy) is providing Brit Hostile with plans for a new target, while she’s not furthering her own agenda with Desmond from Lost. Beware the Numbers! And Mrs Homeland Security inexplicably wants to take Buchanan’s place. All the best lines came from Chloe. Kim’s proximity seemed to bring out the snarkiness of her. “What’s with you and the breathing? Is that your solution to everything?” “It could be a good thing or it could be a bad thing. That’s what I don’t know means.” And something like: “I don’t judge information, I just pass it on.” Next: Lookout Curtis! You could be the next one caught in 24’s Killing Machine!

The bees behind my eyes

The things you learn while reading Discover magazine. One was that an experiment done by Adrian Dyer from the University of Cambridge in England determined that honeybees can recognize human faces. I had an image of a police line-up and the bee tapping on the two-way mirror glass to point out the criminal. But the experiment used head shots of various people. One photograph would have a drop of a sugary liquid next to it while the others had bitter liquids. Two days later, with eighty percent accuracy, the bees could identify the photograph that originally had the sugar reward. I’ve never had much problem so far in my life with bees, other than once being stung by a wasp and once stepping on a bee but my oldest sister always seemed to draw their attentions. She was convinced they had it out for her. She may have been right.

He's Johnny Cash

Movie: Walk the Line. Why this film was snubbed as a nominee for Oscar’s Best Picture is a mystery to me. Ditto for The Constant Gardener. But that’s another story. I was glad to see Reese Witherspoon win the award for Best Actress. And I think in a year without Capote, Phoenix would have won Best Actor. While this biopic sheds light on Cash’s life, it perhaps does an even better job of showing us June Carter’s personality. She seemed remarkably intuitive and intelligent, possessing a quick wit and a generous, caring spirit. And, having been in the music business her entire life, she understood more about a musician’s temperament and need to express; something Cash’ first wife was clueless about. I liked the DVD’s appearance of a vinyl record, but the extra features were practically nonexistent. I guess there is a collector’s edition that is bound to have more. Best line, the brother’s “You can’t help anybody if you can’t tell them the right story.” But I also found June’s “Got a hitch in your giddy-up?” line extremely amusing, even if I’m not sure of it’s exact meaning.

Death by Jello

Movie: The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio. I’m not sure how anyone can retain such cheerfulness and optimism with an alcoholic, emotionally abusive husband and ten children to take care of on next to no money and without Prozac. I wasn’t alive in the 1950s and only remember a few years in the late 1960s, but housewives also didn’t have the conveniences of microwaves, disposable diapers, dishwashers. Either the fact that this was based on a memoir written by one of the children remembering things better than they were (the house is spotless, the meals are on time, the children are perfectly behaved) or Evelyn Ryan truly was a saint. It’s interesting to note how male opinion of women in the work force has changed. The husband in this film was horribly threatened by his wife’s entering silly contests. Today, men seem to expect women to contribute half, and in some cases all, the family earnings. And, of course, nowadays women don’t have to stay in a bad relationship if they don’t want to. I also found it interesting how the women in the jingle writing club were supportive of each other, emotionally and professionally. From Defiance to Mean Girls in several short decades.

24: 6-7 p.m.

24. 5.12. The opening credits included an actor named James Morrison. I half expected whoever this was to burst into “Hello, I Love You” whenever he appeared. The Hostile with Sam’s key card magically changes the photo id. How he knew this technology would be needed today is more mysterious that Jim Morrison’s death. Apparently while Jack was “dead” Kim met with the Hendersons because Chase left her. Now she’s continuing with her horrible taste in men trend and taken up with some clinical psychologist named Barry who’s a lot more hostile to Jack than some of the Hostiles we’ve met thus far. Despite his insisting he was protecting her, Kim’s not into forgiving Jack just yet. In fact, she tries to wound him to the core with the line, “There’s something wrong with people like you.” Ouch. Later Chloe suggests Kim stop the flack and cut Jack some slack.

I think it was the Vice President who suggests Logan dispense with the time wasting Congressional formalities and instill Marshall Law, under the guise of some more innocuous term. Mike knows they’ll have to inform the public and panic will set in. Besides, the Law wasn’t set up as a preemptive measure. They don’t listen so he convinces Martha to talk some sense into her weenie hubby. Henderson isn’t responding to CTU’s torture methods, probably because he truly thinks he’s doing the best thing for the country. Carrie notices a problem with the ventilation system. Since Edgar doesn’t have time to check it out, she does. She sees a Canister of Doom but is stabbed to death before she can notify anyone. Bill informs Sam about his sister’s demise so he has to mention his missing key card. Chloe checks the gate logs and discovers CTU has yet again been compromised and must be evacuated. Jack kills the Hostile in Sublevel B but the nerve gas is seeping in. The main cast seals themselves off in the conference room but Edgar’s put on a little too much weight and is too slow. His last word before expiring, a heart-rending “Chloe?” RIP, big guy. Best line: “You don’t wanna know what I know.” Next week: the gang sends Tony for Chinese take-out .

24: 5-6 p.m.

24. 5.11. First of a two hour night. Tony’s awake and asking about Michelle’s condition. When he can’t get a straight answer, he sneaks out of his hospital bed, checks the computer and sees she’s deceased. Martha blabs to Aaron that Logan not only knew about the motorcade threat and didn’t warn them, he gave the terrorists the route. Later Mike sees Martha and Aaron holding hands. Chloe hacks into Henderson’s work computer but he erased the hard drive. Only Chloe would notice an open socket exchanging data with an offsite link which turns out to be Henderson’s home. One of the terrorists who failed to blow up the motorcade carelessly carried a schematic of a ventilation system that matches Tyler Memorial Hospital which must be evacuated, except for seven newborns who can’t be moved. Bill allows Sam to call his sister and beg for some lembas bread, or his key card. No dice. At Henderson’s house, only his wife Miriam is home. Jack sees Henderson’s been downloading music and should inform the RIAA. They’d be there ready to lynch him in seconds. Chloe finds a shadow drive on the computer but can’t crack the password. Henderson returns home with a briefcase full of cash. He dares Jack to shoot him in the thigh, but Jack surprises us all by blasting Miriam. Henderson doesn’t mind. He still won’t talk. Jack brings him to CTU where they’ve discovered the Brit currently in control is named Vladimir Bierko and probably not from Manchester. They also spy a confirmed hostile, Viktor, dressed as an orderly on the hospital security cameras. Curtis offs him but the canister is beeping. In a move that made me laugh, Curtis hustles the canister to a containment unit before it spews the gas. Some Hostile ties up Jenny and her boyfriend, shoots them and takes the key card.

One's not half two

Movie: Love, Ludlow. I wanted to be sure to mention this because, although a very small movie, I found it charming. Based on the play Finger Painting in a Murphy Bed. The abrasive Jersey-gal Myra has been taking care of her bipolar/artistic brother Ludlow since their mother died. When Reggie from work takes an interest in her, Ludlow tries to destroy the relationship. All three actors made you feel sympathetic towards their rather socially inept characters. Nicely done, especially by Alicia Goranson whose Myra could easily have been annoying but was quirky and ultimately endearing. And there’s a hope-filled ending.

Lost: Maternity Leave

2.15. Aaron has a fever and Danielle once again appears from out of nowhere to spook Claire into thinking he’s infected with the sickness her team had, if they had it at all and Danielle didn’t just imagine it in her insanity. Deciding she must unblock her missing memories, Claire has Libby hypnotize her. She remembers being in a hospital room where a doctor injected medicine into her unborn baby. Turns out the doctor was Ethan. Down the hall, a baby room was set up, complete with a mobile that played “Catch a Falling Star,” a song that should have been familiar to Claire, had she not been loopy on meds. Ethan was interrupted by a cleaned up Zeke who said something cryptic about needing to make a list before bringing Claire in and how their superior isn’t going to be happy. Despite having a cabinet of medicine, Ethan says there isn’t enough vaccine for Claire and the baby. Once she delivers, she can return to the camp. She believed him, but another girl there knew she’d be killed and helped her escape.

Thelma and Louise (Kate and Danielle) help Claire find this medical 3rd hatch, which by now has also been abandoned. Looking inside some lockers, Kate finds costumes the Others have been wearing. But will she tell anyone? There’s no vaccine, so the gals leave. On the way home, Claire remembers Danielle found her after her escape. So she wouldn’t return to Ethan, Danielle knocked her out and carried her back to the Lostaways. Claire figures the Other girl who helped her was the long lost Alex.

Meanwhile, in hopes of sharing some literary analysis, Locke gives Henry a Dostoyevsky novel to pass the time though Henry would prefer a less dense Stephen King. Somehow Locke knows Hemingway was jealous of Dostoyevsky and Henry knows Locke is jealous of Jack. Eko takes a break from chopping down trees to spill his guts to Henry about the two Others he killed, making us believe he believes Henry is an Other, though so far no one has any proof. Sawyer’s found some new glasses. Ethan insisted the Others are good people but we’ve only seen evidence to the contrary. Next: the Lostaways go in search of the balloon and Sun might be in the Pudding Club.